Capitalist Health Care

[liberalpress]

RECEPTIONIST: Good Morning and welcome to Capitalist Health Care Corporation. How may I help you?

PATIENT: Yes, I’d like some treatments for my cancer please.

R: Well, let’s see what we have… I see that your particular form of cancer is best treated with an aggressive program of chemo therapy and radiation. Is that what you’d be interested in?

P: Whatever you think will work.

R: OK, let’s just …Oh. Oh, Dear.

P: What?

R: Well, this treatment is, as you can imagine, quite expensive, and I see that your insurance was terminated when you were laid off.

P: Well, sales were down because of the Recession and..

R: Bottom line is sir, were sorry, but we cannot afford to treat your cancer at this time.

P: What? But, why…?

R: Well, pharmaceutical companies have spent a lot of money developing the drugs involved and testing them. The result is they are nearly 100% effective.

P: Then why can’t you…

R: Well, as I mentioned they are incredibly expensive. And our Oncologist is STILL paying off his student loans. And you don’t even want to know his monthly lease on the Porsche. I mean, wow!

P: But..

R: Anyhoo, good luck with the cancer and fell free to stop by and chat anytime.

P: Is there nothing you can do for me?

R: (sighs, and reaches under desk producing a giant pill bottle):Regardless of what the liberals say we are not heartless here at Capitalist Health Care. Have this bottle of Tylenol on the house.

P: Wow, you mean this is…

R: You betcha. Extra Strength. Says so right on the label. Buh-bye now. Next, please.