Lucifer: “I’m With Beck, 100%!”

[20score]

“It’s not often that I make this type of explicate endorsement,” said The Prince of Darkness. “It’s usually just implied by the words and actions of my latest, um, ambassador, so to speak. You know, someone does a lot of evil deeds, becomes rich and famous and everyone just knows, we’re in business together. But, Glenn, well,” Satan trailed off with a look of pride on his face.

“What am I, chopped liver?” said Sean Hannity with a smile. Hannity booked an exclusive primetime interview with Satan, who said he was willing to break with tradition to make an appearance on his favorite network.

“Oh, I’ve done very well by you, Sean, and you know it,” Beelzebub teased. “In fact your whole network has kept me busy for years. You add Limbaugh, Savage, Coulter, Elder and the rest to Fox… plus I still have all the normal despots to attend to, well it’s just – no rest for the wicked as they say. It was much easier when I didn’t have all these media people to deal with. Just politicians, kings, emperors, business tycoons and the like.”

“What about all the thieves, rapists, murderers and such?” asked Sean.

“Oh, they’re just nuts, I make no deals with them,” said Satan. “Those are kind of one way relationships. I don’t have to give a thing.”

“But you said you didn’t make a deal with Glenn,” said Sean, thinking he had Satan in a ‘Gotcha’ moment. “And Rush is always bragging on the deal he got from you… said you two were like brothers. Thought he was your favorite”

“He was. Look, I’m not going to take away from all the good, er, bad – sometimes even I get confused – that Rush has done, but with Glenn it’s on an entirely different level. At first I was furious at Beck. I yelled and stabbed demons with my pitchfork, ‘Who the hell does this upstart think he is? I’m the Father of Lies, not him!’ It was kind of a hellish time for my helpers, if you know what I mean,” said The Tempter. “But then Glenn asked for a sit down and we talked for hours. Look, I know he’s not bright, in fact he’s an idiot, but he’s got a black soul, and I have a weak spot for that. He didn’t want anything. He was just happy to lie and turn history inside out. And if someone goes a little nuts because of his lies and people get hurt, well, that’s just icing on the cake. All he has I gave him gratis… First time for everything.”

“Look it’s been great and thanks for all your work,” Satan said while standing up. “I have to go, but tell Rove I want my books back!”

[Rhiannon12866]

1. K&R! Well done!

:evilgrin:

[20score]

4. Thanks much!

[Rhiannon12866]

14. You're more than welcome! :-)

Rings true to me... x(

[alfredo]

2. Ha! Very good.

[LonePirate]

3. Fantastic! That "Father of Lies" bit had me howling!

[20score]

20. Thank you!

[Richard Steele]

5. Nice.If it was a joke, it would be pretty funny. K&R

[gratuitous]

6. Of course Satan's deal with Beck was free gratis

There'd be no soul to take.

[gateley]

7. I always thought I saw your cloven hooves all over these guys, your highness. nt

[Odin2005]

8. The Prince of Darkness? you mean Dick Cheney?

[suede1]

9. I could see this in The Onion!

[20score]

13. Thanks! Love to hear that.

[suede1]

15. Welcome! I'd love for Beck to see this!

[ChicagoSuz219]

10. Funny...

Beck better watch his back... Liz Cheney's gunning for his spot.

[upi402]

11. Link?

Oh, here's the http://www.foxnews.com/">LINK
:rofl:

[20score]

16. lol!

[JCMach1]

12. I watched about 10-min of Beck for the first time the other day...

I was seriously shocked at how far even FOX has jumped the shark.

The right-wing has completely lapsed into fascist, racist delusion.

[punkin87]

17. This is great!! knr! LMAO

[20score]

19. Thanks!

[mitchum]

18. Misleading headline: Lucifer is not Satan

otherwise, I really enjoyed the piece :)

[ihavenobias]

21. K & R n/t

[20score]

22. It has been awhile since I wrote any satire.

And I really hate Beck, so...

[punkin87]

23. Going to post on Face Book, if that's okay