Dear Dumbass Massa: If you are tickling someone NOT related directly to you - it's SEXUALLY related

[LynneSin]

I don't go randomly tickling my co-workers. If I did I would end up in HR going thru sexual harassment awareness training. Unless it's your partner or your child (and even at a certain age it becomes a bit inappropriate) then tickling IS a sexual advance:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/eric-massa-explains-groping-allegations-abrupt-resignation/story?id=10057134

In an hour-long interview with Glenn Beck on Fox News Tuesday night, Massa offered yet another explanation for quitting his post.

"Now they're saying I groped a male staffer. Yeah, I did," he said. "Not that I groped him; I tickled him until he couldn't breathe, then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday. … It was kill the old guy. You can take anything out of context.

"That's why I resigned. I don't know how else to put this. I own this behavior," he said.

Tickling until someone can't breath is no different then groping. It's inappropriate touching and it's covered in agressive sexual behavior!

[TwilightGardener]

1. This whole thing is just...weird. He's a very confused individual.

[niceypoo]

2. Thats a stretch

[izquierdista]

5. Not according to this thread

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7884614

And as the OP shows, once you make that stretch, some prude will be at the other end to try and shame you.

[Ms. Toad]

3. Not necessarily sexual

But definitely aggressive. My uncle used it on my mother when she was growing up - she describes it is a torture tactic - and cannot (many decades later) tolerate being tickled, even briefly in good fun.

[DURHAM D]

16. I had an uncle who used to tickle me when I was a kid.

I hated it. He would not stop it. Finally one day my mother forced him to stop by telling him he was a nothing but a BULLY. She went on to say that all forms of teasing are bullying tactics. She also pointed out that he never tickled any male members of the family thus it was inappropriate. After that he never teased or tickled me again.

Not long after that I pointed out that my older brother teased me and I didn't like it and wasn't it a form of bullying? She thought about it and spoke with my Dad and they made him stop teasing me (and my sister). This was over 50 years ago and he has never done it again.

This stuff is really pretty simple and I agree with your mother - no tickling.

[Maru Kitteh]

21. That's an excellent recount. Thanks for posting it and sharing it.

[GodlessBiker]

4. He's in complete denial (of so many things). His judgment is certainly impaired.

[FarCenter]

6. It is bullying and the assertion of dominance by the person doing the tickling

[DURHAM D]

17. Totally agree. nt

[Name removed]

7. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[panader0]

8. Somehow this reminds me of bush's backrub of the German Chancellor

[Maru Kitteh]

23. That's an apt comparrison. Non-consensual touching meant to demean and establish dominance

[pipi_k]

9. Tickling till someone can't breathe is also very abusive

That being said, I don't tickle anyone...even close family members...and lord help the person who ever tickled me till I couldn't breathe. That person would find him/herself with a fucking black eye when the tickling stopped.

[LynneSin]

10. Tickling was foreplay with my ex-boyfriend

If one of us wasn't in the mood, it wouldn't take long for us to turn it around with a bit of tickling.

[pipi_k]

28. Well, between people who mutually consent...

it's something else entirely. Not abusive, I mean.



Personally, I don't find tickling to be erotic or funny, and never have, but whatever turns people on...hey...go for it.

:)

[Kalyke]

11. Yet, we think Rahm "The Dickhead" didn't have ANYTHING to do with this?

Look... Massa owned it and resigned. That's the upstanding thing to do.

Now, can we start asking questions about why the ethics committee - who doesn't have to release ANYTHING regarding an on-going investigation - decided to come out - NOW - with this? Now, right before a vote? Now, right before Massa could have voted against Obama's bill because it's not far-reaching enough?

Massa had a cancer scare and was not planning to run again, anyway. But, with this leaking out like a sieve, Massa decided to say, "Screw it. This drama isn't worth my health."

BTW, I'm very good friends with some Massa staff members. I'm not speaking with speculation.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

12. Who made Massa act inappropriately with staffers? Rahm?

These incidents have gone back over a year and if he's so sure that Rahm is trying to take him out, why not stick around for the vote next week? He was healthy enough to go on Glenn Beck's show.

I'm sick of people laying the blame for their misdeeds at other people's feet. It wasn't Elliot Spitzer's fault-he got taken down by the man! It wasn't John Edward's fault, he was taken down for standing up for the people! If those two could keep it in their pants, they would have been fine. And if Massa could follow basic employee/employer rules, he would be fine too.

[Kalyke]

34. And... my first statement was... "he owned it and resigned."

I'm not defending the indefensible.

I'm saying, "that's not all of the story."

[CoffeeCat]

14. It's obvious that what you say is possible.

I've always been quite curious about people who adamantly know
FOR SURE that this isn't about the vote--and that Rahm and the
White House definitely didn't have a hand in pushing Massa out
to help clear the path for this healthcare bill to pass.

It's possible. I'm not saying it's a certainty, but it's possible.

By now, every Senator and Congress member in DC has some kind of
scandal, untoward behavior or blackmailable offenses in their closet.
These people are all drunk with power, and they are in bed with the
corporations. It's just a matter of pulling the trigger when someone
steps out of line.

To suggest, with your hair on fire, "OH my God, Rahm would NEVER do
such a thing!"--is incredibly bizarre.

We're staring down the face of a bought-and-paid for Congress that has
sold out "We The People" in order to enrich themselves and the
corporations that have purchased influence. It's not like we're
dealing with a bunch of Boy Scouts. The entire institution is
a petri dish of corruption.

I don't know what truly happened and neither do these people who
defiantly suggest that Rahm is a nice boy. The fact is, we don't know if
Rahm or other WH players pulled this trigger to get Massa's "no" vote
out of the mix.

But it certainly is a possibility and anyone who says it isn't even possible has
no credibility.

Anything is possible with these thugs.

[karynnj]

31. Long ago, I was told that most statements that said EVERY or NONE

were likely wrong. The fact is that you can't know this and in all likelihood there are MANY Senators and Congresspeople who have done nothing that could bring them down.

[Spazito]

27. You do know that there are an equal number of republicans on

the ethics committee, don't you? It is more likely one of them leaking to the media than a Democrat, is it not?

[Kalyke]

35. I do.

But, I know who the leak is, too.

And, yeah, by MY definition, he's not a Democrat... who cares what letter he has after his name.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

13. I have tickled and been tickled and although I am a very sexual person NEVER

considered it sexual behavior.

[Raineyb]

22. Neither have I. n/t

[asjr]

15. I hope somewhere there is a video of that!

[gratuitous]

18. Absolute, jaw-dropping, can't-believe-you're-seeing-it stare

Two people on the teevee, and the more sane-appearing one is Glenn (the extra "n" is for knowledge!) Beck.

[madmom]

19. Tickling someone till they can't breath is torture, IMO!

Is it ok to cover their face with a pillow, how about holding their head under water? What's the difference?

[Toasterlad]

20. What If You're Not Sexually Attracted To Them?

[Hell Hath No Fury]

24. Well then I am a sex offender.

I have tickled and been ticked by co-workers, both male and female, straight and gay. We've also jumped on each others backs, given each other neck massages, smacked each others heads, and even sat on each others laps. With that said, this is a small company and we are all close, so we feel confortable engaging in that kind of horseplay.

I am sorry, but I think your view on this is colored by your experience with your ex.

[RaleighNCDUer]

25. It would only be not sexual if the ticklee was your own child,

and even then so long as the child is a little kid - if a guy is tickling his 15 year old, watch out.

[LynneSin]

26. That is a slipperly slope that one crosses as a child gets older

I mean my father tickled me up until I was 14 (he passed away) but it was never nothing more than an attention getter and not until I couldn't breath anymore (like if I was hogging the sofa he'd tickle my feet).

[WadeG3]

29. Speaking as the person who gets tickled

A lot probably depends on context. I'm regrettably ticklish and used to work in an office where a couple of different women, with whom I was platonically friendly (we each had our own partners at home), thought it was greatly entertaining to tickle me, occasionally relentlessly (though never until I couldn't breathe, for crying out loud). It was an affectionate gesture but not, I don't think, a terribly flirtatious one; I never fancied that either one of them was wildly attracted to me, only that they delighted in bugging me in a harmless and (to them) amusing way.

That kind of thing has happened to me before... I always assumed it's part of the baggage that comes with being ticklish. (Of course there has also been tickling involving women with whom I DID have a sexual or flirtatious relationship.) A coworker at my current job recently discovered I'm ticklish thanks to some well-placed pokes at the copier, and from the gleeful look on her face when I reacted I'm guessing she too will revisit that hobby. But again, no romantic or sexual sparks there.

I think context was probably everything: the way Massa behaved before during and after the tickling, the kinds of jokes he made (fracking?) to and about his staffers... mix these up with tickling (especially of the out-of-breath variety) and you've got major (and probably actionable) inappropriateness.

[LynneSin]

30. Where I work, context can be a scary thing

and not even worth taking a chance with finding out if it is or is not appropriate. Don't get me wrong, tickles happen - I'm extremely ticklish so a bump or tap here or there that is accidental might result in a ticklish sensation. But if someone knows, they should do their best to avoid it. But mind you - I work for a big corporation, it's better to skip that kind of fun and avoid a trip to HR.

BTW, welcome to DU :hi:

[hunter]

32. I'd have dropped any boss who'd tried that with a Vulcan nerve pinch.

Or maybe I'd have simply broken his arm.

:scared:

I'm a little sensitive about that sort of thing.

Massa's stupid, twisted, and a bully too, hiding behind an officer's uniform, a wife and four kids.

Who's been protecting this guy? Or has he just stumbled through life like an evil twin of Forest Gump...

[Odin2005]

33. So my lady friend giving me the tickle torture is groping?

:eyes:

[Jennicut]

36. At the very least, between a boss and an employee it is inappropriate and non professional.

No boss of mine EVER laid a hand on me once. Tickling would have been bizarre and uncomfortable.