New College Graduates To Be Cryogenically Frozen Until Job Market Improves

[joeybee12]

WASHINGTON—In a bold new measure intended to address unemployment among young professionals, lawmakers from across the political spectrum agreed on legislation Tuesday to subsidize the cryogenic freezing of recent college graduates until the job market recovers.

Grads would be cryopreserved immediately after receiving their diplomas.
The bill, expected to swiftly pass in both houses, would facilitate the subzero preservation of any graduate of a two- or four-year educational institution. Sponsors of the initiative said that with the national unemployment rate at just under 10 percent, it only made sense for young job-seekers to temporarily enter a state of supercooled stasis.

"Finding employment is extremely difficult for today's college graduate," Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX) said. "Our current economy offers few options for the millions of young men and women desperate to join the workforce."

"Were we to freeze these graduates at the height of vigor and ambition, however, there's a chance we could revive them during a more prosperous time," Hutchinson continued. "When the economy finally bounces back—10, 20, even 30 years from now—we'll have an entire generation thawed out and ready to contribute."

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_college_graduates_to_be

[DavidDvorkin]

1. What a fantastic idea!

Sometimes I see a joke article in The Onion and wonder if reality can be far behind.

[joeybee12]

2. I know, it scares me how prophetic they might be! n/t

[eppur_se_muova]

3. That's just crazy enough to work! nt

:evilgrin: