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Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010) Donate to DU
 
fascisthunter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:12 PM
Original message
Whatever you do... love
I know this is an odd post of sorts, but you will begin to understand why I said what I did above. My father passed today suddenly. After picking my mother up from work, we both came home, unpacked some groceries, took off our coats, and then I decided to check in on my father who had been fighting a malignant brain tumor for six months. I opened his door, and there he lay motionless...

There have been countless times this past six months, that I would check up on him daily, when he would just lay with his eyes closed, and I would stare at his chest to make sure he was still breathing, almost as if I was subconsciously preparing my self for the inevitable. Well, this time, he wasn't breathing, yet his eyes were wide open. It never happens the way you anticipate... then again, not much in life or death does.

He was a gentle, kind, trustworthy man who worked his whole life, served this country and well, tried not to complain, asked for very little. We, his kids and my mother, were all that mattered to him. He was a good democrat who escaped communism as a child. He understood very well what it meant to be free, and what it meant to have honor as well as compassion.

I now know where I get my traits from, and so in a way, he lives on in me... I even copied a nickname he had given to his own dad, Macaroon. I too called my father the same thing.

So whatever you do, love, because life is very short. Never ever let anyone tell you, that your principles and honor are handicaps or that you are too idealistic... be yourself, and love others. I know I will... and hopefully I will be a portion of the man he was. That would make me proud, because he was a very good man.

So, good bye Macaroon, to the rest of you, good night.
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The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
1. Sorry to hear this my friend - and a kick for you
If you need to just talk sometime, shoot me a PM. Lost my mom in 2004 and know how hard it can be.
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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
2. My condolences...
Your tribute to him is very moving.
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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:16 PM
Response to Original message
3. So sorry.
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jaxx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:16 PM
Response to Original message
4. I am so sorry for your loss.
:hug:

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Dappleganger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:16 PM
Response to Original message
5. I am so sorry to hear this...
nothing hits you like the passing of a parent. I'm still struggling with the loss of my mother even from two years ago.

:hug:
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RagAss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:16 PM
Response to Original message
6. I'm sorry for your loss.
Beautiful post.
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samplegirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:17 PM
Original message
What a beautiful tribute to your dear dad
and I'm sure a part of him will live on daily through you. How beautiful.

My deepest sympathy to you and your mother.

May your father have peace.
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my2sense Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:17 PM
Response to Original message
7. Sorry to hear about your loss
It sounds like you had a wonderful, loving father. May he rest in peace.
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HipChick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:18 PM
Response to Original message
8. Sorry for your loss...
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LakeSamish706 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:20 PM
Response to Original message
9. I'm very sorry for your loss, even though your father was terminal it doesn't
make losing a loved one any easier when the time comes. Someone just the other day said to me that we will all be required to make that walk one day, and that doesn't seem to make it easier either. I hope that you have many loved ones around to help with this loss.
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me b zola Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:20 PM
Response to Original message
10. My condolences on your loss
:hug:
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cilla4progress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:23 PM
Response to Original message
11. What a beautiful post, and reminder,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care.
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gimama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:23 PM
Response to Original message
12. thank YOU for sharing this..
& YOU ~ & Your Dad~ are absolutely RIGHT..
"What EVER YOU DO..LOVE"!
YOU learned some mighty Lessons, from Your Dad..
A BEAUTIFUL Tribute to BOTH of You.
Sending YOU & Yours Love & Light~===]
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wtmusic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
13. Your tribute brings tears to my eyes.
Edited on Mon Mar-22-10 11:27 PM by wtmusic
Thanks for sharing. :thumbsup:
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Wilms Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:30 PM
Response to Original message
14. Thanks for hooking us up.
:hug:
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patrice Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:30 PM
Response to Original message
15. We will see our Loved Ones again, fascisthunter.
Om namah Shivaya!

:hug:
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:34 PM
Response to Original message
16. thank you. what an awesome tribute to your father
i appreciate hearing it. something for us all to take to heart.

take care of you and yours.
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DesertRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:34 PM
Response to Original message
17. I'm sorry for your loss
:hug:
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:35 PM
Response to Original message
18. so sorry
good night Macaroon
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Lex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:37 PM
Response to Original message
19. Beautiful tribute to your father.
My condolences to you, and all of us in this world, for the loss of your father.

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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:40 PM
Response to Original message
20. My dear friend. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I went through ten years of checking on my grandmother in her little bedroom. It is like practice but it's never enough practice.

:hug:
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 10:52 PM
Response to Original message
21. Love is always the great answer...
I am very sorry to hear about your beloved dad Macaroon...

Safe passage to him...

May your precious memories soon help you recover from this loss...

:hug:
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abq e streeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-22-10 11:20 PM
Response to Original message
22. Thank you for your generosity in sharing this...may his soul rest in peace
and may you and your family heal from your sadness with each others' love and support.
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Greyhound Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 12:25 AM
Response to Original message
23. So sorry for your loss.
Take care and we'll see you soon.


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laughingliberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 12:28 AM
Response to Original message
24. So sorry. Thank you for sharing your Dad's ideals with us here.
:cry:
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grahamhgreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 12:32 AM
Response to Original message
25. Thank you
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inna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 12:33 AM
Response to Original message
26. My deepest condolences...

:hug: :grouphug:

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The Midway Rebel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 12:35 AM
Response to Original message
27. Condolences n/t
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dana_b Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 12:36 AM
Response to Original message
28. my condolences
you have a beautiful way of speaking about your father. That is love.
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renate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 12:42 AM
Response to Original message
29. I am so sorry
He sounds like such a sweet and wonderful man. I would be so proud if my kids think of me the way that you think of him.

:hug:

It sounds like his passing was gentle. I hope you and your mother feel okay about the fact that he died while he was alone. If you read much about hospice, or about death and dying, you'll find that very often people will die, almost as if it's on purpose, while their loved ones are out of the room for just a minute, even after a vigil of hours to days... and that they tend to be the kind of nurturing, caregiving, unassuming types who want to spare their loved ones the pain of seeing their deaths. And from the way you describe him, as a loving man whose family came first, I wonder whether that might have been the case with him. No matter what, it sounds like his death was easeful.

I am so sorry for your loss.

:cry:
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fascisthunter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 10:16 AM
Response to Reply #29
33. yes... that sounds very much like him
thank you so much... I did not know this, and yes, I was up late last night thinking about his last lonely moments.
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Berry Cool Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 01:08 AM
Response to Original message
30. I'm so sorry, fascisthunter.
My condolences to you and to all who loved your father.
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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 01:12 AM
Response to Original message
31. I am so sorry. I wish I could hug you. You might want to tattoo that
name on your arm. My nephew tattooed a huge anchor on his back, my dad's name and his birth and death dates. I am going to get a tiny hummingbird for him and a tiny cardinal for my mother this summer. When you see it, it will comfort you. Your dad sounded like mine, a hero, an everyman, the backbone of this country. I wish only love back to you, my dear. I wish you peace.
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Judi Lynn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 04:12 AM
Response to Original message
32. You were lucky to have a father with strong, deep character. Not too many people can say that.
It's not surprising to learn your own father was an exceptional person. Your own values have distinguished you here from the very first.

Your friends, well-wishers will be thinking of and hoping for the best after this passage in your life. It surely sounds as if you are transforming your pain into positive energy.

Thank you for your reaching out to those who have followed your comments, appreciated your presence for a long time.
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nolabear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 10:19 AM
Response to Original message
34. Here's to Macaroon. What a good legacy love is.
Sorry for your loss but glad your dad raised you this way.
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fascisthunter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 10:22 AM
Response to Original message
35. thank you all, I won't forget your kindness
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Eyerish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 10:35 AM
Response to Original message
36. My deepest condolences fascisthunter...
Peace to You and your family....:hug:
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The Genealogist Donating Member (495 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 10:48 AM
Response to Original message
37. Does anything hurt more emotionally than losing a beloved parent?
It is rough, painful, and takes time to recover and realign yourself in the world when you loose a beloved parent. Please...if you do anything, please do all you can to pamper yourself. Take care of your mother, and tell her you love her dearly, every time you get a chance to. And, bask in the warm glow of memories of the good times with your father!

:hug:
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 11:35 AM
Response to Original message
38. .
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myrna minx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 11:37 AM
Response to Original message
39. I am so sorry for your loss.
:hug:
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Solomon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 11:57 AM
Response to Original message
40. Made me cry. I have elderly parents who are still here.
I feel guilty alot because there are times when I don't want to be bothered and I know how I'm going to feel when they're gone.

Peace to you, and thank you.
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gmoney Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 11:58 AM
Response to Original message
41. So sorry for your loss...
:hug:
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yellerpup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 02:53 PM
Response to Original message
42. His son is a good man, too.
So sorry for your loss.
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polly7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 05:10 PM
Response to Original message
43. I'm so sorry.
Strength and loving memories to you and yours.
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Bluerthanblue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 05:20 PM
Response to Original message
44. thank you...
for thinking of others even in your grief.

Your reminder of how fleeting and fragile our lives really are- and what is truly important is beautiful and sadly, ones we need to remember.

sending you and your family wishes for comfort, peace and healing~

blu
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reflection Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 05:29 PM
Response to Original message
45. I know how you feel
and I'm real sorry for the pain you're feeling right now.
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malaise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 05:32 PM
Response to Original message
46. Deepest sympathy to you and your family fascisthunter
In time your pain will be replaced by beautiful memories of time spent with your dad. :cry: :grouphug:
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timtom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 05:32 PM
Response to Original message
47. This has brought tears to my eyes.
Not for any loss of mine, but for your loss.

And your gentleness.

Thank you.
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Mnemosyne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 06:23 PM
Response to Original message
48. I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your Dad, fh.
:hug:
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Uncle Joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 06:32 PM
Response to Original message
49. I'm sorry for your loss but happy for the enrichment, your father gave you.
Peace to you, fascisthunter.:hug:
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OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 06:35 PM
Response to Original message
50. Bless you...

for sharing such a wonderful tribute. My sincere condolences on the passing of your father.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

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Starry Messenger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 06:45 PM
Response to Original message
51. .
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Delphinus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 07:17 PM
Response to Original message
52. Thank you for such a poignant reminder.
My condolences to you and your family. May your Father rest in peace.
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babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 09:39 PM
Response to Original message
53. What a lovely tribute; your dad is proud of you, and I just know
he loves you as much as you do him. That will never change. :hug:
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TeeYiYi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 09:49 PM
Response to Original message
54. I am so sorry for your loss.
What a beautiful tribute to your father.

TYY :hug:
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Synnical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 09:52 PM
Response to Original message
55. Ditto That
I lost a good friend yesterday to cancer. She was 54. Too young to die. I remember telling her I loved her the last time I saw her.

-Cindy in Fort Lauderdale
:cry:
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amborin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 10:03 PM
Response to Original message
56. i'm sorry for your loss
he sounded like a wonderful man; you were lucky to have him for a father
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Lyric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-23-10 10:05 PM
Response to Original message
57. *hugs* I'm so sorry.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-24-10 01:18 AM
Response to Original message
58. .
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