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Bill Maher's New Rule from tonight. One of his best....

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XOKCowboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 01:18 AM
Original message
Bill Maher's New Rule from tonight. One of his best....
I didn't get to see but he posted this on FaceBook and I'm posting it here. If this violates any DU rules then I invite any mods to delete it. It was just so priceless that I had to share. Enjoy.

New Rule: You can't use the statement "there will be no cooperation for the rest of the year" as a threat if there was no cooperation in the first half of the year. Here's a word the president should take out of his teleprompter: bipartisanship. People only care about that in theory, not in practice. The best thing that's happened this year is when President Obama finally realized this and said, "Kiss my black ass, we're going it alone, George W. Bush style."

Two months ago, conservative Fred Barnes wrote, "The health care bill is dead with not the slightest prospect of resurrection." Well, if it's dead, you just got your ass kicked by a zombie named Nancy Pelosi. Seriously, the last time a Democrat showed balls like that John Edwards' girlfriend was filming it. Make all the botox jokes and she-shops-too-much jokes you want, but this is the biggest political victory a woman has ever achieved in America. Yes, Nancy Pelosi likes nice clothes. So does Sarah Palin. The difference is Nancy Pelosi pays for hers.

But even before the Democrats got to take a single victory lap they were already being warned not to get used to the feeling, and not to get drunk with power. I disagree. All you Democrats: do a shot, and then do another. Get drunk on this feeling of not backing down and doing what you came to Washington to do.

Democrats should not listen to the people who are now saying they shouldn't attempt anything else big for a while because health care was such a bruising battle. Wrong -- because I learned something watching the lying bullies of the Right lose this one: when they're losing, they squeal like a pig. They kept saying things like, the bill was being "shoved down our throats" or the Democrats were "ramming it through." The bill was so big they couldn't take it all at once!

And I realized listening to this rhetoric that it reminded me of something: Tiger Woods' text messages to his mistress that were made public last week, where he said, and I quote, "I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you and make you sore. I want to hold you down and choke you while I fuck that ass that I own. Then I'm going to tell you to shut the fuck up while I slap your face and pull your hair for making noise." Unquote.

And this, I believe, perfectly represents the attitude Democrats should now have in their dealings with the Republican Party: "Shut the fuck up while I slap your face for making noise -- now pass a cap-and-trade law, you stupid bitch, and repeat after me: 'global warming is real!'"

The Democrats need to push the rest of their agenda while their boot is on the neck of the greedy, poisonous old reptile. Who cares if a cap-and-trade bill isn't popular, neither was health care. Your poll numbers may have descended a bit, but so did your testicles.

So don't stop: we need to regulate the banks, we need to overhaul immigration, we need to end corporate welfare including at the Pentagon, we need to bring troops home from... everywhere, we need to end the drug war, and we need to put terrorists and other human rights violators on trial in civilian courts, starting with Dick Cheney.

Democrats in America were put on earth to do one thing: drag the ignorant hillbilly half of this country into the next century, which in their case is the 19th -- and by passing health care, the Democrats saved their brand. A few months ago, Sarah Palin mockingly asked them, "How's that hopey-changey thing working out for ya?" Great, actually. Thanks for asking. And how's that whole Hooked on Phonics thing working out for you?


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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 01:26 AM
Response to Original message
1. Wow, he's saying it like it is.
I like it!

And I hope the Democratic leaders will hear or read this, and follow it. It's terrific!

Thank you for bringing this to our attention.


K&R


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XOKCowboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 01:39 AM
Response to Reply #1
5. My pleasure! I hate to say it but we have to start acting like Republicans
Or as Bill put it do it George W. Bush style.
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neobeetle Donating Member (183 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 01:32 AM
Response to Original message
2. Awesome
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DearAbby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 01:35 AM
Response to Original message
3. OH HELL YES!...............n/t
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misanthrope Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 01:38 AM
Response to Original message
4. But wouldn't the end of corporate welfare mean the repeal of the health care "reform?"**nm
**
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Initech Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 01:45 AM
Response to Original message
6. Maher has been batting 1.000 lately.
And I didn't think the panel would be good but they were pretty awesome. Even Rob Thomas was pretty hilarious at times.
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XOKCowboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 01:59 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. I didn't get to see the show. No HBO in my hotel room....
Hope to catch it on reruns next week when I'm home. I tend to agree with Bill most of the time even when he slams the left.
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jillan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 02:08 AM
Response to Original message
8. Wow wow wow! He knocked that one out of the park!
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XOKCowboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 02:22 AM
Response to Original message
9. I love this quote from his monologue also...
And finally, I love this: People will know this here in California, the ballot initiative to legalize marijuana has passed. It has passed state inspection, it will actually be on the ballot we will be able to vote for this on November 2nd. And if it passes we will be allowed to growlisten to thisyou can grow marijuana in the backyard of your house. Not a lot, just enough to stave off foreclosure.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
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bobburgster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 03:01 AM
Response to Original message
10. Bill Maher is spot on!
His advice should be followed by our democratic officials. The one thing they have to have learned is that no matter what bill they propose the reps will be against.
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B Calm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 05:47 AM
Response to Original message
11. E-mailing this to all my right wing contacts, LOL
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mucifer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 05:49 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. here's a link to the video if your right wing friends don't know how to read:
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XOKCowboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 11:40 AM
Response to Reply #12
14. Good. I was hoping a video would become available.
It's even better with visuals.
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malaise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-27-10 06:39 AM
Response to Original message
13. Excellent
Rec
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