U.S. Government To Save Billions By Cutting Wasteful Senator Program

[Ichingcarpenter]

WASHINGTON—In an effort to reduce wasteful spending and eliminate non-vital federal services, the U.S. government announced plans this week to cut its long-standing senator program, a move it says will help save more than $300 billion each year.

According to officials, the decision to cut the national legislative body was reached during a budget review meeting on Tuesday. After hours of deliberation, it was agreed that the cost of financing U.S. senators far outweighed the benefits they provided.

"Now more than ever, we must eliminate needless spending wherever possible," tPresident Obama said at a press conference Wednesday. "When we sat down to go over our annual budget, we asked ourselves, where can we safely trim back? What programs can we do away with without negatively impacting the American people? Which bloated and ineffective institutions can we no longer justify having around?"

"The answer was obvious," Obama added. "The U.S. Senate just needed to go."


In fact, the program has gone unchecked for so long that many in Washington are now unable to recall what purpose U.S. senators were originally meant to serve.

"I'm sure when it was first introduced the U.S. Senate seemed like a worthwhile public service that would aid vast segments of the population and play an important role in the years to come," said Sheila McKenzie, president of the watchdog group the American Center for Responsible Government. "But in reality, this program has been a complete and utter failure.

"It simply doesn't work," she added. "We've been pouring taxpayer dollars into this outdated relic for far too long."


Snip........


"Even just the space the Senate currently occupies could be put to better use," consumer advocate Michael Dodgerson said. "Were the government to open a day-care center, a homeless shelter, or even an affordable restaurant in that building, it would make more of a difference in the lives of everyday Americans than what's there now."

So far, reaction to the cutback has been overwhelming positive, with many across the country calling it a long-awaited step toward progress.

Still, a small pocket of the nation's populace vehemently disagreed with Tuesday's decision.

"This is outrageous," said Joe Lieberman, a Connecticut-area resident and concerned citizen who makes more than $150,000 a year, enjoys full health care benefits, and lives comfortably in a large, non-foreclosed home. "The U.S. Senate has always looked out for my best interests. It's always done right by me."

Added Lieberman, "Without it, I'll have no choice but to exploit my extensive connections in the real estate, legal, insurance, and pharmaceutical industries to obtain strictly honorary positions at large companies that, in exchange for my subservience over the years and the prestige of my name, will compensate me generously and allow me to continue living a privileged life without contributing even a moment of my time to the society that has made it all possible."


http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-government-to-save-billions-by-cutting-wasteful,17171/


LOL..... been saying that for years its an outdated institution and antidemocratic

[Hannah Bell]

1. rofl. +1000000 n/t

[Thothmes]

2. Obviously the author has never bothered to read

the Constitution of the United States.

[Selatius]

3. The Senate was purposely created to give less populace states disproportionate power.

Without the Senate, likely, the US Constitution would never have been ratified by the necessary number of states to go into effect.

One way to curb the Senate would be to pass public financing of federal campaigns that is competitive with the private avenue of raising cash. At least then, politicians would be less likely to feel beholden to the interests that donated the most money to their campaigns for office and would be freer to form their own opinions.

Having said that, though, I fully understand the thrust of the onion article, even if it's satire.

[dixiegrrrrl]

4. Ok..that was worth waking up too early.....

chuckle chuckle....

[Yuugal]

5. K&R