I have decided to run for the state legislature

[jmowreader]

I don't know whether it's going to be the state legislature of Washington or Idaho, but I'm running for legislature.

My campaign platform is very simple: I'm going to stimulate the economy of the state by raising taxes and spending money hand over fist.

On raising taxes: The only reason anyone would ever consider trying to stimulate the economy by raising taxes is it has worked every time it's been tried. Ronald Reagan's vaunted economic expansion didn't happen until he raised taxes in 1982. In fact, Reagan raised taxes FOUR TIMES during his presidency. He only cut them once. You hear about the big tax cut, and about the economic expansion, but they always fail to tell you about the four tax increases. But you know what? The expansion didn't start until after the first tax increase was passed. More recently, one of Bill Clinton's first big legislative initiatives was to raise taxes, and HE created 22 million new jobs. Tax increases work. They always have. So why not go back to them?

The money raised by increasing taxes will go into the second part of my economic plan: spending a shitload of Yankee Greenbacks on projects that will generate jobs and additional private-sector investment. I'll give you an example: The State of North Carolina is, right now, spending $25 million to build a fishing pier at Nags Head. Plenty of freepers are running for the state legislature and using that as an example of frivolous spending. In truth, this may have been the smartest thing they could have done to stimulate private investment around Nags Head. This one freeper says the pier is going in so Marc Basnight (speaker of the NC House) can fish off it. Well...if that was the case, the pier would create at least one new job: we could give Rod "He Hate Me" Smart a shotgun and tell him to stand on the pier and shoot anyone but Marc Basnight if they try to fish off it. Unfortunately, Rod is going to have to remain in his job as a high school counselor because they're going to let everyone fish on the pier. And what will happen then? People will build stores down there. They'll build restaurants. They'll put up hotels. They'll wash cars, clean fish so you don't have to do it, and sell gas so you can get home. This cheesy-ass $25 million investment (less than $3 for every NC resident) is going to throw off probably $20 million a year in direct economic benefit and create a couple hundred new jobs. That is how you create jobs with taxes. If you were to "give it back in tax cuts"? Three bucks won't even get you one of the cheap subs at Subway.

So...elect me. I'll raise your taxes, spend your money and YOU will be richer for it.

[Oregone]

1. Are you rich?

Do you have a powerful friend?

Are you willing to kill a prostitute?

[Fumesucker]

2. I'm reminded of what Adlai Stevenson told the woman who said...

Every thinking American would vote for him..

"Madam, we need a majority."

Seriously though, good luck or break a leg or whatever.