George Washington racks up late fees at NY library (220 years worth)

[underpants]

NEW YORK – If George Washington were alive today, he might face a hefty overdue library fine.

New York City's oldest library says one of its ledgers shows that the president has racked up 220 years' worth of late fees on two books he borrowed, but never returned.

One of the books was the "Law of Nations," which deals with international relations. The other was a volume of debates from Britain's House of Commons.

Both books were due on Nov. 2, 1789.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100417/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_george_washington_library_fines

[Gidney N Cloyd]

1. Cue Lt. Bookman:

BOOKMAN: Yeah, '71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries.

Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abby Hoffman

telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length of

his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But

you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public

Library, fella.

JERRY: Look, Mr. Bookman. I--I returned that book. I remember it very

specifically.

BOOKMAN: You're a comedian, you make people laugh.

JERRY: I try.

BOOKMAN: You think this is all a big joke, don't you?

JERRY: No, I don't.

BOOKMAN: I saw you on T.V. once; I remembered your name--from my list. I looked

it up. Sure enough, it checked out. You think because you're a celebrity

that somehow the law doesn't apply to you, that you're above the law?

JERRY: Certainly not.

BOOKMAN: Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp,

the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean

anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot.

Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before:

Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're

thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library

books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without

libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change

the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right

now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees

and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?

Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue

fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that

kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe

that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and

your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time

is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!

[underpants]

2. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zePQavforA