Please give me feed back. I'm seething at this e-mail I received

[donheld]

Subject: Birds and poop

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with
seed.
>Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the
continuous
>flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started
>building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next
to the
>barbecue.
>Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs,
the
>table...everywhere. Then some of the birds turned mean: They would
dive
>bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own
pocket.
>And others birds were boisterous and loud: They sat on the feeder and
>squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded
that I
>fill it when it got low on food.
>After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. I
took
>down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned
up
>their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the
patio.
>Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quite, serene and no one
>demanding their rights to a free meal.
>Now let's see . . . our government gives out free food, subsidized
housing,
>free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be a
>automatic citizen.
>Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes
went up
>to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families: you
have
>to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: your child's
2nd
>grade class is behind other schools because over half the class
doesn't
>speak English.
>Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to hear
my
>bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than "Old
Glory"
>are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and
free
>liberties. Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird
feeder.
> "No child left behind"
>~ by Special Ed

[RedCappedBandit]

1. Not worth a response

the idiot is comparing humans to birds.


Of course, a logical human might call whoever wrote that garbage a birdbrain :silly:

[alittlelark]

2. The birdbrain that sent this to you is using

a 'strawman argument' variation. There are no legitimate corollaries... the comparison is moot.

[Maru Kitteh]

3. Tell them to errect scarecrows on the border, it will save us all so much

money on the fence!

[mnhtnbb]

18. LOL! Best reponse.

[Make7]

4. I wonder...

If the government stopped giving money to all those corporations, do you think they would stop "pooping" all over America?

- Make7

[Redbear]

5. Very simple response

If you seriously want to live in a country where immigration into your country isn't an issue, may I suggest Iraq.

[donheld]

9. My response was

This is probably one of the most hateful e-mails I've received in quite awhile. Hardly the thing Jesus would have sent out. I know many many mexican and other latino workers, I have no idea if they are legal or not, nor do i care. These people work very hard for very little. If I have to shell out a few extra bucks to get them medicine or to teach them reading, writing, and arithmatic then so be it. Seems like you christians would take this opportunity to tell them about Jesus rather than spew out the utter hatred like this. We really need to give the Statue of Liberty back to France. It says on it something we no longer believe.



Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

[union_maid]

6. These people must be idiots

Most incompetent implementation of a bird feeder EVER. Must be part of the Bush administration.

[MazeRat7]

7. Good thing he took it down.. apparently he knows nothing about building a bird "community"...

Not to mention I doubt the story is even true and if so all that is needed is one example to prove it can be done.
Point in case...I have 5 feeders in my backyard alone and none of those problems at all with my birds. So obviously he does not know how to manage "bird immigration". ;)

MZr7

[Mabus]

8. So he intices the birds with food and then complains when they come to enjoy it?

Was he hanging out the bird feeder to actually welcome the birds or just to taunt them? What an ass.

As for comparing birds to people, it is a poor analogy unless you consider that Americans continue to hire illegal aliens without worrying about where they stay, how they live or what they eat. Like the asshole in the e-mail, Americans have wanted to add things to their homes that make it more attractive and useful to themselves but then they complain about the very thing they wanted to attract: good, cheap labor.

[Bucky]

10. Until he got to the "free lunch" line, I assumed he was talking about Iraq contractors

My favorite line there, by the way, was "and allows anyone born here to be a automatic citizen."

Nice try, Adolf.

[NanceGreggs]

11. A response - for what it's worth ...

Oh, my God, this is just so cute - what a great way to try and describe the so-called "threat" of immigration for people who are really stupid. (Does this come in a coloring book version? Are the crayons extra?)

I just loved the bird analogy! So many people would start reading this and think about the beautiful plumage of various birds flocking to their backyards, not to mention the variation of whistles and songs that would fill the air on a summer's morning - but this got right to the point about how truly nasty that kind of thing can be.

"Then came the poop." Don't you just adore someone who can turn a phrase like that? What a perfect blend of phantasmagorical imagery and modern, free-form, stream-of-consciousness blathering -- sort of a cross between Chaucer and Sesame Street, n'est pas?

And yet it captures the soul of the immigration experience as seen through the eyes of the masses - because, as we all know, that's what immigrants do the minute they arrive. They don't work, they don't try to make a better life for themselves or their families; they simply start pooping on our patios, and our sacred barbecues.

Just last week, a neighbor of mine found immigrant poop floating in her outdoor hot-tub - poor woman, I don't think she'll ever truly recover. She can't prove it, but she suspects it was one of her own - you know, either the nanny, the housekeeper, or the gardener. They're all wetbacks, but she pays them all two dollars an hour and gives them one day a month off, so you'd think some sort of loyalty would prevail out of sheer gratitude.

I have to say I was shocked and awed to learn that our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education to these people. Given that almost half of our tax dollars are currently being spent killing people in Iraq, one immediately realizes that there aren't available funds to house or educate anyone any more, US citizen or otherwise. So why should those people get FREE everything? (Could you possibly provide the statistics on all of this free stuff, so I can be specific when I complain to my congressman?)

"Imagine having to wait six hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor, or your child's 2nd grade class being behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English." I am so glad you brought this to my attention. All along I was under the obviously false impression that such things were due to millions of Americans having no health insurance, and the fact that our educational system is under-funded -- thanks for setting me straight. I just knew those immigrants were behind this catastrophe all along!

"Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to hear
my bank talk to me in English." Oh, the humanity! Having to "press one" - is there no end to the madness?

As for the fact that our current system allows anyone born here to be a
automatic citizen, I really must protest. It is imperative that these kinds of "loopholes" are done away with as quickly as possible. I would suggest that American citizenship only be granted to non-immigrants and those descended from non-immigrants. Everyone else should be denied citizenship and immediately deported to the country of their ancestors' origin.

So when are you leaving, and where will you be deported to? Please drop me a line and let me know. I cherish your friendship, and will be truly devastated by your absence. But on the brighter side, at least you won't be pooping on my patio any longer - for which I am truly grateful.

[donheld]

12. NanceGreggs, I may use that

It's great! :toast:

[Hissyspit]

15. Here's my version:

"What you have there is a really STUPID analogy. A STUPID person must have sent it."

NOTE: I only have to be diplomatic and civil with my students. Everyone else be forewarned, I don't suffer fools gladly.

[Political_Junkie]

13. Awesome!

NanceGreggs, :yourock:

[classof56]

16. Brilliant, Nance! You are awesome.

Been meaning to tell you that for a long time. Keep blessing us DUers with your words!

Tired Old Cynic

[Dawgs]

17. Nance - Your last two paragraphs are all that is needed.

I love it.

[gollygee]

21. ROFL ! That is CLASSIC

great response!

[Kadie]

23. LMAO!

That was FANTASTIC!

:applause:

[dddem]

14. Let me guess

they were blackbirds, right?
grr.
I hate stupid people.

[Babsbrain]

19. I guess I am the only one

who thinks it's time to take down the bird feeder

[Richard Steele]

20. So, you actually believe the "bird feeder" exists?

You really think immigrants are being handed free EVERYTHING somewhere, somehow?

You think they aren't doing any work whatsoever in return
for what litle they really do get, is that right?
Not keeping our economy propped up on their backs at all?

[donheld]

27. Sadly no you are not the only one

There are far too many who think like you do.

[EstimatedProphet]

22. And the answer is so simple...

DON'T PUT THE BIRD FEEDER ON THE PORCH, IDIOT!

Similarly, the answer to the immigration problem is simple too:

DON'T USE US CORPORATIONS AND POLICIES TO MAKE EVERYONE ELSE A THRID WORLD COUNTRY, IDIOT!

If you don't want people coming into the country in droves, then you do what you would do with the bird feeder - YOU MOVE IT! In the one case, you move the feeder to the yard, where the birds would live anyway. In the other case, you move the feeder to where immigrants already live, by allowing them to build their own economy that works for their benefit, and not Chiquita Inc. If people really want the immigrants to stay home, then why set them up to risk everything they have to move here by manipulating thier economy and politics so that they remain peons if they stay?

[Beausoleil]

24. Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder

They can do that by doing something about all the ILLEGAL EMPLOYERS!

I am not anti-immigrant and anyone who is is ignorant of what it means to be an "American", but people come here illegally for opportunity, not to sponge. The abuse by employers who hire illegals is the real problem to be dealt with. When it comes down to it, allowing employers to hire illegal immigrants amounts to another tax cut for business, not a tax hike for you and me. Of course in our "tax cut" economy, we make up the difference.

[emald]

25. we all know that birds and humans are soooooo alike

this was probably written by some xristian, praising jazuz while lashing with the whip. sickening. terrifying really. and ugly.

[Buzz Clik]

26. I liked NanceGregg's reply, but consider the author of the email:

Special Ed.

It seems to me that, given the name "Special Ed", the author is pulling our leg.