This thread
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x8207197#8207227Hit home how serious the psychological trauma of unemployment and the potential lack of self worth, independence, dignity, autonomy, hope & purpose that comes with it can be. I have heard several british people worry about the same thing we do, about the slipping away of their country as a decent, secure place to live with a future.
I'm unemployed, and I feel really ashamed by it. Not only that, but I feel guilty collecting unemployment insurance. I never felt guilty collecting subsidies for education though. When you add in all the K-12 plus state/federal funding for college I got, I received about 120k in education funding from the government (maybe 70k for K-12 and another 50k for college). I never felt guilty for that. Maybe I didn't consider that 'welfare'. But what the hell is wrong with us? Have right wing talking points seeped so deep into my subconscious that I believe them deep down inside and think I am just lazy?
This is the true nature of oppression. When you get people to oppress themselves, nobody else has to do it for them. A public that will spy on and punish themselves do not need an external oppressor. I try to remind myself, I didn't collapse the economy. Before this happened, I had a decent contract job, and there was an opening for a full time position at my old job. Then when the economy collapsed, the full time opening was eliminated before it was filled, and my contract was cut short. I was gainfully employed, paying taxes, I liked my job, I liked working there, and I lost it.
And even though I do feel shame and guilt, I realize the people who actually collapsed the economy do not feel any. In fact, they are gearing up to lobby to block legislation designed to stop their kinds of antics from happening again.
This is hard to explain, but the best metaphor is being a sexual assault victim. You descend so far into self hatred and shame that you lose contact with the fact that you didn't do anything wrong. Your assailant, who doesn't feel any guilt, did something wrong. And while you are at home beating yourself up, they are out doing it again and again.
I didn't destroy 8 million full time jobs, and destroy the equivalent of another 3 million by cutting full timers down to part time. Had that not happened, I'd still have a job. And even if my contract had expired, I'm sure I could've gotten another position far easier had this recession not happened. Add in the fact that we need to create 120k or so a month just to keep up, and add in the fact that no net jobs were created from 2000-2010, and we are fucked. We are probably 20-40 million jobs short in this country. In 2000 we had 280 million people and 132 million jobs. In 2010 we have 315 million people and 129 million jobs.
And it is weird processing all the emotions. I feel shame and guilt for being unemployed, but I also feel upset that I feel shame and guilt in the first place, since I didn't do anything wrong. The people who actually did something wrong are still out doing wrong things while I sit at home and feel bad about myself.
Or take unemployment insurance. If you give 10 million people $300 a week in unemployment aid, that is $3 billion a week, roughly $13 billion a month. That is roughly the cost of the war in Iraq. So the unemployment aid that helps millions live with slightly more security and dignity costs as much as the war in Iraq.
But
1. The war in Iraq hurts people. Nobody is really hurt by UI. People are helped by UI because it helps stop foreclosures, repos, starvation. Nobody develops traumatic injuries due to the unemployment assistance.
2. UI does far more to grow the economy than the Iraq war. I think a dollar devoted to UI and subsidies for the struggling creates 2x more GDP growth than a dollar devoted to military affairs. Military affairs overseas (vs domestic bases) probably see even lower GDP growth. I wouldn't be surprised if every dollar going to UI creates 3x more GDP growth than the war in Iraq.
So people badmouth unemployment insurance, but $300/wk to 10 million people is the same cost as the Iraq war. Not only that, but it does far more to grow the economy, it helps people rather than hurts them, and it is a far more humane way to spend $13 billion a month. Spending that money giving $300/wk to 10 million people is far better than an unnecessary war. And I still feel ashamed for collecting it.
I have all these contradictory emotions inside me. I feel ashamed for being unemployed, but angry because I realize it wasn't my fault (I liked my job before they let me go). And I feel angry for even being ashamed sometimes, I realize the people truly at fault don't feel any remorse about any of this.
How long is this sustainable (screwing those at the bottom, telling them to suck it up and blame themselves when they are fucked)? I am not perfect, but in the last few months I have felt myself go from ashamed to more angry. I still feel ashamed, but there is more anger in there now.
A lot of us have to adjust to having lower prospects for independence, autonomy and security that aren't going away any time soon. Things don't feel like they are getting better, and people will only erroneously blame themselves for so long.
Are people supposed to just pick up and go back to the way things were back in 2005 when this is all over? This seems like an event that could change our consciousness paradigm.