Question regarding discussion I had about equality for lgbt folks....

[Green_Lantern]

I was talking to a guy today about hoping gay people are no longer treated like second class citizens and he said "don't get me started on the gays."

Am I safe in assuming him calling them "the gays" means he views them negatively?

Hearing someone say "the gays" hit me right in the gut.

[Beer Snob-50]

1. i think i would need to know how it was said

i have used the term "the gays" in a sarcastic way when i am talking with my like minded friends

[Jamastiene]

2. Straight up ask him.

That would be the best way to find out. I've done that. When I hear someone say something to that effect, I always straight up ask them what they mean by that.

You might not always like the answer, but it lets you know where they stand without any doubts.

[dmr]

3. Rachel Maddow sometimes uses the term 'the gays', but I think

she usually uses it when making fun of those who have problems with 'the gays'.

Taking it in context, it's probably is easier on her sanity to poke fun of, or discredit the homophobes than it is for her to get angry, or show her pain.

To Rachel and all others :hug:

[pnwmom]

4. I think you're right. Just as if he said, "Don't get me started on the blacks."

You know anything else that comes out of that person's mouth will be vile.

[Toasterlad]

5. How Could We Possibly Know What He Meant?

You haven't told us anything at all about him.

[Green_Lantern]

7. well the rest of the conversation..

Involved him bashing Obama as a Socialist. He is a self described Republican.

[Toasterlad]

8. Well, There You Go.

Of COURSE he meant it negatively.

[Prism]

6. Don't assume

"The gays" has become so widely disseminated in culture, you can't read positive or negative intent without knowing further context.

I use the phrase all the time, usually as part of wry comments, but sometimes just as shorthand.

Edited to add: Also, I sometimes hear it from older folk who are generally expressing harmless sentiment. My mom, for example, always tells me "what the gays are up to" and I know her intent isn't negative.

It's admittedly a weird little phrase.

[Green_Lantern]

10. this guy is young though...early 30s...

I can understand if he was in his 70s saying "the gays" but not at 30.

[Odin2005]

9. Whenever somebody say "THE Gays" or "THE Blacks" I assume the person is a bigot.

[jesus_of_suburbia]

11. It's all context.

I could imagine someone like Kathy Griffin saying... "you know I love the gays!"

Usually though, you are correct.


As with most things (but not all), nothing is definite.