What, exactly, is the purpose of a Republican debate?

[jmowreader]

They're all against abortion.

They're all in favor of extending the war.

They all want to be the Second Coming of Ronald Reagan.

And they're not going to ask any of them the substantive questions that might actually distinguish them--Giuliani's Mafia connections and marital misconduct; Romney's power grab attempts and flip-flopping; whether McCain's trip to the most dangerous place in Baghdad to "prove" Baghdad is so safe Americans can just wander aimlessly any time they feel like it...They won't even ask light, fluffy personal interest questions like, "Mr. Giuliani, pResident Bush has set a precedent of wearing colorful costumes from nations he visits. Given this, and given your...okay, fuck it, given the fact that you like to dress up like a woman on occasion, even though you look like shit when you do...are you going to make any foreign leaders who come to America bring their own dresses and wigs, or will the White House provide them? And do you think this will encourage or discourage foreign leaders from visiting the United States if we fuck up and let you in office?"

So, basically, why in hell are we holding Republican debates?

A Republican debate could be entertaining if they'd let Keith Olbermann moderate it. "Speaker Gingrich: The first time you had an affair during your time in the House of Representatives, so far as we know, you'd only let her give you oral sex so you couldn't be charged with adultery if your wife ever found out. Since you believe that blowjobs don't count, how in hell could you justify impeaching President Clinton for lying about sex when you don't consider the kind of sex he had to be sex at all?"

[GreenTea]

1. To bring Ronald Reagan back from the dead! The lying, union busting...

corporation deregulating, phony tough guy, poor hating, imperialist, fascist, insane Ronald Reagan...Because their newer idiot puppet, King George is about to be out of office no later than 20 month's from now.

And the Democrat's want to make it sooner. YES!

IMPEACH BUSH!

[Bluebear]

2. To determine which one we want to have a beer with.

Which is the only voting criteria for that side, evidentement.

[Kutjara]

3. It's sort of a "Miss America" pageant for fascists.

Each one is eager to prove that he's the bestest, shiniest, prettiest ubercreep there is.

[gratuitous]

4. Not to be indelicate

But to see who can skull-fuck the rotting corpse of Ronald Reagan longest and best.

[TwilightGardener]

7. Don't be shy--tell us what you're REALLY thinking, LOL!

Edit to add: You lived up to your screen name on that one!

[BurtWorm]

5. Same reason to watch a plate-spinning act.

To see which of those wound-up crackers with a stick up their bottoms is going to fall and crash.

[Blue-Jay]

13. Plate-spinning doesn't work without "Sabre Dance" in the background.

[BurtWorm]

14. That would certainly liven up any Republican debate.

:think:

[Blue-Jay]

16. I'm thinking...

"Baby Elephant Walk", or perhaps "Yakkity Sax".

Pure comedy!

[CK_John]

6. Just to pretend they have a "public" selection process. When they

really have a meeting of selected CEO's to present us with the chimp.

[leftofthedial]

8. it's an excuse for a multi-day ronnie raygun infomercial

[Solly Mack]

9. it really was a seance

[va4wilderness]

10. To crown the inevitable successor of King W ...

after martial law is declared.

[Old and In the Way]

11. To see who is capable of pandering to the bottom 25% ofthe voters,

And who can suck up best to the Religious Taliban -Mullahs Dobson, Robertson, and Falwell.

Judging by last night's debate, they all (except Paul) seem to be equally willing and qualified to carry Bush's torch back into the Dark Ages.

[nealmhughes]

12. Their corporate masters expect a little dog and pony show now and then for their $.

But how long can G3 (God, guns and gays) be beaten into our heads?

Oh, I forgot, It's G3+T now (G3 + Terrorism), since they will be crossing the Atlantic any day now. . . or is it easier to invade thru India/Pakistan and take the Pacific route? One supposes that 5 billion Chinese and Indians might get in the way, so it's bound to be the long way: thru Africa, then across the Atlantic.

[rug]

15. Some want a timetable to eliminate the capital gains tax.

Others want to end it now.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

17. Idiotainment.