Leno sure sucked at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

[Webster Green]

Has the man ever uttered anything even remotely humorous? :eyes:

[lib2DaBone]

1. I was hoping for more.. but Leno Sucked Canal Water.....

[Rex]

2. No.

I'm sure they wanted someone predictable and no chance of spontaneity (might be bad PR wise).

[UTUSN]

3. Hear hear, the suckiest of anybody anytime. slIMUS was the most vicious,

COLBERT the best, funniest, & most piercing.

[Webster Green]

4. Colbert was great.

Now that was fun to watch.

[eShirl]

10. agreed; think I'll watch it again...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-869183917758574879#

[Enthusiast]

38. Thanks, I had forgotten

just how good that was. Bush appeared to have been drinking.

[Mojambo]

5. Leno sucks everywhere. n/t

[glinda]

26. I agree.

[Nye Bevan]

6. Yes.

“President Bush announced he plans to help out homeowners in this mortgage-lending crisis thing that’s going on. He said millions of people could lose their house, and you know, he knows what he’s talking about. Last November he lost a house and the Senate.”

“Bush is upset, very upset that the Iraqi parliament has failed any major legislation since taking office. I guess, of course, on the other hand, it made him feel right at home.”

The White House announced President Bush is on the last page of the Harry Potter book. So, apparently, he's reading it backwards.

President Bush welcomed the prime minster of India to the White House today. Bush said, "While you're here, can you look at my computer for a second?"

One of the big problems in Iraq right now is agreeing on a constitution. They should do what the Bush administration does: Have a constitution, but just don’t use it.

Happy Birthday to U.S. President Bush, he’s 59. If you haven’t gotten him a birthday gift yet, I know he’s still looking for an exit strategy for Iraq.

U.S. President Bush met with Palestinian president Abbas. There was one embarrassing moment when he said to Abbas, “I love your hit, Dancing Queen.”

President Bush said he was anxious to see the film though he was a little upset when he heard it was in Aramaic and Latin. Bush said "Why make a movie only Arabs and Latinos would understand?"

According to a new poll, if the election were held today both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat George Bush by double-digit margins. In fact, the White House is so worried they're thinking about moving the capture of Osama bin Laden up to next month.

President Bush is now focusing on jobs. I think the one job he's focusing most on ... his own.

Some sad news, President Bush's lap dog passed away. I didn't know Tony Blair was sick. I was shocked.

President Bush was on Meet The Press Sunday, a lot of his White House staffers thought it was a bad idea …"Hey…better than him going on Jeopardy"…Be honest…He didn't seem very well prepared…actually there was a reason he wasn't prepared, see Bush thought he was just gonna to meet the press, he didn't know there was gonna be questions….There was one kind of embarrassing moment where President Bush was asked if he was ever AWOL?" and he said "No no no I have Earthlink…we use Earthlink, can't get AOL"

The Bush administration says it will file a brief with the Supreme Court over the University of Michigan's affirmative action policy, saying it's wrong to determine acceptance based on race. Bush said acceptance should be based on fair things like what private school you went to, who's your dad, how much money you gave to the alumni fund."

"President Bush has declared Sunday to be National Sanctity of Human Life Day. He said we have to protect the weak, the imperfect and the unwanted. But first, we have to give tax cuts to the rich."

This Sunday, President Bush will be at the Daytona 500 for the start of NASCAR season. President Bush is a big fan of NASCAR. Bush says if it weren't for NASCAR, man never would have stepped foot on the moon. Finally, somebody said, "Uh, sir ... that's NASA."

A Newsweek poll said if the election were held today, John Kerry would beat Bush 49 percent to 46 percent. And today, President Bush called Newsweek magazine a threat to world peace." -

Today President Bush said he was "troubled" by gay people getting married in San Francisco. He said on important issues like this, the people should make the decision, not judges - unless of course we're choosing a president, then he prefers judges.

I was watching TV last night and I saw an interesting documentary on TV last night about the ninja - you know, the Japanese soldiers. According to the legend, the ninjas were warriors who could make themselves invisible whenever we fought in a war. You know, kinda like George Bush in the National Guard.

In his annual economic report to Congress President Bush said that the transfer of American jobs overseas is actually part of a positive transformation that will enrich the U.S. economy over time. So basically, losing your job to someone else can be a good thing - of course we'll see how he feels about that in November.

Happy President's Day everybody! Today of course is the day we honor our presidents. We honor Bill Clinton by having a mattress sale, and as most people don't have to work today, we honor George Bush.

Earlier today President Bush spent some time with National Guard troops in Louisiana. When Bush arrived, the commanding officer said, "You're a little late."

A retired Alabama National Guard commander says he remembers President Bush showing up there for duty back in the seventies. He says Bush used to come into his office and read. However, payment records released by the White House suggest that was not President Bush. Hey, the fact the guy was reading I think suggests it wasn't president Bush.

Yesterday President Bush stopped off at a bass pro fishing store to pick up a fishing reel, some line and some rubber worms. He's going to disappear and go fishing. So he must think he's back in the National Guard again.

Does this bother a lot of people? Who cares if Bush did his job in the National Guard 30 years ago - I'm more frightened about the job he's doing now.

Today in the L.A. Times, one critic wrote that the problem with John Kerry is "he looks like he thinks too much." Well, you won't hear anyone accusing President Bush of that.

[Webster Green]

9. How did you come up with all that so quickly?

I must admit, some of those are pretty good.

I guess I missed a lot since I tried to watch him long ago and just gave up.

[Nye Bevan]

42. I found it on the internet a while ago

while responding to a DUer who was accusing Leno of being a right-wing tool. I've always found his jokes to be pretty funny and equal opportunity, though I know that the trendy thing on DU is to slam Leno and praise Letterman/Colbert etc.

[mockmonkey]

7. Leno?

I guess Rich Little was too edgy for them?

[Toucano]

8. That's what Leno does.

Suck, I mean.

[liberalla]

11. I was underwhelmed by both Leno and the Pres.

I was hoping for another zinger like last year, but it was lacking.

edit to add: The timing was off. There was no 'flow'...

[itsrobert]

17. Wow, I got slammed for that opinion

and just now been called a freeper. I agree with your sentiment.

[liberalla]

40. Wow, I went and looked for those comments, and I see what

you mean!

I replayed it - he was off his game. He seemed distracted, like his mind was elsewhere. AND, I think I know why. He was receiving updates on the Times Square bomb plot during the dinner.

Normally when he does these things where he tells jokes and stuff, he's great. You can see that he's relaxed and enjoying himself. He wasn't like that that last night. I think it was due to the attempted bombing in NYC.

[Whisp]

28. I loved the one Obama told about Massy crying about Rahm

naked and screaming at him in the locker room. and Obama says: Welcome to my world.
for some reason that just cracked me up.

[liberalla]

39. To be sure, there were some goodt ones - but it looked like his

mind was elsewhere. He seemed distracted --- which he could have been. (I have since read that he was receiving updates on the Times Square attempted bombing, during the event.)

I liked the one about the secret inclusions in the Health Care bill... he gave several, one of which was specific for short term memory loss for Massachusetts. He said it was for Mitt. I missed it completely when he said it, but I replayed it with text on.

[pipoman]

12. Back in the late 70's when every punchline

was a poke at his own gynormous horse face. Around 1981 he decided he was too big of star to practice self-defecating humor...hasn't uttered a funny thing since..

[bridgit]

13. He totally did, and his engineer guy couldn't hit a single mark in-sync

:thumbsdown:

[City Lights]

14. Some things never change.

And, no, Leno has never said anything funny. :thumbsdown:

[blogslut]

15. To be fair

Those reporters are a terrible audience. I've yet to see one of these dinners where any of the "professional" comedians were able to get more that a few titters out of the crowd. Colbert was amazing but his bit was more biting satire than a straight-up comedy routine and as I recall, that crowd despised him because they were his bloody target. The only standup I've seen that was able to break through the ice wall was John Hodgman at the Radio and Television correspondent's dinner.

But yeah, Leno sucked more than almost all the past acts, even Rich Little.

[bridgit]

16. That I do agree with - they were like trapped quislings waiting for the bell to ring

[jillan]

18. When he made the joke about Obama's hair turning gray because of his mother in law moving in - I had

a feeling he would be pretty lame. Hasn't every mother-in-law moving in joke been already told?

[Parker CA]

19. He sucked big time, especially considering how good Wanda Sykes was last year.

[rhett o rick]

31. Wanda is my favorite. nm

[FlaGatorJD]

20. Dude, i am totally with you

got nuthin funny here

[FlaGatorJD]

21. He has never been funny . . . ever. . .

funnly looking . . perhaps .
funny . . . .never . . . ever . .:think:

[ChicagoSuz219]

22. He was surprisingly awful...

It was like watching someone's first performance at an Open mic!

The Prez, on the other hand, rocked the house!!

[madmax]

23. No one will ever compare to Colbert!!! nt

[Iggo]

24. That sentence is too long.

Lose the prepositional phrase.

[Webster Green]

29. It's too late.

I'm fucked! ;(

[The Damned]

25. Are you trying to imply that this idiot was EVER funny???

Now THAT's funny!!!!! :rofl:

[Whisp]

27. he still does the same mother in law joke fercripessakes.

he was waaaaay off tonight. I usually can't stand him but he was extra super pathetic tonight.

[TuxedoKat]

30. Why did he make that joke about kids?

Turning in slacker kids for high-performing kids, that was not funny at all. I missed the first part of it so I didn't know why he was doing that. Michelle looked uncomfortable at that joke as was I. They need to invite Jon Stewart next year.

[myrna minx]

37. That was just awful.

I thought that *gag* was in horrible taste.

[Johonny]

32. yes he was once funny

So was Rich Little once too. It was probably more cruel to roll out Little than Leno, but I'd say both their acts are past their prime by decades.

[Adsos Letter]

33. It sounded to me like he had a couple too many prior to taking the podium.

flushed cheeks and all.

[Lint Head]

34. When has he not ever sucked?

[Rincewind]

35. Was Leno sick?

I mean, that was the first time in 16 years he didn't make a joke about Bill Clinton's penis.

[RoyGBiv]

36. Leno is a mountain of suck ...

... or a suck vortex. Wherever he is, suckage follows him.

He is the the King of Suck.

[mwb970]

41. Next time, try Jimmy Fallon.

He's actually, you know, funny.

[Bluenorthwest]

43. Leno is the choice of Conservative administrations

They are done with Wanda and Steven and all of that. Too dangerous! Leno is the pablum perfect for the Obamas. Did Donnie McClurkin say the prayers or Rick Warren?

[Dorian Gray]

44. Nope....

can't stand the man.