Five fun ways to obliterate all hope, By Mark Morford

[madokie]

Five fun ways to obliterate all hope
By Mark Morford

Feeling despondent? Peevish? A little vengeful? Sick of all those perkyhappy people swarming around you, what with their annoying smiles and feelings of general optimism for no goddamn reason because Jesus, don't they know the world is packed like a hysterical nail gun with fear and shrapnel and pain? Want to lose a few friends and feel even more miserable and alone? Excellent.

Here is something you can do.

Just send your cheerful, soon-to-be-ex pals the link to any of the following stories. Be sure to endorse it enthusiastically, something along the lines of "Hey! This awesome story totally made me think of you!" or "Hi mom! Just sending you a note of love, despite all the guilt and the beatings and those times you let dad snuff out his cigarettes in my eyeballs. Enjoy this funny news item about cute little ducks!"

Any one of these stories is enough to crush a good mood for at least a day. But mix and match and stack them together, and -- sweet Jesus swimming in the worst oil spill in a generation -- you can obliterate someone's perky spirit for at least a week, inspire numerous depressing Facebook status updates, and increase alcoholism rates across the board. Really, who needs friends? ...

(click here to read the rest)

(Full URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2010/05/05/notes050510.DTL&nl=fix)

[Delphinus]

1. He did well.

Good job, Mark Morford - and you only touched the top of the iceberg.

[woo me with science]

2. Well now I want to kill myself. nt

[LiberalLoner]

3. I'm just hoping I will die in the next decade or two. Shrug. n/t

[madokie]

4. Hell at the rate we're going

That very well may be the case with many of us :-)

[Tsiyu]

5. K & R

Dude can always make me laugh


:toast: here's to you this morning, Mr. Morford :beer:

I don't drink, though... hmmm..... :smoke: