Is teaching children hate, Child Abuse?

[AnArmyVeteran]

I'm not trying to advocate passing any laws or intruding into anyone's family lives, but when parents teach their children hate, racism or homophobia (to mention just a few) isn't that child abuse? Racists seem to come from racist parents. It seems to be flaw passed down from one racist generation to another. But doesn't teaching a child hatred in any form forever harm them? And when they grow up they teach their children the same defective traits. We can easily see countless examples of the victims of their hatred.

I know as long as there is more than one person left on earth there will be disagreements. But why is there so much hatred in the world today? And what mystifies me most is the absolute intolerance from fundamentalist, conservative Christians. They seem to judge, condemn and hate more than any other demographic. What kind of 'God' do they believe in that drives them to act the opposite of everything Jesus taught?

[KonaKane]

1. I think it is...however,

Making it legally binding would probably be a hopeless task. Child abuse is legally defined as:

....an act, or failure to act, on the part of a parent or caretaker that results in the death, serious physical or emotional harm, Sexual Abuse, or exploitation of a child, or which places the child in an imminent risk of serious harm (42 U.S.C.A. § 5106g)

While I certainly think that poisoning a kids mind with racism rises to the bar of "imminent risk of emotional harm", I can see court case after court case in which it is defended in the same realm as being free to teach your kid your religion or your own set of morals.

Unfortunately in this country, there are still so many ways that it is legal to fuck up your kid.

[RKP5637]

2. In my book YES! n/t

[bobbolink]

3. As far as I'm concerned, it most definitely is.

Yet, home schooling continues.

[DrCory]

4. Are ALL Home-schoolers Racist Fundie Bigots? N/T

[FreedomRain]

11. No they are not

I realize you may have meant that rhetorically, but I have to point out -

Don't spread vicious stereotypes. You are better then that.

Thank Man that that option was available for my kids. Who knows if one wouldn't have run away or chosen suicide like that Boston girl recently? Perhaps you are one of those who think it builds great character to be called a slut because you got your boobs first, or queer cause you have long hair? Or punched for any of the above and no reason whatsoever? Administration will do nothing but nod while you explain the problem and they will do nothing to keep our children safe. Public schools have so totally failed us, many will turn to home school and charter school and online school. This will have it's own problems of course, and I don't have the answer


To the OP ? , Yes of course it is, and totally non legislatable at present. Someday perhaps a child raised that way will sue his parents for emotional damage civilly. May she or he succeed!

[FreedomRain]

13. Daily violence and humiliation more of a public school thing

actually.

[bobbolink]

14. Ahhh, I see. So hate IS taught in public schools now.

Quite the curriculum change... I'm sure many teachers here on DU will be interested to know this.

[FreedomRain]

18. Just business as usual

There was a greatest page bully thread about this a few months ago. Many of our teacher DU-ers were there. I went to several schools in the several states, they were all the same and they haven't changed for this generation. As public schools become increasingly unsafe, I can only hope more alternatives arise. I would rather our public schools be something we could be proud of again.

I worked as a bus driver for a few years in yet another district. Quit because of lack of admin's caring about safety. EG , a student gets caught assaulting another, gets kicked off bus, Principal sneaks her back on another bus. Typical.

[grace0418]

32. Uh, what school did you attend where that stuff didn't happen? I attended public school

in the 70s and 80s and bullying was a part of my every day existence. The teachers didn't teach it (well, actually one or two of them did), but they sure as hell turned a blind eye to it.

[timtom]

5. In reality...

Of course.

[ProgressiveProfessor]

6. Wrong Place - self delete

[LiberalLoner]

7. I believe it is, yes. I feel sorry for children raised like that. n/t

[bobbolink]

8. I feel sorry for the society they grow up to infect.

And the people who suffer from their hatred.

[AnArmyVeteran]

10. Hate is a heavy burden to have to carry on one's spirit...

Hi my Liberal(not so)Loner ;) Like others have pointed out, there really isn't any way to stop parents from harming their children this way. But instilling hate into defenseless children is like poisoning them. No forensic scientist could ever see any trace of the poisonous hatred in their bodies, but their spirits would be so burdened from the hate that holds them down.

yasbmdl...

[baldguy]

9. Yes.

[keroro gunsou]

12. maybe not

but it is setting them up for some pretty brutal beat-downs when the object of their hate don't feel like putting up with there bullshit any longer. i had an aunt try that with her kids, married a wacko southern baptist/racist. homeschooled 'em til high school then turned them loose on the milwaukee public schools. i had a running bet with my dad how long it would take for them to be beaten up.... sadly, it didn't take long.

[AnArmyVeteran]

15. I believe homeschooling, especially when tainted with religion, is harmful to children...

While it might sound noble to some home schooling keeps children away from other children they will eventually need to get along with in society. Staying at home doesn't give a child any time to socialize. And when a child is fed a steady diet of religious=tainted 'education' their views on the world will meet strong rejection from intelligent and aware people later. I wonder what kind of damage happens to a child when it is exposed to only what their parents want them to learn, instead of reality? I'm sure a great deal of home schooling parents adequately prepare their children without indoctrinating them into a future of religious ignorance.

[keroro gunsou]

16. that's pretty much what happened

reality was not kind to my cousins... til they adjusted their attitudes and world view. poster children for white supremacy they were not. still it amuses me that their mom blames me for how they turned out.

[FreedomRain]

20. pls see above

I agree the socialization problem exists. But how can you ignore the damage to a child taunted daily while adults look the other way?

[bobbolink]

21. Those of us who have dealt with home-schooled children tend to avoid them at all costs.

Years ago, I was a volunteer naturalist at a state park. We did many school tours, and the ones who had been there for a while refused to do the home-school tours. Us newbies quickly learned why.

The kids ran wild, and the parents who were required to be there, ignored the kids and socialized among themselves.

Before someone screams, I will say that I am sure there are well-behaved home-schooled children. That wasn't our experience, and we dealt with a lot of schools.

[ChickMagic]

27. I did the same thing

I was a state park ranger/biologist/geologist who did tours. When I mentioned things like the Cretaceous period when the rocks were formed and that it used to be a coral reef in a shallow sea, the adult was rolling his eyes and trying to challenge me with Noah's flood. He claimed all the critters died in the water and I told him they lived in water.

The girls and boys were forbidden from swimming in the lake at the same time.

It was weird.

[mopinko]

22. homeschooling is no more or no less harmful to children than public school.

some are great, some are horrible, and most are in between. your pov, that it lacks socializing, which is to say the ability to fit into a hierarchy, especially to fit into the bottom rung of that hierarchy, seems to be some sort of gut level, instinctive thing that almost ever person i have ever talked to about homeschooling has professed. it always strikes me as uneducated, but perhaps you know something about it that i don't know. it is, in my experience, completely unfounded.
there is a vast left wing of homeschooling for whom protecting the innocence of a loving child from a harsh bureaucracy is a large consideration. as is a resistance to seeing a child squeezed into a one size fits all shoe that is certain to stunt the foot that is in it. in short, to protect children from a brutalizing force. how can you see that as teaching hate?

[FreedomRain]

24. Thank you

I was beginning to think I was the only one :D

[AnArmyVeteran]

25. You missed the point of the OP about parents teaching hatred to their kids... why?

I have never attended any class in my entire 12+8 years of public eduction where I have heard hate being taught. Hate IS taught in homes by parents all the time, through their actions and their words. You are straying from the original post to suit your own agenda. That is fine, but it seems as if you are either deliberately or unintentionally avoiding the fact that hate is taught in homes. If you are a member of any race and are homeschooled and are taught everyone but your race is bad you have nothing to counter what your parents are telling you. But if you are in a public school surrounded by people of all colors then you can easily see your parents are wrong. Being sheltered in a home away from society can be a breeding ground for hate. At least a child who is exposed to other races outside their homes can make their own determinations about the merits of other people.

[seabeyond]

17. our obligation as a parent is to give our children tools in life that will allow them to have

the most productive, healthy, balanced journey. teaching hate is the opposite of giving that to our children. it is parenting fail.

[AnArmyVeteran]

26. Seabeyond, you are 100% right, but there are no requirements to become a 'parent'.

Anyone who can breed can have a child. I've always wondered why we need a license to drive a car, but no instruction at all to raise a child. I remember a series called "Active Parenting" and it was such a great way to interact with a child. It removed (most of) the confrontation from the relationship. It was a great guide to help adults take care of children. Face it, most mothers and fathers don't have a clue what how to raise a child. They just replay the tapes they heard when they were growing up. By doing so they perpetuated many of the mistakes their parents made. I'm not in favor of forced government parenting classes, but it would be nice if kids were taught useful, practical things in public school, like balancing a checkbook, how to handle credit, and how to parent a child. In the parenting class 16 and 18 year olds could be given one of those artificial babies where they have to take care of it for 24 hours. I know it's like shock therapy but it works.

[seabeyond]

29. firstly, was a statement, no more. not advocating govt action.

my oldest, a 15 yr old boy, at the height of rebellion has told me more than once, he does not need to rebel. we reason in this house. all he needs to do is be able to reason, and life is good. so i agree that certain parenting does allow a much more peace upbringing.

i am with you and not on the using education to raise our kids cause the parent is unable. the checkbook, credit ect.... should be taught by parent. both boys at 12 and 15 have been doing for a while. they take care of their own bank accounts. why we as parents have given up our role and expect school to teach our children all things totally amaze me. at the youngest of age i told my children, i am the boss, not a teacher, principal, cop or govt. me. the buck stops here. not so much in a controlling manner for the kids, but more to give them the confidence that i have their interest at heart and will be there.

but

that being said.

i understand a lot of parents arent teaching, or teaching a poor example of parenting, checkbooks, credit. my son is a freshman in highschool this year. i know decades ago when i was in school there was a business class we went over bank account, check books. my son touched on it in middle school. having to create household with bills and income. my youngest in 6th grade is doing a project in math now, where they create a household and bills coming in. he talked to me about it

my niece in highschool did a parenting class. i dont know about the checkbooks. we will see has son goes thru school, but i think it is in the cirriculum.

basically, i am in agreement with your post, with twists, lol.

[BeFree]

19. I think it is abuse. Good thinking. n/t

[Time for change]

23. It's bad, but

I don't think it rises to the level of child abuse.

Child abuse is to a large extent a legal term that warrants action taken against the perpetrator. I think it would be a bad idea to take legal action against parents for teaching their children what they believe -- notwithstanding the fact that we strongly disagree with their teachings or that those teachings are harmful to their children.

[ChickMagic]

28. I was raised that way, and it did damage me

I don't like to admit that, but I was raised by bigots to be bigoted. I started questioning all that by the time I was 12 or so and started having shouting matches with both parents.

Today, still, I have to work on my thought processes. I wish it was automatic for me to be non-racist but I have to work on it and understand that when I feel that way, it is wrong.

I'm actually beginning to feel somewhat free of it, but it took half a lifetime to do it.

[AnArmyVeteran]

30. I'm glad you have been able to purge yourself of so much of the hatred you were exposed to...

You are fortunate to be able to see through what you were being taught and realize it was untrue. Having come from a family with other abusive issues I understand how hard it is to come to terms with the emotional burdens placed upon those who are most vulnerable, like children. l applaud you for your constant efforts to overcome the racism you were exposed to. I believe there is some good in everyone, but far too many people become prisoners of the worst human traits, and some seem eager to hold onto them. Congratulations for being 'free'...

[ChickMagic]

31. Thank you

It has been an effort, but well worth it. I was also in a fundy physically and mentally abusive family which probably made me more vulnerable to the programming.

I remember my father traveled a great deal for work as a salesman.
Mostly every week. He had plenty to say about blacks and hispanics, but never about Jews. When he returned from Buffalo, NY (his first time there) he came loaded for bear about Jews. It was really odd to me that he would suddenly be against Jews. I was in high school about that time and had become a full fledged liberal.

The worst I've had to face was his constant bigotry toward the Japenese. He was in a Japanese prison camp in WWII and was part of the Bataan Death march and the horrible prison ships. He was a slave in Japan working in the Mitsubitshi coal mines.

I first bought a Chevy under pressure from him to buy American. It was a total piece of crap. My next car was a used Corolla. He completely freaked out and had a fit. My car was fantastic. I just don't know why he didn't consider my safety and the reliability of the Corolla compared to the POS Chevy.

I can understand his bitterness toward the Japanese and that, perhaps, is the hardest one for me because of what the dregs of the Japenese army did to my dad. However, I still work on that and have great relationships with some of the Japanese students and residents I work with.