Actress, Musician to Wed

[joeybee12]

HOLLYWOOD, CA—The actress from the big hit movie and the musician from the popular band who have been photographed many times together out on the town are getting married, entertainment industry sources reported Monday.

"I love him," the actress, who has been seen sporting a huge diamond engagement ring recently, told reporters while walking down the red carpet. "He's definitely the one."

The wedding, which will take place this summer, is expected to be attended by many equally famous celebrities, and will be photographed by many paparazzi, via helicopter if necessary. Insiders expect the guest list to be a veritable 'who's who' of the rich and famous, including the Hollywood director, the reclusive former star who rarely makes public appearances, and the very handsome actor who used to be on television but is now in movies.

According to sources, the wedding between the actress and the musician will be the most important social event of the season. "It's going to take place on a tropical island owned by the couple's super-rich friend," said the blonde entertainment reporter. "And her dress will be created by the fashion designer who did all those Oscar gowns."

"Wow," she added.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/actress-musician-to-wed,17387/

[Vickers]

1. That story is plumb bogged down with details.

:P

[Skidmore]

2. And thus the oxygen gets sucked out of the national discourse forthwith...

once again The Onion nails it.

[SpiralHawk]

3. "We is swooning with excitement." - Fanboyz & Fangirlz

"We never ever thot it could be. I hope they do like the family values republicons, and find someone totally hunky to handle the luggage on their honeymoon."

- Fanboyz & Fangirlz

[GreenPartyVoter]

4. *snarf*

[WeDidIt]

5. "What can I say about a marriage like this? It is truly one of a kind."

:rofl:

[Hissyspit]

6. Yeah, that'll last more than a year...

:eyes:

[eppur_se_muova]

7. "Man weds woman in wedding ceremony" -- Springfield Shopper, front page

or whatever the newspaper is on The Simpsons.

[Control-Z]

8. Until I saw "The Onion" link

I was going to alert and ask that it be removed, or sent someplace appropriate. (a dungeon somewhere, FR?)

[Recovered Repug]

9. The marriage will never take place.

Once the affair between the actress and Oscar winning (and very married) director becomes known, the engagement will be called off.