Introduction to a book I'm working on

[frustrated_lefty]

Hurricane Katrina was one of those monstrous events in life, one of those terrible, once in a life time tragedies, which can define everything which follows. Five years later, the damage is still not repaired, and the Gulf Coast is being slammed by waves of oil right before hurricane season. Now, these events might casually be blamed on acts of nature, beyond our control. With regard to the effects of Katrina, however, that ignores the gross neglect of the army corps of engineers, and the criminal neglect of members of the Bush administration to address obvious problems which might have been corrected prior to the loss of more than 3,000 American lives. The presence of formaldehyde in mobile homes assigned to the survivors of Katrina should raise alarm. Five years later, 5 billion gallons of oil are being dumped in the Gulf., poisoning the food and poisoning the livelihood of the people who live there, raising a question as to whether there is any real help being devoted to the Gulf.

[HEyHEY]

1. May I suggest you begin with something more human

I don't know what this book is intended to look like. However, you've thrown a lot of information in the first paragraph. What subjects will be in the book, specifically what people who are affected have you spoken to?

[frustrated_lefty]

2. Thanks for the thoughts.

The first paragraphs are intended to be an introduction, not even part of a chapter. They're intended to be brutal. Factual, but brutal.

The subjects to be discussed I intended to flesh out in the next few paragraphs of the introduction? Between Katrina, the oil blow-out, and the state and federal response, there really is a lot to talk about.

As to the people who were affected, I am personally getting through PTSD from Katrina and watching its affects on my kids. I intended the discussion of Katrina and its effects to be biographical. The oil blowout really affects my stepfather, so I'd be drawing testimony from there, from him and his co-workers.

I don't know if it's something anyone would care to read about, really.

[HEyHEY]

3. In that case I would reccomend writing the intro after you've written the book.

As you write the book it'll likely end up being something different from what you thought at first. What you've written about your plan sounds like the intro should be written more like;

"Hurricane Katrian brought destruction and pain of unforeseen measures to the people of New Orleans. A city in an industrialized country was reduced to rubble in manner only thought to be suffered by developing countries. The aftermath has spawned questions about how it happened, what went wrong, and where what needs to be done to rebuild. I was one of the many who lost their homes and life. Here's why it happened."

Obviously it's not my book, so you could do it with more accuracy. But, what you've written is a bit more of a feeling than it is some introspection into the actual work.

As I said, write the book first.

[frustrated_lefty]

4. You give good advice

But, honestly, I intend for it to be laden with feeling.

I'm a published scientist, so I do understand the distinction you're making. I wonder if the distant, yet factual, litany of offenses helps perpetuate the same problem. I honestly don't know.

Here's an example. A guy briefly placed on a cot next to me lost both his children, his daughters. He led them up to the attic, where he had an axe. He chopped a hole through the roof of the home, because the water was rising so fast. He pushed his daughters through the hole so they wouldn't drown. But, the wind was blowing so fast that they were both blown away into the waters by the time he crawled through the attic. The guy was hospitalized pretty quickly. He was a broken man.

I look at the oil in the Gulf and think that maybe factual statements don't cut it, they don't get the enormity. I think that perhaps more emotional description may touch deeper? Perhaps I am wrong. It seems to me the Gulf Coast suffered a beating 5 years ago, a bad one. And, it's happening again. I'd keep my mouth shut, if it weren't for that. Devastation is happening again, and corporate and government interests are pretending like it's business as usual.

[HEyHEY]

5. Well, if you're gonna gonna make it laden with feeling

Then the human elements are important, if you could find the cot guy that'd be a good place to start. But, I would keep most of the politics and such at arms length and show just the effect it had on people and make small connections.