BP to try a rain dance and a prayer circle next to stop the oil gusher

[marmar]

from the WaPo:



BP attempts  riser insertion,' but fails to contain oil spill in Gulf of Mexico

By Joel Achenbach and Juliet Eilperin
Sunday, May 16, 2010


An attempt to use a mile-long tube to capture most of the oil gushing from a well at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico failed on the first try, but technicians were working Saturday night to put the pipe in place, BP officials said.

The "riser insertion" tactic, which gained support from BP engineers only in recent days, is akin to inserting one straw into another straw. The goal is to contain the oil in the main riser pipe before it reaches open water, where natural gas quickly combines with the water to form slushy methane hydrates that have complicated previous attempts to contain the leak.

But the effort ran into mechanical trouble on the first stab, BP chief operating officer Doug Suttles said. Giving few details, he said there was a problem connecting a 5,000-foot string of pipe to the "tool" being inserted into the damaged pipe. The tool was retrieved by a surface ship and an adjustment was made, Suttles said.

Meanwhile, the Associated Press reported that another BP oil rig, the Atlantis, has operated in the gulf with incomplete and inaccurate engineering documents, a deficiency that prompted one BP official to warn could "lead to catastrophic operator error." ..........(more)

The complete piece is at: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/15/AR2010051503543.html

[BrklynLiberal]

1. I was wondering what their next plan of attack would be.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[havocmom]

2. I threw down some chicken bones to find out.

The bones said to consult the runes.

The runes said to use the magic 8 ball

The magic 8 ball is too small to plug the hole

There's a hole
There's a hole
There's a hole in the bottom of the sea.

[BrklynLiberal]

12. dear liza, dear liza...

[Newest Reality]

3. I have now begun to take action!

I put on my Wizard hat and robe. I don the sacred paraphernalia that is only entrusted to a very selct few of the highest, mystical degree.

I speak the most sacred and arcane of syllables over and over, leading to the deep release of my utterance of the most Divine Word of Power. Then, I pause to contemplate the actions of boneheads acting knowledgeable and begin my precise and powerful ritual and chant, (while lighting candles at the sanctum of my Holy Monitor):

By all that is rather Zen and such,
Beyond the foolish split of self from all and that inconvenient biosphere stuff!
Seal the self-infatuated dummies of culture's biggest joke of death!
Create the Karma for the BP clowns of profit now, as in the John Lennon instant kind!
Hold 'em back or set 'em free! Empty their dream catchers, especially if they have seen a movie what is called Pray-day-tor!
Bring us consumers relief from the results of our culture-induced addictions.
Plug that pipe! Plug that pipe! We are not ready for extinction, though we have sown it in our complicity!
Bring some true intelligence to us drunk monkeys ... don't we deserve it now after all the bullshit ... for decencies sake ... PLUG THAT PIPE PLEASE!

So mote it be and may BP be no more! It is done.

Let's see if I performed that esoteric ritual emphatically and correctly enough to save the day for all you neophytes.

In the event that the oil gusher does abate or end very soon, I will provide an easy way to send your sacred and deserved love offerings to me, a true vessel for the selfless, spiritual intervention of a potentially fatal extinction event. You are welcome!

[NanceGreggs]

4. My money is on Chicken Soup.

It might not help - but it couldn't hurt.

[AllentownJake]

5. I understand they are financially responsible

However, seeing that they created the mess with incompetence. Does it make any sense for them to be suddenly competent now.

[lonestarnot]

10. Here here!

[aquart]

6. Why does this remind me of Belafonte's Hole in the Bucket?

I'd post it in political videos but I have no clue how and the instructions didn't seem to fit the YouTube page.

So here: <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yD-ffhvefsw>

[BrklynLiberal]

13. LOL. See post #2 and #12

[glowing]

7. Maybe instead of inserting a tube, they should envelope the tube.

Less pressure resistence i would think.. But honestly, they need to stop thinking about how to capture their profits and dam the thing up.

[Jamastiene]

8. zOMG

Even I am smarter than that bunch of buffoons...and that's saying something.

[amborin]

9. knr

[jberryhill]

11. Why Aren't Psychics And Spiritual Workers Concentrating Their Powers On This

The headlines does raise a good question though.

Why are people with telekinesis holding out on us here?