Men Who Marry Younger Women Live Longer; Women Do Best with Spouse of Same Age

[The Straight Story]

Men Who Marry Younger Women Live Longer; Women Do Best with Spouse of Same Age

Big age differences between husbands and wives are great for men’s longevity, but not for women’s. Researchers at the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Rostock, Germany, found women are better off marrying spouses of the same age, because wedding men either younger or older tended to reduce their life expectancy. However, men benefit from taking a younger wife, thanks to the “health selection” theory that researchers previously assumed applied to women as well.

According to a study of two million Danish couples by Sven Drefahl, a man who marries a woman 7-9 years younger than he is has a mortality rate 11% less than a man who marries a woman of the same age. But if a woman marries a man who is 7-9 years younger, her mortality rate increases by 20%.

http://www.allgov.com/Unusual_News/ViewNews/Men_Who_Marry_Younger_Women_Live_Longer__Women_Do_Best_with_Spouse_of_Same_Age_100516

[2Design]

1. have not been enough test cases of older women with younger men to make a conclusion n/t

[gristy]

2. Did you find mention of sample size at the link? I could not find any.

[2Design]

7. just intuitive - it is still a big deal in the news when it happens so it is not a every day n/t

[Scout]

68. "According to a study of two million Danish couples" n/t

[lumberjack_jeff]

3. Think this through.

What other commonalities might there be among men who marry women 7-9 years younger?

[bettyellen]

5. $$

[seabeyond]

6. suggesting thru income he probably has better health insurance, down time,

destressers in life?

[Edweird]

15. Or maybe better fitness and higher activity levels.

[seabeyond]

16. exactly, lifestyles, which higher income allow more of. nt

[Edweird]

23. I'm pretty much broke but I still do ok.

[seabeyond]

27. i am glad to hear it. good for you. nt

[AnArmyVeteran]

61. Good for you!

[Kber]

64. To some extent, the health care issue should be mitigated by the location of the study

[seabeyond]

4. yet the younger woman has a lower life expectancy.

the male needing the less experienced, more timid woman he can control probably does better than the man that has to man up and deal with a woman of equal power, maturity.

[Name removed]

22. Deleted message

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[Name removed]

24. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Edweird]

25. It is what it is.

I'm going for the most compatible and attractive partner I can. So are you. That's human nature.

[Missy Vixen]

30. I wonder how many of the women with you are "settling"

Ever considered that, Sparky?

:eyes:

[Edweird]

39. Why would I want to be with someone that thought of me like that?

I don't.

Stay classy.

[Missy Vixen]

46. And I rest my case. n/t

[Edweird]

48. What 'case'?

[seabeyond]

29. my, my..... nt

[FedUpWithIt All]

8. I guess i am going to die younger...

:shrug:

But that doesn't mean i won't die happier.

:7

I am older. He is an incredible human being and i am grateful for every. single. second.

[seabeyond]

9. wink...

i am right there with you. but then at a certain age, i dont see a few years as older or younger.... i give it at least 5 yrs before i think there is really a difference.

[FedUpWithIt All]

12. We have a significant age difference of more than a decade.

We are bizarrely compatible in spite of the age difference. We simply meet on so many areas of common ground that age becomes largely irrelevant.

[customerserviceguy]

10. Not sure how the dynamic would work with the older women

marrying the younger men, but in the case of the older men marrying the younger woman, wouldn't the chances of that increase if he were perceived as younger and healthier than most men his age?

In other words, the women who are willing to marry an older man are much more likely to do so if they think he won't die much sooner than they do, so they select against the men who are perceived as being of average or normal health. The men who are more sickly or disabled are probably completely selected against by these younger women, giving the illusion that the older man who marries the younger woman lives longer.

[FedUpWithIt All]

13. The report suggests that women suffer from age difference in either direction. n/t

[customerserviceguy]

26. I see that, but cannot figure out an explanation for it

It might be possible that a woman who marries a much older man may feel she has less reason to live after he's dead, and succumbs to illnesses that she'd fight harder if her husband were still in the picture. I see that with my mother, who's seven years younger than Dad. She's lived with lupus for about three decades now, but she fights every day to be there for him, to make sure she's having a good day when his Parkinson's is giving him a bad day.

[seabeyond]

31. i dont know, but what might make sense, as a person ages and encounters illness

it can effect the mate also.

i read recently dementia, if a partner has it, then it is much more likely for the partner to end up with it.

[customerserviceguy]

42. That could be environmental

After all, a couple who lives in the same home, and eats the same foods might just encounter the same causes of dementia, or any number of other illnesses where causality is poorly understood.

[Missy Vixen]

28. Two girlfriends

One is with a guy fifteen years younger than she is. He is, to put it bluntly, an ass. He might be teh hotness, but I have to believe that guys in their early thirties are, on the whole, much more mature and thoughtful than this life support system for a penis, or I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. I have no idea what she sees in him, besides the fact he must make her see God on a regular basis. She also exponentially out-earns him.

Another woman I haven't seen for awhile, but we have mutual friends. Her husband is twenty years older than she is. When they first met, it was all great. He had plenty of money, his kids were grown, and she didn't want more kids. Now, he's sick. They were going to retire to a much warmer climate. Between his illness and the economic collapse, they're both working, and that retirement has been shelved indefinitely.

It's hard to say why either chose whom they're with, but truthfully, I'm not sure either one is happy.

[customerserviceguy]

38. I suspect you may be right

Women that are willing to marry a much younger man who are strikingly deficient in some way probably are either answering a biological clock, or some perceived societal need to have a man, even though he drags them down. Similarly, becoming an older man's full-time nurse's aide might have the same effect, and she would be involved with him for the same reasons.

But in both cases, wouldn't it be safe to assume that one of the motivating factors for either woman is self-perceived attractiveness? If a woman regards herself as unattractive due to circumstances such as obesity or physical disability, wouldn't she be more likely to overlook the problems at either age extreme? Those conditions might well contribute to a lower longevity overall.

[Missy Vixen]

41. The woman with the younger guy is drop-dead gorgeous

I think she's with him because she wanted someone that curled her toes. She also has had some interesting struggles with guys around her own age who can't handle her income. In other words, she does well, and they're not happy she out-earns them.

The woman with the much older guy is not as gorgeous as my other friend, but she's certainly not ugly. Her husband is a nice guy, but she's told the mutual friends "this is not what I signed up for". It'll be interesting to see what happens over the next few years as a result.

[customerserviceguy]

43. While those circumstances might be true

in those two cases, I'm interested in exploring the possible reasons for this phenomena over the population as a whole. Besides, neither of your friends has passed away yet, and there's really no telling if this observation about marrying well outside your own age would even apply to them.

I do agree, it takes a strong man to admit that a woman who earns more than him is OK.

[Missy Vixen]

47. The money thing can be a dealbreaker

>it takes a strong man to admit that a woman who earns more than him is OK<

I do something that I have the potential to exponentially out-earn my husband. He says he's fine with it. I wonder what will happen if it ever becomes reality.

The women I know who are already in that reality have a variety of reactions from the men in their lives, up to and including their leaving her for someone younger and more subservient.

[customerserviceguy]

50. We have a whole societal mindset

that says that any man who makes less than his spouse is some kind of bum, or scammer, or worse. My friends at the office joke with me about it all the time, but I counter with their "weaknesses". It's just how we pal around.

Women often buy into the idea that they're "keeping" a man unless he makes at least the same as what they do. It goes both ways.

[seabeyond]

53. agreed. nt

[FedUpWithIt All]

57. Older women/younger men relationships can be built on things other than sex.

I understand you are pointing out a specific experience. But i wanted to clarify that this is not always the case. Men at a younger age have as much variation as men at any other age. Some are more stable and committed, respectful and mature. Some are not.

Assholishness is ageless. And admirable qualities can be found at any age as well.

[ismnotwasm]

11. She's probably taking care of his old ass

Men statistically tend to not return the favor, no matter what the ages.

Anecdotally though, I've seen seen incredibly devoted husbands, above and beyond. In fact, I'm married to one.

[treestar]

14. How do they know it is not the other way round?

Men who manage to marry a younger woman might be healthier. The kind of man that can attract a younger woman would have kept in shape.

I never know what value these studies are. Who pays for them? So women will want to marry men their age while men want a younger woman. I guess that will destroy the institution of marriage, since the sexes don't agree on what they want!

[seabeyond]

18. it seems to not behoove a younger woman to marry the older man. nt

[treestar]

19. True! Per this study we should all look for guys our own age, who

if they are reading this study, want not us but a younger woman, who in turn wants someone her age!

[Forkboy]

17. Cool, I figure if I marry a 3 year old I'll live to be a hundred!

:hide:

[JackDragna]

20. And for the longest, happiest life for both sexes..

..never get married. :)

[seabeyond]

21. studies disagree with your conclusion. exact opposite, as a matter of fact. lol. nt

[JackDragna]

63. It's all tongue-in-cheek.

C'mon. Smile. :)

[seabeyond]

66. ball and chain, force him down the isle, his life is over....

women grow up with this (and men) since we are little girls. both boys and girls are told over and over, men are made to marry, they really dont want to, yada yada yada.

it is a dig to females. it is a pumping of chest for men.

yes, it makes you smile

women not so much. why would it be funny to us to know we are only ball and chains.

but thanks for the tongue in cheek... i do like the clarification.

[JackDragna]

75. Fantastic.

I know many women who say the exact same thing I did, even if they're married. Especially if they're married. It's a sort of communal wringing out of the stress of everyday life. You're making this out to be a lot more than it is.

[seabeyond]

77. matter of awareness

making it more than it is? or not. discussing and expressing. i dont know if that is making more than it is. it is a conditioning. of course women say it, too. they are also in the same conditioned world that you are in. i, too, said it.

hubby talking about employ to hire. he said girl.... switched to lady. i told him woman. we dont say woman. i dont know why. he didnt say boy with the man in position for job. he didnt say gentleman. man was easy enough. but conditioning dictated girl or lady

making a big deal? or being aware to de condition.

[Missy Vixen]

33. Men are happiest when married

Women aren't.

Scores of studies have borne this out over the years.

[catzies]

34. Amended: "....never get married, have a pet instead."

I've been living with my SO for two years and he drives me up an absolute frigging wall every single day, and he moved in right around the time my cat died. I still miss my cat, and he was better to have around than my boyfriend.

My boyfriend tells me we're going to be together til death do us part, to which my response to him is I'm hoping for an early death.

Give me a pet any day.

[w4rma]

58. Why haven't you broken up with him then? You do have that choice. (nt)

[catzies]

62. Because my life is what you get when you got what you wanted

and you know the moral of that story.

[tonysam]

32. These young women are nothing more than nursemaids. Who the hell wants that? n/t

[AngryAmish]

36. A little nursemaiding goes a long way when you have a Mercedes in the garage

[Missy Vixen]

44. She'll be paying for that "Mercedes" for the rest of her life

For anyone who hasn't seen "It's Complicated" yet, I recommend renting it. I was LAUGHING over the scene in the fertility doc's waiting room with multiple older guy/younger women couples.

Any woman who marries a man because he can keep her in the style to which she'd like to become accustomed will pay for that decision over, and over, and over. He will trade her in on a new model before the Mercedes' warranty expires. Any man who chooses a woman appreciably younger because he thinks it makes him look hawt and manly will end up alone, because a woman in the market for that Mercedes is going to have a Ferrari on the side, so to speak.

IMHO.

[lumberjack_jeff]

59. Or the rest of his life, anyway. n/t

[Scout]

69. yes, everyone remember: "When you take their money, you have to take their shit."

i'll do without the mercedes, or buy my own, thanks.

[seabeyond]

72. that works best for me too. nt

[seabeyond]

37. not you or i, but then we value differently than others. hence why

the majority of women do better with one our own age, in maturity....

[tonysam]

35. Seven to nine years really isn't a huge age difference, so this study is rather ridiculous n/t

[Scuba]

40. Gotta be bogus....

....when it reports "a man who marries a woman 7-9 years younger than he is has a mortality rate 11% less than a man who marries a woman of the same age". That suggests that 11% of men marrying younger women never die. The mortality rate is 100%.

Still, I'm willing to give it a shot. How long can I expect to live if I marry a woman 30 years younger than I?

[Missy Vixen]

45. I heard someone say this awhile ago; I wish I knew who made the quote

"You're as faithful as your options."

[nonconformist]

70. Chris Rock.

"A man is only as faithful as his options"

I tend to agree with that, but of course there are exceptions.

[Missy Vixen]

71. I love him

I think it's true for both sexes.

Oops. Did I say that?

;-)

[seabeyond]

73. especially as women fuck around on their mate almost as much as men do.... wtf?

i know a lot fo men that would be offended by that statement and think fidility important in marriage. as many men as women.

[rucky]

49. John Edwards was trying to have it both ways.

:evilgrin:

[Marr]

51. Well, older men who marry younger women are probably more likely to

be financially comfortable as well. I suspect that would have more to do with their lifespan than the age of their spouse.

[noamnety]

52. As long as we're all spouting off theories

here's mine:

Women are healthiest when they are treated as equals, not as girls or mothers.

[supernova]

54. It's corollary

That men require more care from women than we get in return, regardless of the ages involved.

:tinfoilhat:

[seabeyond]

55. i am not gonna be your mama. thankfully, my hubby insists i not be his mama.

i tend to think not only is the female more healthy, but so is the male.

on edit... before anyone thinks it is man bashing, i know females that want mate to be daddy.

[FedUpWithIt All]

56. +1000

[Jennicut]

60. Well, my husband is 3 months older. And the only person I ever really dated.

And we got married at 25. Now, at 34, I think it is still working and we have two kids we love.

I think all relationships that work do so because the people in them like the arrangement. Sometimes age has little to do with what makes you happy or not.

[WinkyDink]

65. Bad news for the gold-diggers.

[Vinca]

67. I've always told my husband he was lucky to be married to a child bride.

He's 63. I'm 61. :rofl:

[seabeyond]

74. lol

we had a laugh at the table with kids the other day talking about our first love. i was in 7th grade, he was in 6th. said, i always had a thing for younger man.

hubby three yrs younger.

so your post was funny to me.

[harry_pothead]

76. I think there is a lurking variable

Men who stay fit longer are going to stay looking young for longer because they are fit and then are more likely to marry a younger woman, and they are also going to live longer because they are fit.

[Gwendolyn]

78. If people bother to open the research paper... the answers are there. n/t