Someone explain this to me.. in small words and single syllables

[Peacetrain]

Because I am just not getting this
:crazy:


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_people_bristol_palin
Bristol Palin to hit speakers' circuit

JUNEAU, Alaska – Bristol Palin is hitting the speakers' circuit and will command between $15,000 and $30,000 for each appearance, Palin family attorney Thomas Van Flein said Monday.

[notadmblnd]

1. sounds to me like she'll be joining in of the fleecing of the flock

Where is she going to speak besides churches? Who else is stupid enough to listen to her?

[gratuitous]

2. Fill in the blanks

There's a ___________________ born every minute.

A ____________ and his money are soon _________________.

It's not so surprising that dumb people can be fleeced; what's surprising is how a fool and his money ever got together in the first place. The good news for the speaker's bureau is that they can list the estimable Bristol Palin as a resource, but they never have to pay her a dime if she's never booked.

[peace frog]

3. As simply put as possible

Get knocked up at 16 with an out of wedlock baby, think about finishing GED after the baby's birth, rely on media wh@re mom to smooth your path towards makin' them BIG BUCKS for DOIN' NOTHIN'.

[FSogol]

4. It is a way for the William Kristols and Dick Armeys of the world to siphon money to

the Wasilla Hillbillies without violating campaign finance laws.

[katzenjammers]

5. I love this little snip from the article:

"He added her exact fees will depend on factors such as which group she's addressing and what she must to do prepare."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wonder if 'preparing' might include graduating high school...

:shrug:

[FSogol]

7. Prepare= write "Lift America's Spirit" and "lower taxes" on her palm.

That and read all major newspapers and magazines.

[stuball111]

9. Probably censor questions too, like mommy dearest...

Like... "Bristol, why isn't the father in the picture anymore?" Answer: "Cause mommy blabbermouth says we can make more money as a single parent,and if we were one big happy family (values) my campaign wouldn't be worth a dime, so she run him off!"

[Toucano]

12. I love that part, too.

From a thread yesterday:

I'd like to see a list of the possibilities here.

1. Memorize three new Bible quotes that show sex is bad.
2. Tanning appointment.
3. Hair appointment.
4. Mani/pedi.
5. Masturbate (you can't talk about abstinence convincingly until you "unload the gun", so to speak).
6. Drink two bottles of water from flexible straws.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=8357156&mesg_id=8357233

[BrklynLiberal]

6. The dumbing down of America....................

[blondeatlast]

8. It''s just, Bristol, when it comes, yup, to,

deserves, Mom, she also, does, too.

GO america!

[librechik]

10. "Platform: or Why your exciting novel/book/script is not getting sold to a publisher"

Bristol Palin: known quantity to media, doesn't matter why, has enormous name recognition, therefore publishers, media and groups willing to invest in her crap=PLATFORM (some sales)

You--excellent imagination and writing skills, degree (perhaps) and rich experience in your field, however nobody ever heard of you, novel/book/script/expertise not based on personal notoriety= NO PLATFORM (no sale)

How do you get a "platform" without already being rich and famous or getting involved in some crime or some embarrassing or life threatening incident others want to hear about? You basically don't.

Get a famous, rich, gay husband who cheated on you with a sports model and then kidnapped you. Now THAT'S an author who can sell.

[spanone]

11. will she be explaining how she got pregnant? what's her story?

[Bitwit1234]

13. Telling people about teens and teen pregnancy

or something to do with that. I saw it on Huff Post several days ago.

[damntexdem]

14. Empty head, teen mom not wed, own mom's a celeb.

Hey, come on, these small words and so many single syllables are killing me. If you want more of them, ask a Palin.

;-)