I think a lot of people are overreacting to the new Texas history textbook standards

[Bucky]

The changes the social conservatives put in are actually minimal.

* Christopher Columbus still "discovers" America in 1492, but now they make it clear that his trip was privately financed, not a result of funding by the Spanish government.

* George Washington didn't own slaves. He simply had "charter employees."

* Burr shot Hamilton, but this was a direct result of their gay marriage.

* The rise of trade unionism coincided with the development of 19th Century venereal diseases.

* Jesus invented the light bulb.

* Extensive primary source quotes by Andrew Carnegie, Albert Einstein, and Alexander Hamilton opposing immigration.

* FDR won World War Two by privatizing the US military.

* President Harry Truman replaced by President John Wayne.

* Abner Doubleday invented football, not baseball. And real football, not that pantywaist pagan crap without any helmets or steroids like they do in socialist countries.

* 1863: Abraham Lincoln issues the Emancipation Proclamation, officially freeing the corporations.

* Jesus invented the cotton gin.

* Mexican secular humanists attacked Pearl Harbor.

* Evidence for Global Warming is just a simple market correction for Global Cooling.

* Doves appeared out of the sky during Ronald Reagan's first inauguration. John the Baptist administered the oath

* Martin Luther King, both Kennedys and Jerry Falwell were all on Hillary Clinton's murder list. I'm just kidding. The new textbooks don't mention Martin Luther King.

See? You folks are freaking out over nothing. I actually teach history here in Texas and I'm not worried. It's not like the kids ever read the textbooks anyway.

[grantcart]

1. very funny.

BTW for those of us that are not following all of the details what was the result of the vote?

[pinboy3niner]

2. LOL! My bad for over-reacting nt

:rofl:

:kick:

[Doctor_J]

3. Thanks, Bucky. I was was a little worried

but your cogent explanation has brought off the ledge.

[havocmom]

4. saw subject line & came in, nostrils flaring, ready to slap you up side of the head!

:rofl:
VERY good work! :yourock:

[Bucky]

6. Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all weak.

[blondeatlast]

8. Yeah, well, the veal sucks. But I'll return when you come back!

Good stuff! :rofl:

[Robb]

5. LOL. Well done.

:toast:

[whoneedstickets]

7. We should all start using: "Wacky as a Texas Textbook" as an idiom

As often as possible, until it gets entrenched in the vernacular.

[blondeatlast]

9. Definitely! I love it. nt

[Ikonoklast]

10. You forgot to mention that we won the Viet Nam War.

With General George W. Bush flying daring one-man bombing missions over Hanoi.

[blondeatlast]

12. Not only that, but in the same platoon as Rush Limbaugh under

Major Dick Cheney.

[Ikonoklast]

13. Yeah, Rush has ALWAYS been under Major Dick.

Just not in the way you described.

[blondeatlast]

15. Now, how do you know what my filthy little mind is thinking?

:rofl:

[Bucky]

14. Maybe he got the polyps by throwing himself on a hand grenade

and of course like everything else he did it ass backwards

[Bucky]

16. I also forgot to mention that "E Pluribus Unam" is Latin for "drill baby drill"

[Ikonoklast]

17. You should also mention St. Ronnie coming down from Mount Sinai

with the Nine Commandments.



Republicans didn't like the 'coveting their neighbor's wife' stuff being a sin, as they like cheating on their spouses, so they did a little editing.

[nadinbrzezinski]

11. So I did not imagine the Holy Ghost

administering the oath in 1980... PHEW!

Thanks for that!

:-)

[TheKentuckian]

18. Good one