Rand Paul to appear on "Dancing with the Boors"

[Toucano]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

May 20th, 2010
Lexington, Kentucky

Fresh from his headline-garnering appearance on MSNBC's "The Rachel Maddow Show", newly elected anti-establishment Republican U.S. Senate candidate Rand Paul is set to appear in a new reality show currently under development.

"He's a phenomenal talent," observed program producer Harry Knutbol. "The way he danced around Maddow's central question was spectacular."

In addressing his controversial comments about the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which ended discrimination in public accommodations, Paul demonstrated his prowess with the tried and true First Amendment Twirl, spinning and spinning in a way that defied gravity. Facing total exhaustion and the orchestra playing out of tune, Paul then launched into his Second Amendment Shuffle, twisting space, time, logic, and reason.

After Wednesday night's performance, unnamed sources report Paul to have said, "What is so hard for her to understand? I'm pro-privatization. Why not privatize racism, too? There's no room for racism in public institutions. It's best handled by the private sector where innovation and competition will make racism stronger. This is the heart of the American system."

When quizzed on who else might be lined up to appear on the show, Knutbol was guarded. "I can't say anything, but there's a California blonde who does a killer Cakewalk and an Alaskan native who stuns with the Hokey Pokey.