Illegal Canadians!

[KamaAina]

Oh noes!!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/05/21/DDH01DHAKU.DTL

It is a little-known-but-still-factual fact that the Idaho Legislature passed an anti-illegal-immigrants law very similar to - indeed, modeled upon - Arizona's controversial law that has the same goal. Now, I disapprove of that law and have written about it, but a majority of Americans like it very much, so I lose that fight - for now....

So here I am, brooding about Idaho, which is not a familiar brood, when I realize: Idaho shares a border with Canada. It's a short border, but it's also lightly policed, and I can see those Canadians, their belongings in a plastic bag, sprinting through the evergreen forests under cover of darkness, seeking a better life away from the violent and corrupt Canadian government....

In cities like Spokane, Tacoma and Boise, there are Canadian ghettos, usually identifiable by the sad sight of a Tim Hortons masquerading as a Chinese restaurant. There Canadians gather, swap stories about Ogopogo (a mythical beast said to live in a lake in British Columbia), drink Molson's and play checkers. At some covert Hortons, there's even a miniature ice skating pond in the back room, where Canadians can strap on their skates and take a spin around a very tight track. Why the police have not raided these hotbeds of illegal Canadian immigrants is not known. Some suspect these establishments are protected by the Canadian Mafia, which is loosely affiliated with the Brotherhood of Canadian People, led, it is said, by Alex Trebek.

Those who have worked with Canadians say they are industrious, loyal and very, very clean. (Quebecois, it should be said, are just industrious and loyal.) Their wages are sometimes higher than those of Americans doing the same job, puzzling economists. Perhaps one reason is their insatiable desire to hear "Big Yellow Taxi" by Joni Mitchell. Put that song on the loudspeaker, people say, and Canadians won't stop until the music does.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[joeybee12]

1. If Candians invade Idaho, the worst possible thing will happen...

...Idaho will suddenly have high-school graduates!

[Barack_America]

2. And force sub-par students like Sarah Palin out of college!

[joeybee12]

3. That's right! No more affirmative action for nitwits in Idaho...

...they'll have to do basic addition and subtraction, so she'd be slopping hash at Denny's, and doing a bad job at that, too.

[hughee99]

4. Hey, Terrence, isn't it aboot time for the Boise St. game? n/t

[leftofcool]

8. Now that was just plain damn cruel

But funny as hell!

[joeybee12]

9. Hee-hee

:evilgrin:

[EFerrari]

5. JON CARROLL!

:rofl:

[sharp_stick]

6. That is a fantastic write up

I'm going to send it to my brother in Alberta.

I actually met someone that tried to convince me that Canadians were #2, behind Mexicans in illegal immigration. I called bullshit pretty loudly but after reading this maybe I'll have to revisit it.

[EFerrari]

7. Jon is probably in the top three most gifted, sane and funny writers

in the San Francisco Bay area. I hope he lives forever. :)

[sharp_stick]

11. I haven't read him before

but I think I'm going to bookmark him after this one. Maybe it's because so many of my family members are up there and I've spent a lot of time in Canada but this article was perfect.

[EFerrari]

12. He was the one that got the communique from Unitarian Jihad.

Jon Carroll
April 08, 2005

The following is the first communique from a group calling itself Unitarian Jihad. It was sent to me at The Chronicle via an anonymous spam remailer. I have no idea whether other news organizations have received this communique, and, if so, why they have not chosen to print it. Perhaps they fear starting a panic. I feel strongly that the truth, no matter how alarming, trivial or disgusting, must always be told. I am pleased to report that the words below are at least not disgusting:

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!

People of the United States, why is everyone yelling at you??? Whatever happened to ... you know, everything? Why is the news dominated by nutballs saying that the Ten Commandments have to be tattooed inside the eyelids of every American, or that Allah has told them to kill Americans in order to rid the world of Satan, or that Yahweh has instructed them to go live wherever they feel like, or that Shiva thinks bombing mosques is a great idea? Sister Immaculate Dagger of Peace notes for the record that we mean no disrespect to Jews, Muslims, Christians or Hindus. Referred back to the committee of the whole for further discussion.

http://articles.sfgate.com/2005-04-08/entertainment/17367067_1_god-unitarian-jihad-serenity

[EFerrari]

10. .

[pipi_k]

13. Shit. I hope I don't get deported

Most of my ancestors came down to New England from Canada in the 1800s. I don't even know if they did it legally...

Not that Montreal isn't a nice place to live and all, but I don't know anyone there

:scared:



PS...that sort of explains why I like "Big Yellow Taxi" though.

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

14. Actually there are lots of Canadian illegals, especially in Arizona

Thousands of Canadian retires live in the US year round without a visa, when they are only allowed to stay for 180 days. Interestingly enough, this group attracts little interest,
Another large group of illegals is white South Africans, mostly concentrated in Florida, again they attract very little interest, they enter on a tourist visa and never leave.

It intrigues me how white immigrants legal or not are never accused of stealing jobs and white illegal immigrants are never described as "illegal aliens" or "wetbacks" and are universally ignored. But oh no, don't dare call it racism.

[KamaAina]

15. Thanks for the tip!

Now Sheriff Joke can focus his enforcement* efforts around donut shops, Phoenix Coyotes home games, and any store that's holding a clearance sale. :sarcasm:

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

16. I look forward to hearing about a raid on the JC Penny outlet at Arizona Mills