Six years ago today, my health took a decided turn for the worse…

[WCGreen]

"I do not remember much about those last few days of May, but I do remember being taken to the Fairview Hospital in an ambulance. I remember seeing Laurie all white and ashen. I remember that I could not catch my breath and that I was panting instead of breathing. I remember the bright lights of the hospital and people shouting my name asking me what was wrong, what I had done and what day it was.

And most of all, I remember the searing pain that shot through my chest every time I tried to take anything more than a pant of air."

http://mylungtransplantyears.wordpress.com/about

the newest entry to my Lung Transplant Blog...

[old mark]

1. Good to be a survivor - rec'd. Thanks for the post.....nt

[Oceansaway]

2. thanks...n/t

[CTyankee]

3. You had a condition called "ICU psychosis" when you hallucinated.

I had the same thing during an extensive hospitalization (3 surgeries in 3 weeks...not recommended). I have since learned that it is brought on in ICU because you are sleep deprived. It's funny because later when we on DU were all discussing the different forms of torture the Bush admin. were using, sleep deprivation was mentioned. As you well know, what you say when you are sleep deprived is not exactly anchored to reality!

Good luck to you WC. I hope to read your posts here at DU for a very long time in the coming years...

[WCGreen]

4. thank you...

The bulk of my remembered hallucinations occured after I was out of the real ICU.

I was definatly sleep deprived even when I was in the Rehab.

These spells were crazy real.

I could be getting my Lung Transplant as early as October...

[tavalon]

6. How do you know that?

I mean, that would be great, but don't you have to wait for a matching donor? I'll admit, my specialty isn't transplants so I could be confused.

[CTyankee]

8. I am so happy for you, getting your transplant!

You've been thru so much. It's a wonder we come out of these things whole, isn't it? Your victory warms my heart...

As for the hallucinations, I remember them as crystal clear, which I find amazing. But your testimony just reinforces what I thought. To this day I don't accurately remember the step down unit I was in after my 3rd surgery (I describe it to my husband and he just shakes his head). My hallucinations were benign compared to yours...once I thought I was on a train and I could swear I felt the "sway"!

This experience has given me a new way of thinking about the human brain. The suspension of my rational view of reality really interests, and does disturb, me. I think I can better understand what happens to people with psychiatric problems or delirium as a result of extreme alcoholism...I am humbled by this knowledge...

Again, my very deepest wishes for your continued progress...take care...

[tavalon]

5. Even though I have your blog bookmarked,

when you post here, it reminds me to go over and peruse. I missed a few installments. The one about being kicked out of the hospital too early was poignant. These days, that happens all the time. I hate it. One of the many things I hate about our "health care" system based on money instead of health.

I used to love being a home health nurse partly because I was given more leeway to decide when a patient could do things without my help (that's probably changed in the ensuing decade since I did that) but also because the power dynamic shifted. When I walked into a patient's house, I was in their territory and it was just a little bit more balanced. When a person is in the hospital, one is completely reliant on the caregivers for everything and it's a very authoritarian culture, something I've never been down with.

Last year when I was hospitalized (nurses and doctors really are the worst at being patients because we don't hand over our power easily or with much grace) I noticed how quickly I reverted to being dependent - they control everything!

I sure do hope that when you get new lungs, you can leave hospitals behind a bit. As you know, you will never leave pharmaceuticals and your doctor behind but even that is better than having to be in the hospital. I'm glad you have a good doctor. It's really hard to get through such a big thing with a crappy doctor.

[bobbolink]

12. "it's a very authoritarian culture" Thank you for sharing that.

I'm glad to know there are medical personnel who understand what its like.

Best to you.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. Your story is compelling...

I've taken care of patients who were ill the way you were, so I'm familiar with that side of the bed.

It's quite eye-opening to see the patient's viewpoint.

K&R

Thank you, Chris...

[donco6]

9. Damn. Those hallucinations were something else!

Wow. The POW camp at least sounds kinda exciting. And with Spiderman's boss's son - cool! I'm not sure Kimchee through the feeding tube sounds that great tho.

When I was in the hospital, my roommate kept having nightmares about seeing the Devil. He'd wake up in the middle of the night yealling, "O God! O God!" His wife eventually had to come and stay in the room on a folding cot.

[WCGreen]

10. Oh there are a lot more coming....

I was in that state for over three weeks...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

11. .

:kick: