Jan. 21, 2001: The Onion's Headline "Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Over"

[SteppingRazor]

I had forgotten about this until the other day, and just posted it in another thread but thought it should get its own. If you haven't read it yet, definitely worth reading. Funny and horrifically prescient:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784

<snip>
"My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

Bush swore to do "everything in power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years. "You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further.

<snip>


I've never been able to properly answer the question: If a goddamn fake newspaper could get it right, why not all the real ones?

[ChairmanAgnostic]

1. two reasons. Stewart. Colbert.

that's why.
Because our nation is so fucked up under bush.

[dairydog91]

2. Well, mostly right...

On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession
From an economic standpoint, tax cuts don't directly cause recession, but they do cause budget deficits, necessitating more debt and/or a tax hike, which decreases consumer spending, and so on and so forth.

Edit - Tax cuts, theoretically, cause economic expansion (There's simply more money for consumers to spend). It is not true that they automatically "pay for themselves", or that they're guaranteed to cause expansion, but it's bizarre from an economics standpoint to claim that their is a solid link between tax cuts and recession.

[SteppingRazor]

4. Oy. It's The Onion, not The Economist.

No need to be so literal. I mean, even granted what you're saying, it's still shockingly prescient, no?

[dairydog91]

8. I just took an econ exam...

If that explains my pickiness :puke:

Yeah, and I do agree that that article does make it sound as if the Onion has a time machine in the basement.

[trotsky]

5. Where those tax cuts are applied, can enter into the equation.

Give significant cuts to the investor class, and they might just send that money to their investments overseas - taking money OUT of the US economy and contributing to, or exacerbating, a US recession.

[waiting for hope]

3. This is just too much:

"Bush swore to do "everything in power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"


All this prior to 9/11 - who would have thought?

[intheflow]

6. kick

[Scriptor Ignotus]

7. I saw Chris Rock on Inside the Actor's Studio last night

and he said (he may have been quoting Seinfeld) "all good comics are psychics".

How true, how true.

[BrklynLiberal]

9. How scary is it that their "absurd" joke turned out to be the most accurate prediction of the Bush

Years?

[Initech]

10. VERY!!!

:nuke: