"Gingrich threatens my divorce" Hilarious destruction of Republican "family values"

[DFW]

This came out last year, so apologies if it was posted then, and I missed it:

Newt Gingrich’s latest marriage is destroying the fabric of my potential divorce

May 17, 2009 by William K. Wolfrum

Coming from a conservative upbringing, I have long held strong beliefs about marriage and the commitment that comes with eventually destroying said marriage. So when I married more than seven years ago, I set out on a path to make mine the most traditional marriage and divorce as possible. As my marriage has evolved, I have followed conservative principles as best as I could so I could have the type of marriage that emulated those of American heroes John McCain, Ronald Reagan and Rudy Giuliani. These men had cleared a path showing us all that wives were to be cheated on and then divorced.

Like these great men before me, I have spent a lot of time fighting with my wife, losing interest in her, being mentally and emotionally cruel to her and finally ignoring her entirely. According to the examples set for me, I was showing myself to be the perfect heterosexual husband. A well-earned divorce would most assuredly be mine.

But things have not worked out as I had planned. My wife has shown herself to be openly hostile to myself and my traditional divorce beliefs. At first, I believed that it was something I had done, but I realized this couldn’t be the case. Then I pondered on whether witches or other evil spirits had invaded my wife. My tests on this theory remain inconclusive. But it helped lead me to the ultimate explanation – the fabric of my divorce is being destroyed by Catholic leader Newt Gingrich.

Gingrich, you see, had long been the best example of what heterosexual marriage is all about. He would marry women, tire of them, cheat on them, and then divorce them. His conservative leadership in heterosexual marriage has been invaluable for millions of earnest, Christian, heterosexual men to follow.

whole blog here: http://www.williamkwolfrum.com/2009/05/17/newt-gingrichs-latest-marriage-is-destroying-the-fabric-of-my-potential-divorce/

[Webster Green]

1. Excellent!

K&R!

[opihimoimoi]

2. He is a NASTY Pub.....pure nastiness

[Bitwit1234]

3. Maybe he could explain old Rudit tootie's divorcecapaids.

[DFW]

4. Explain them?

Hell, I think they're in a contest to see who can have the most wives before Alzheimer's sets in,
and they can't remember the first name of the wife they're with at the moment. To complicate things,
Bill Bennett is fast closing in on them as well......

[krispos42]

5. K&R n/t

[DFW]

6. Great cartoon avatar! N/T