The Quotable Compassionate Falwell...Add your own:D

[goodboy]

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.
Jerry Falwell

And the evangelicals, 80 millions of us in America, everyone knows we're the best friends Israel has, the best friends Jewish people around the world, including America, have.
Jerry Falwell

And, these Islamic fundamentalists, these radical terrorists, these Middle Eastern monsters are committed to destroying the Jewish nation, driving her into the Mediterranean, conquering the world.
Jerry Falwell

Any sex outside of the marriage bond between a man and a woman is violating God's law.
Jerry Falwell

Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America.
Jerry Falwell

But I do know the Scientology Church, like the Moslems, has a pretty hard, strong grip on their constituents.
Jerry Falwell

But I don't believe anyone begins a homosexual.
Jerry Falwell

Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions.
Jerry Falwell

Fred Phelps does not give the religious right a bad name, because nobody claims kin to that guy.
Jerry Falwell

God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.
Jerry Falwell

God created the family to provide the maximum love and support and morality and example that one can imagine.
Jerry Falwell

God himself preserved the Bible, and brought it down through the ages.
Jerry Falwell

Homosexuality is Satan's diabolical attack upon the family that will not only have a corrupting influence upon our next generation, but it will also bring down the wrath of God upon America.
Jerry Falwell

I am a Christian.
Jerry Falwell

[Lex]

1. .

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x889618

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

2. "Oh, shit! My che..."

[goodboy]

6. ROFLMFAO! (nt)

[Bluebear]

61. "Macel! Bring me another Krispy Kre...." nt

[WindRavenX]

84. AHAHAHAHAHHA

:rofl:

SNAP :D

[Bjornsdotter]

3. how about this one

I am an asshole.
Jerry Falwell



If he didn't say it, he should have.

Cheers

[Kurovski]

4. 'K

hope I live to see the day, when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!


The Jews are returning to their land of unbelief. They are spiritually blind and desperately in need of their Messiah and Savior.


You say what's going to happen on this earth when the Rapture occurs? You'll be riding along in an automobile; you'll be the driver, perhaps; you're a Christian; there'll be several people in the automobile with you, maybe someone who is not a Christian. When the trumpet sounds, you and the other born-again Christians in that automobile will be instantly caught away, you'll disappear, leaving behind only your clothing and physical things that cannot inherit eternal life. That unsaved person or persons in the automobile will suddenly be startled to find that the car is moving along without a driver, and suddenly somewhere crashes. Those saved people in the car have disappeared. Other cars on the highway driven by believers will suddenly be out of control. Stark pandemonium will occur on that highway and on every highway in the world where Christians are caught away from the world.

[goodboy]

7. EXCELLENT! (NT)

[Kurovski]

13. Yes, let us pay tribute to Falwell's works.

It is fitting and proper to do so.

Gods bless us everyone.

[goodboy]

18. They hate us for our quotations (nt)

[Kurovski]

22. I agree that you are

a very goodboy indeed.

[goodboy]

26. You just made my day;) (nt)

[Kurovski]

37. More of his words.

The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, Sermon, July 4, 1976

But these things speak evil of those things, verse 10 which they know not: but what they know naturally, as brute beasts, in those things they corrupt themselves. Look at the Metropolitan Community Church today, the gay church, almost accepted into the World Council of Churches. Almost, the vote was against them. But they will try again and again until they get in, and the tragedy is that they would get one vote. Because they are spoken of here in Jude as being brute beasts, that is going to the baser lust of the flesh to live immorally, and so Jude describes this as apostasy. But thank God this vile and satanic system will one day be utterly annihilated and there'll be a celebration in heaven.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, "Old Time Gospel Hour" broadcast, March 11, 1984, quoted by Rev Jerry Sloan

[janx]

89. Those three are new to me. The last one is

especially poignant! Picture the pandemonium, the crashes, the carnage!

[Kurovski]

90. Reveling in vengeance.

Almost pornographic.

[janx]

91. No doubt!

And the amazing thing is that people believed what he had to say: that they'd be whisked out of their cars while driving on the freeway and that they were special and so would not crash!

[Kurovski]

92. ...or snag their peckers on the seatbelt or nothin'!

Faith is sometimes just a self-indulgent waste of time.

[janx]

93. That kind of faith is, yes.

But it's so twisted it's funny.

[Kurovski]

96. I think so.

Like a pecker snagged in a seatbelt, holding you back from a trip to heaven.

[janx]

97. YIKES!

:scared:

That would be a good time for some serious prayer.

[gaspee]

5. I'm still looking for the exact quotes

But in the 60's Falwell used the Bible to insist that segregation was god's way, that black people were inferior and immoral, and that black people had all the civil rights they needed.

He started his schools for the express purpose of keeping education all white.

[gaspee]

14. Here we go:

http://onepeoplesproject.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=75&Itemid=29

[goodboy]

20. EVERYONE should read your post there;)

[EFerrari]

24. Oh, Christ, he has a twin?

One wasn't enough?

[janx]

73. Very informative--thanks.

I never knew he had a twin--yikes!

[Kurovski]

19. The bible sez that slavery is totally kewl, dude!!!

The Bible is the inerrant...word of the living God. It is absolutely infallible, without error in all matters pertaining to faith and practice, as well as in areas such as geography, science, history, etc.

Jerry Falwell

[Bluzmann57]

8. Ok, here's one

or two.
Not sure of the exact wording but he said that USA deserved 9/11 because of the homosexuals and other immoral behavior and he also said, "This tape proves Hillary Clinton is guilty of murdering Vince Foster." I actually heard him say that last one.

[goodboy]

11. I remember the "we deserved 9/11" quote...

I'd really like to find an exact quote for the Vince Foster Clintonian murder mystery.

[Bluzmann57]

23. I will look around

but I distinctly remember once, on a Sunday morning, I was flipping through the channels on the TV and came across that lovely bit of propaganda. Someone, I don't remember who, was selling this videotape on Falwell's show, for lack of a better word. And it was Falwell himself who said those words. There were very few computers back then, so I couldn't email him, and decided that writing him wasn't worth my time.

[malaise]

100. Falwell on Hillary Clinton

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/politics/2003272973_jerry24.html

"I certainly hope that Hillary is the candidate," Falwell said, according to the recording. "She has $300 million so far. But I hope she's the candidate. Because nothing will energize my like Hillary Clinton."

Cheers and laughter filled the room as Falwell continued: "If Lucifer ran, he wouldn't."

Falwell's voice is then drowned out by hoots of approval. But two in attendance, including a Falwell staff member, confirmed that Falwell said that even Lucifer, the fallen angel synonymous with Satan in Christian theology, would not mobilize his followers as much as the New York senator and former first lady.

One critic who has been observing the conference said Saturday that Falwell's words offered a rare glimpse into how religious conservative leaders are planning to inflame opposition to the Democrats with below-the-radar messages.

"He was calling Hillary Clinton a demonic figure and openly arguing that God is a Republican," said the Rev. Barry Lynn, director of the advocacy group Americans United for Separation of Church and State. "It's hard to know whether people thought he was joking or serious, but once you start using religious imagery and invoking a politician in this way, it's not funny."

[no_hypocrisy]

9. True Story

Ca. 1978 JF was visiting his urologist. The urologist wanted to "test" his patient as far as his beliefs. The doctor asked, "Jerry, what do you call a man who loves another man?" JF's eyes lit up like Christmas tree lights and exclaimed, "Why, a homosexual of course!". The doctor waited a beat and thoughtfully responded, "Gee, that's funny, because when I was growing up, I was always told that IT WAS A CHRISTIAN".

Think about that during eternity Reverend Falwell.

[TlalocW]

29. How do you know that's a true story?

Where does it come from?

TlalocW

[no_hypocrisy]

31. Because the urologist told his rabbi (the only one in Lynchburg) who

told our class ("History of Judaism") during the fall semester at school when he was a visiting lecturer. And . . . . let me add this was 1978 before any of us knew who Jerry Falwell was going to become.

[janx]

41. HAHA! I'd love to know the name of that rabbi. n/t

[no_hypocrisy]

44. I wonder if he's still alive or living in Lynchburg.

[janx]

49. I hope, for his sake, that he is not living in Lynchburg.

;-)

[JackBeck]

10. "God Almighty does not hear the prayer of a Jew"

[goodboy]

15. Hypocrisy, in 5...4...3...2...>>>>>>>>>...

And the evangelicals, 80 millions of us in America, everyone knows we're the best friends Israel has, the best friends Jewish people around the world, including America, have.
Jerry Falwell

[whistle]

12. I think if there is a heaven with a purgatory, Saint Peter will assign Falwell to

...that purgatory for a millennium of 12 step recovery programs beginning with AA (assholes anonymous) and working him back through various steps until either his humanity is restored or he will be sent to the devil who Falwell seems to spend so much of his time on earth studying, dissecting, comparing his fellow human travelers with and prejudging them by placing them in hell for all of eternity.

[goodboy]

16. I think

it'd take a helluva lot more than 12 steps to restore his sub-humanity.

but I like your style;)

[whistle]

76. Well, I was thinking he would need all 12 step programs: 12 X 12 X 12

[goodboy]

95. hmmm...is that anything like 6X6X6

[BuyingThyme]

17. "Mom looked better than a Baptist whore..."

...

"Falwell" goes on to say that he was so intoxicated that "Mom looked better than a Baptist whore with a $100 donation," that he decided to have sex with his mother since she had "showed all the other guys in town such a good time," and that they had intercourse regularly afterwards.

...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hustler_Magazine_v._Falwell

[goodboy]

21. Coffee really stings when it comes out the nose...FYI (nt)

[whistle]

81. We may have our weapons to bring down Bush/Cheney and the BushCo cabal

...extreme satirical parodies:

<snip>

The court stated that satire (even outrageous satire) has a long and important history in America and that the Founding Fathers had specifically intended for the First Amendment to protect these types of parodies. The court cited many examples of famous, if bitingly satirical, political cartoons, "from the early cartoon portraying George Washington as an ass down to the present day." The Court paid particular attention to the cartoons of Thomas Nast, whose cartoons ridiculed the corruption of Tammany Hall and helped bring about the downfall of Boss Tweed. The court noted that Nast's cartoons were successful because of their emotional impact, which arose out of going "beyond the bounds of good taste and conventional manners." <end>

Funny people, "Bring it on" with "shock and awe"!

[jhain]

25. Falwell compared allowing a child to identify as gay with allowing children to play on interstate

http://atheism.about.com/b/a/189431.htm

Falwell compared allowing a child to identify as gay with allowing children to play on the interstate and dismissed psychologists’ claims that consent is fundamental to a healthy counseling relationship and that parents should not force their gay kids into therapy.

***

Nick goes on to point out that Jerry Falwell isn’t exactly svelte and fit, despite the fact that there are biblical condemnations of gluttony. Moreover, it’s undeniable that obesity and unhealthy eating lead to all sorts of serious health conditions while merely being homosexual isn’t dangerous — certainly nothing like playing on a freeway. So, does Falwell adhere to any of this own standards, or is he too busy trying to regulate other people’s lives to have enough time manage his own properly?

[goodboy]

27. Gotta love the irony...It was gluttony...a deadly sin...

that got him in the end, probably.

[Kurovski]

28. I can hear the sounds of Tinky Winky weeping.

In 1999 Falwell alerted the nation to the danger that Tinky Winky from "Teletubbies" might be gay.

[goodboy]

30. HAHAH AHAHAH AHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHHAHA (nt)

[dogday]

32. I don't remember being taught that Christians ask no

questions? That is how they will be deceived, and that is how Falwell deceived many....

[goodboy]

33. Very true...why do you hate America? (nt)

[goodboy]

34. THE MOTHER OF ALL FALWELL QUOTES, RIGHT HERE! >>>

"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say "you helped this happen.""

REGARDING the 9/11/01 Attack on the United States.

[Kurovski]

35. Yep, that's the one that got him in a heap of trouble.

He apologized, but then his son turned around and used that event to raise money for the family con operation.

They sent out letters stating that the "heathens" (or whatever) were attacking his father's message and please send us dough to continue the fight.

It was especially slimy.

[goodboy]

42. I remember that too. (nt)

[mikeytherat]

36. "...blow them all away in the name of the Lord."

"But you've got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops. And I'm for the president to chase them all over the world. If it takes 10 years, blow them all away in the name of the Lord."

http://www.baptiststandard.com/postnuke/index.php?module=htmlpages&func=display&pid=2518

mikey_the_rat

[malaise]

38. Great thread

One more evil man departs. No tears here.

[goodboy]

68. Did you feel the world get lighter after this moran departed? *nt

[hfojvt]

39. I find this troubling

what is so bad about this?

God created the family to provide the maximum love and support and morality and example that one can imagine.
Jerry Falwell

or this?

And the evangelicals, 80 millions of us in America, everyone knows we're the best friends Israel has, the best friends Jewish people around the world, including America, have.
Jerry Falwell

or this?

Fred Phelps does not give the religious right a bad name, because nobody claims kin to that guy.
Jerry Falwell

this is kinda funny, because I thought sure it was Clinton, or Betty Friedan or the head of the ACLU

Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America.
Jerry Falwell

[Solon]

99. It has to do with background of the man who said those, rather than the quotes themselves...

God created the family to provide the maximum love and support and morality and example that one can imagine.
Jerry Falwell

Falwell defined "family" as one man, one woman, and 1.5 kids. OK, I was joking, somewhat on the kids part, but that's the gist of it. Any other form was considered, by him, against God's law, etc.

And the evangelicals, 80 millions of us in America, everyone knows we're the best friends Israel has, the best friends Jewish people around the world, including America, have.

This is the same guy who said that God doesn't hear a Jew's prayers, and that Israel is a the land of unbelief. You have to remember, he was a rapturist, and as such, believes that Israel MUST be run by Jews before the rapture can happen. That's where his support began and ended, Jews themselves were of little consequence to him, he was borderline anti-semitic.

Fred Phelps does not give the religious right a bad name, because nobody claims kin to that guy.

This is simply a denial, do you honestly think that Falwell of all people actually disapproved of the guy's beliefs?

Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America.

This was a theological condemnation, but you have to remember that, to people like Falwell and Graham, ANYONE who disagrees with them is in league with Satan.

[janx]

105. Thanks for having the patience to explain these things.

People who are unfamiliar with Falwell's background are understandably confused sometimes.

[janx]

40. Best Falwell thread yet...

because reviewing his own words is the most appropriate way to remember him on the day he died!

[goodboy]

43. VERY WELL SAID...in fact

I really wanted to post something about those "we shouldn't say these things out of respect for the dead" or "we're better than this" crowd:

<>

Pick a cross, and nail yourself to it.

[janx]

45. HA!

Well, you succeeded in posting a most succinct thread to honor Rev. Falwell. You did not dance on his grave. You did not revile him.

You simply quoted him. Good work!

[goodboy]

46. Thank you my friend., Thanks for being a part of it (nt)

[janx]

50. I wouldn't have missed it for anything.

A dear friend of mine got taken in by this guy in the late 70s. I'll never forget it.

[goodboy]

51. I'm sorry for your friend, who became his victim. It's gonna take a long time

to undo the damage that this fuck caused. But we'll get there...

I'll be with you all the way.

[janx]

55. My friend was (typically) very vulnerable when she got

involved, and she got very involved. It was at the beginning of the "Moral Majority." She met her husband at Liberty University, which wasn't even accredited at the time. JER married them.

[goodboy]

63. no shit. wow. (nt)

[janx]

66. Yep.

They're nice people--they had five kids and home schooled all of them--and they DID eventually leave Mr. Falwell's "church."

[goodboy]

70. That's great news. (nt)

[ScreamingMeemie]

47. Okily dokily...

""I listen to feminists and all these radical
gals - most of them are failures. They've blown it.
Some of them have been married, but they married
some Casper Milquetoast who asked permission
to go to the bathroom. These women just need a man
in the house. That's all they need. Most of the
feminists need a man to tell them what time of day
it is and to lead them home. And they blew it
and they're mad at all men. Feminists hate men.
They're sexist. They hate men - that's their
problem"

Rev. Jerry Falwell


I do not believe the homosexual community deserves
minority status. One's misbehavior does not qualify
him or her for minority status. Blacks, Hispanics,
women, etc., are God-ordained minorities who do indeed
deserve minority status.
Rev. Jerry Falwell, USA Today Chat, quoted from The
Religious Freedom Coalition, "The Two faces of
Jerry Falwell"





"I do question the sincerity and non-violent
intentions of some civil rights leaders such as
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mr. James Farmer, and
others, who are known to have left-wing associations.
Rev. Jerry Falwell

"There are almost as many alcoholics as there
are negroes."
Rev. Jerry Falwell



If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure
as a human being.
Rev. Jerry Falwell

[janx]

48. THANK YOU!

:hi:

[goodboy]

59. THANK YOU MRS> GRUMPY!!! MWAH! (nt)

[janx]

52. Another tidbit (AP story on Yahoo):

In 1999, he told an evangelical conference that the Antichrist was a male Jew who was probably already alive. Falwell later apologized for the remark but not for holding the belief. A month later, his National Liberty Journal warned parents that Tinky Winky, a purple, purse-toting character on television's "Teletubbies" show, was a gay role model and morally damaging to children.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070515/ap_on_re_us/jerry_falwell_21

[goodboy]

64. memories...like the corners of my..ahem...sorry. *nt

[Swamp Rat]

53. "Blow them all away in the name of the Lord."

[goodboy]

57. Should be Osama Bin FAREWELL! love ya swamprat (nt)

[Redstone]

54. Piling on IS justified in this case. Keep at it; no complaints from me.

Redstone

[goodboy]

56. REDSTONE! Long time no see! How are you this fine day? (nt)

[Redstone]

60. Doing OK, thanks for asking. And a fine day it is; I cut out of work early and am

hanging out on the screen porch for a while. Oh, yes.

And God woke up from His 20-year nap and whacked Falwell. Those other a-holes better duck and cover!

Redstone

[goodboy]

62. ROFL...I've been the porch honkey today my damn self.

Feels real naaaaaaaaaaaace.

[janx]

58. kick

I don't wanna see this thread sink! We should all take a moment and review the life of this great man through his own words.

[Kurovski]

71. That's a beautiful and inspirational thought

and so, :kick: donkey-kick for 'ol Jerry.

[janx]

72. This thread needs some more recommendations! n/t

[NoPasaran]

83. Happy to do it! n/t

[Behind the Aegis]

65. Here's one...

While I am a strong supporter of the State of Israel and dearly love the Jewish people and believe them to be the chosen people of God, I continue to stand on the foundational biblical principle that all people — Baptists, Methodists, Pentecostals, Jews, Muslims, etc. — must believe in the Lord Jesus Christ in order to enter heaven.
Jerry Falwell

[janx]

67. !!!!!!!! n/t

[sniffa]

69. from hustLer magazine

FALWELL: I never really expected to make it with Mom, but then after she showed all the other guys in town such a good time, I figured, "What the hell!"

[janx]

74. This freeper posts that just last Sunday, in church,

Jerry Falwell asked God for 15 more years:

To: april15Bendovr

This past Sunday at church he asked for 15 more years.

166 posted on 05/15/2007 10:37:25 AM PDT by conservativeinferno (My SUV is the urban squirrel's worst predator.)
< Post Reply | Private Reply | To 165 | View Replies >

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1833947/posts?q=1&;page=151

[Kurovski]

82. God answered him right-quick on that request.

[janx]

85. Apparently so!

It was only day before yesterday!

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

75. "I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass."

Barry Goldwater 1981

i hope you don't mind a quote about falwell.

[janx]

77. Oh man, I had forgotten that!

Thanks for the reminder!

[EFerrari]

78. kick

[goodboy]

79. key kiddo...miss you (nt)

[EFerrari]

80. Good to read you.

:kick:

[Habibi]

86. Did somebody post this link already?

Sorry if so: I started partying in honor of the deceased's, erm, deceasement:

http://thinkexist.com/quotes/jerry_falwell/

[janx]

87. Woah--

It's the motherlode collection of Falwell quotes! Thanks!

[Deja Q]

88. Wow.

To knock Billy Graham of all people? That's brazen... and brash.

He should have asked some questions; some of his comments are a little obtuse. The most interesting one pertains to why God created families...

So God created families. God also created corporations. So how come corporations are anti-family?

[Kurovski]

94. Falwell's assignment was to gather up the wackiest and most hate-filled

and deliver them to the Republican Party.

Life's mission accomplished.

Those folks will stay with BushCo unto the bitter end.

[janx]

98. If they weren't wacky and hate-filled already, he made them

so. Some people were just desperate before they joined his cause--or they thought they were.

[Kurovski]

101. Kick.

:kick:

[janx]

104. And another

:kick:

[lpbk2713]

102. *Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms.* -- Josey Wales

[GeorgeGist]

103. Jerry chose to follow his ego ...

and lost his soul. His ego is dead, his former soul is home free. May his legacy be short.

[janx]

106. Did Falwell start this?

“There's been a concerted effort to steal Christmas.”
Jerry Falwell


Does he work in tandem with the wingnut talking heads?

[janx]

107. This one's pretty good...

“Can you imagine the insolence of these protesters? ... They have the audacity to disparage and demean these courageous soldiers who are enduring great physical and emotional trauma because they believed in the effort to bring freedom to Iraq.”

Jerry Falwell

[janx]

108. This one's REALLY good:

“Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them”

Jerry Falwell