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Edited on Tue May-15-07 02:20 PM by rasputin1952
out just what's up.
Seems as though God has a little more time today, what w/Falwell not bugging him every 10 seconds or so about gays, flags and Muslims. But, after spending a couple of minutes on hold, I was told I was being redirected. OK, more phone music, I like harps and strings, but I admit I was getting sleepy.
Cymbals blasting in my ear got my attention real fast, and suddenly I was speaking to one of the more prolific demons of hell. Talk about culture shock!
Anosthelep told me that Gerry was being processed in and could not take any calls, I had to ask him to get off speaker phone, as all of the screaming and gnashing of teeth was somewhat overpowering his voice. Once I got him on a regular line, I could hear a little better, but there was still some pretty intense background noise.
Anosthelep told me that Falwell has to go through orientation, and satan was taking this one on himself. "Not since Pol Pot signed in, have we had so much going on all at once", said Anosthelep, adding, "But I digress, seems as though God finally got around to zapping one of our more prolific orators up there, and although Falwell didn't kill people unmercifully, he sure did set the stage for a lot of good old fashioned hate."
"Right now, the elevator is broken, and satan is kicking him down the stairs, to get him into the "Red Room, where he will be flayed, and his skin will be used as a condom for Regarion, he is the demon with a penis made of fishhooks and has an uncontrollable desire to have sex with swine. Much to Gerry's dismay, all of the nerve endings in his skin have been amplified, and he can actually feel pain while his skin is off his body, hear that scream? There he goes! Man I love this job!"
"Later, he will be roasted over the burning hearts of the hypocrites that have preceded him, before his heart is added to the pile. From what I see, it's a small heart, but there is plenty of fat around it. I guess it will have to do...oh, those nerve endings...ALL of his nerves are functioning just fine after the upgrade, pain is a specialty down here."
"After being roasted, looks like he'll be on the spit for a while, he's a hefty guy, his mind will be taken to the Orange Room, where he will have to listen to himself for the rest of eternity. Of course there are a few breaks each day, times when he gets mental images of his body being ravaged by homosexual Tasmanian Devils, he really should have watched what he said about gays up there, God loves all people, but he has a "thing" for hypocrites," said Anosthelep dryly.
"Well, I gotta get back to work", said Anosthelep, "it's been all dancing since Gerry's arrival, and I'm also in charge of the thermostat, and Gerry seems to be a tad cold without his skin, time to turn up the heat!".
Just before I got cut off, Anosthelep asked me if I'd call Pat Robertson and just tell him that I thought he was doing a "fantastic job", but, I was warned, "don't say I sent the message", Anosthelep whispered, "we don't want to lose another one."
Me, I'm gonna get out the xanax, and forget I made the call...:scared:
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