I hope God is a Black lesbian with no sense of humor

[nini]

seriously.

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. I can understand that wish. Seriously. n/t

.

[WindRavenX]

2. oh damn.

:evilgrin:

[nini]

5. We should be able to have a Pay for View of the arirval of those hateful assholes

It would be quite entertaining to see the groveling :evilgrin:

[ceile]

3. One can only hope.

And pray. ;)

[Behind the Aegis]

4. And Jewish or Muslim to boot!

:)

[nini]

10. Muslim is good... hehe

:D

[Spazito]

6. CNN aired a clip from a recent interview with falwell, done by

Ms. Amanpour where falwell says he has prayed to God to give him 20 more years. Looks like God gave that a "thumbs down".

[MistressOverdone]

7. You don't think God has a sense of humor?

Look in the mirror when doing the wild thing.

[jpgray]

8. I'd settle for a marginally reasonable and compassionate God. The result would be the same.

[rhiannon55]

9. A Black PAGAN lesbian...

:)

[Blashyrkh]

11. Do you seriously want a god without a sense of humour? Fuck that.

[nini]

12. Of course not...

But that wasn't really my point. :D

[ronnykmarshall]

13. I hope she looks like this .......

I had the pleasure of having Ms Davis blow me a kiss one time. I was marching in a Pro-Choice march in SF one time and someone pointed her out to me. I don't know what came over me, normally I'm so SHY and RESERVED! I caught her eye and yelled "I love you, Angela". She winked, waved and blew me a kiss. :loveya:



She looked more like this when I saw her.

[nini]

17. She's too cool

I wonder if she is still teaching at SF State.

She would be a good God for him to meet..LOL

:hug:

[Madspirit]

14. Hee!!...n/t

[tinfoilinfor2005]

15. Oh, I hope She has a wonderful sense of humor.,..

cuz someday I'll be standing there. gulp.

[nini]

18. This hope is only for today

I'll be right there with you wanting a sense of humor when it's my turn.

[Duncan Grant]

16. In that case I hope it's Audre Lorde.

I could get behind this heaven thing if Audre is in charge.

[mzteris]

19. one of the few times I really do wish that there IS

a God.......

'cause I'd love to see the look on old Jerry's face when the "real GOD" (not the plastic self-serving versions Jerry and his ilk created) gets done with him.

[JerseygirlCT]

20. Oh I think God has a sense of humor.

But I do think it would be fitting for God to appear to Falwell as a very butch black lesbian...

I'd like to think no one is beyond change and learning and redemption. But I can't but help think he's got a few lessons to go yet.

[Martin Eden]

21. I disagree.

I've got no quarrel with the black lesbian part, but c'mon -- God has GOT to have a sense of humor!

I can just picture God scissoring her partner while laughing her big black head off at all the FUBAR she hath wrought for her own amusement -- and if you want Jerry Falwell to suffer, the black queen of all this is will dish out a helluva lot better punishment if she has a sense og humor.

[liberalEd]

22. Actually that sounds kind of scary to me too

Not the black or the lesbian part - but people with no sense of humor give me the willies. What's the point of living if you can't see the funny?

[ourvoicescount]

23. LOL!!!

:rofl:

[BlooInBloo]

24. Waaaay too simple......

I'm imagining Falwell being on the receiving end - a "bottom" - and LOVING it, while hating himself for loving it. At the same time, his beloved daughter is regaling him with stories of being made sweet love to by her black husband, and how she couldn't be happier.

[SoCalDem]

25. In my Rapture story she was..

Cindy Lou & Jim Get Raptured......a cautionary tale
Posted by SoCalDem in General Discussion (01/01/06 through 01/22/2007)
Fri Jul 21st 2006, 07:37 AM
All through the McMansion there has been a super-charged atmosphere for weeks, as the family gets ready for their big trip.. Cindy cannot tear herself from the TV. Fox News is sending her "signals"..It's all falling into place.. It's TIME to get ready..The anticipation is so great that the whole family is almost in danger of being mistaken for Shakers..

Sometimes it seems as if there is too much to do, to ever get ready, but then this trip requires no packing (all worldly goods will be left behind)...but Jim has faithfully been washing and waxing the cars..(cleanliness IS next to Godliness, after all)

Cindy Lou still has Consuela dust all the treasures and wax the antique furniture.

The best part of the whole anticipation is that Cindy Lou has finally been able to give up that darned daily trip to the gym. She wonders aloud sometimes, if her gym-buddies miss her. (Jesus loves her just as she is). Of course while the pre-Rapture time passes, there's no need to pass up all those "forbidden fruits"...and she's not talking about APPLES..

Gluttony is a sin, but even Jesus will surely be in favor of the family savoring the last few bits of "worldly goods", so the Domino's guy has been getting a real workout, and those "all-you-can-eat" places are a treasure too (especially the dessert table), now that dieting is not necessary. Those expensive size 2's can just hang there for all eternity.. Cindy Lou won't be needing them when she meets Jesus.

Jim is having a "wardrobe" quandary though, and has faithfully been researching the exact time-frame of the rapture itself.. You see, he is wondering if he should swallow those little pills as he gets raptured, because if he puts them in his pockets, they will get left behind. He's hoping that things "up there" will be so perfect that the little pills won't be necessary for his issues "down there", but the Bible does say "Always Be Prepared"...(or.. that was the boy scouts manual.)... anyway he's thinking that if he swallows them really fast, he and Cindy Lou can truly "christen" their new digs up there with Jesus. Surely Jesus will be distracted at SOME point, what with all the fellow Christians arriving en masse.. Perhaps they can sneak off to a secluded place and have some privacy. Rumor has it that privacy still might exist "up there"..

The children are have a few difficulties preparing for their journey. Sixteen year old Tiffani swears it's because she's rather attached to her charge cards, and her Morris Minor, but unbeknownst to the parents, it's really because her secret boyfriend just happens to be named Carlos, and being Catholic, he's being left behind. This will come as good news to his Mom, Consuela.

Jacob Lucas (aged 18, and a freshman in college) is not all that happy to leave his friends. He's seriously thinking of converting to the Baha'i faith just in case. He says he will, but he may not actually have time, since Mom & Dad are pretty sure this whole thing's going down pretty soon. Jake has always been a procrastintor, so he still carries around the unread flyers about the faith. He may get around to reading them after the Beer Bash this weekend.

One good thing about the rapture is that Mom & Dad have given him full use of the credit cards, so he's having a really great time driving around in the Hummer, and filling it up with premium..(no one's going to actually have to pay the bill anyway). His friends are enjoying the fact that Jake's paying no matter where they go or how much the tab is.

Both kids really want to stay behind, especially if it means that Mom & Dad WON'T be staying, but in their heart of hearts they know they too will probably end up raptured too, so they plan on having as much fun as they can while they can.



whooooooosh.....

Cindy Lou looks around and is a bit startled to see some blank stares, where she expected smiles...but then, dental work apparently gets left behind too.. It's rather stuffy, and smells faintly of fish sauce and Shalimar perfume. There are quite a few bald men (toupees get left too), but at least blonde women are not extinct here..

She and her family take cuts to speed up their turn to get to the front of the line..

Finally it's their turn..

Well THAT was a big surprise..

It turns out that the Rapture is not what they expected. It's really about attonement, and there's been someone keeping score. Apparently being nice to only the people you LIKE, is not that much of a virtue, and not paying your fair share is not acceptable either.The rapture seems to be the protestant version of Purgatory..and Cindy Lou's not a happy camper.. The scene from that old movie keeps running through her mind.. "IT'S A COOKBOOK"!!

So, for eternity they get to defy gravity, BUT, they must look down for all eternity and see what they have left behind..they must watch as Carlos drives that shiny Hummer, and checks the time on Jim's Rolex..Cindy has to watch as Consuela puts her FEET up on that Chippendale table while she and her family wait for their catered meal to arrive. She has to watch Consuela interview housekeepers..She has to watch as Consuela pours her expensive perfume (Freedom Perfume) into the bath water.. She has to watch as Consuela puts her precious shitzu, Mitzi-Pitzi on the back porch.

The "left behinders" are very tired.. They have spent days just picking shit up.. Its been a veritable "Easter Egg Hunt"..with Faberge eggs..and gems...and cell phones dancing on concrete..and designer clothes..and those damned little blue pills.. The neighborhood dogs are going CRAZY after mistaking them for doggy treats... All over the place people are saying THANK YOU JESUS FOR TAKING THESE ASSHOLES OFF OUR HANDS..as they survey their new digs, and toodle around on less crowded freeways.

PS..God is a Divorced Gay Black Woman named Edith...she wears a purple, beaded caftan with Mardi Gras beads..and red flip-flops...Jesus is half black-half Chinese


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[nini]

28. excellent

Edith works too ;-)

[treestar]

26. IA except for the part about the sense of humor

I want her to have a sense of humor. And to deal with Jerry accordingly.

:rofl:

[Zomby Woof]

27. heh heh

I got ya! No sense of humor when ripping him a new asshole. Not some kind of permanent state of being. :D

Then she can resume fucking with the Cosmic Whoopee Cushion called "Earth". :P

[nini]

29. yep... no sense of humor applies to him getting his just reward!

the reward being more of a smackdown. :D