The "Try Real Hard To Say Something Nice About Falwell" Thread

[Warren DeMontague]

My momma always taught me that, if you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all.. And I've done a fairly decent job of completely ignoring that advice all these years.

Particularly, in the case of someone as downright noxious as the now late Theocratic Windbag Jerry Falwell, such a mandate is challenging, to say the least. But Eris knows I don't need the bad karma of excessively rippin' on the guy now that he's shuffled off to what I suspect is an "afterlife" vastly different than anything he ever pontificated about.

So let's think of some nice stuff to say about the guy. Here, I'll start:

He had very rosy cheeks, and his head looked like a big pink marshmallow...

I like marshmallows.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

1. He's dead.

:thumbsup:

[nosmokes]

10. ya beat me to it! n/t

[L. Coyote]

14. In the final analysis, "We are ALL one family.

But some of us are a lot funnier!
AND, politics is sure a lot of fun for us ALL too.

The 1,099 Trillion Principle.
How many ancestors do we have?

http://jqjacobs.net/anthro/ancestors.html

[Justitia]

2. He's gone and that's nice. -eom

[Arugula Latte]

3. Both his first name and his last name had double consonants.

That's special. :)

[Czolgosz]

4. He was never afraid to express his opinions, no matter how offensive or insane.

[valerief]

5. He didn't picket funerals. nt

[Solly Mack]

6. He'll feed some bugs and I like bugs

[devilgrrl]

7. He was really good at hording money a being a bigot

eom

[Connie_Corleone]

8. He looked jolly.

[RetroLounge]

9. He died before the 2008 election so I don't have to seehis face on TV

:shrug:

RL

[cally]

11. He launched a successful political empire

that the left didn't see coming until they gained too much power.

[TayTay]

12. He never strangled dogs or chickens for profit

That i know of. Maybe.

[JVS]

13. On 9/11 he didn't scapegoat middle-easterners.

Sure he scapegoated, gays, "abortionists", pagans, etc. But he at least didn't engage in the all too common scapegoating of middle-easterners.

[133724]

15. If you can't say something good don't say anything at all. He's dead...Good...

sorry for the plagiarism but it is a good quote...

[JohnLocke]

16. He eventually stopped being a segregationist.

[NoPasaran]

17. As Randi Rhodes said, he was never afraid to look like an idiot

[ScreamingMeemie]

18. n/t

[TahitiNut]

19. He'll feed a brand new morel majority ...

[L. Coyote]

23. Morels are saprophytic. Money collectors are parasites.

[NMDemDist2]

20. he dressed well

that's the best I can do I'm afraid

[Contrary1]

21. This article is about a recently deceased person.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Falwell

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

22. he was never late for dinner.

[Crunchy Frog]

24. The ample amount of lard he's carrying with him to Hell

should burn very nicely.

I'm sorry. That really is about the best I can do.

Edited to add: I like toasted marshmallow.

[Jim Warren]

25. He was really good

at instilling fear into senior citizens and coercing them into donating money to his corporation......particularly around the first of every month.

[Flubadubya]

26. Oops, sorry... wrong thread!

:dilemma:

[Jim Warren]

27. He was wonderful

at instilling fear into senior citizens and coercing them into donating money to his corporation......particularly around the first of every month.

[Duncan Grant]

28. He inspired a great bumpersticker:

The moral majority is neither. :thumbsup:

[Rick Myers]

29. In court, he claimed he never fu*ked his mother....

sorry...

[Solly Mack]

48. ROFLMAO

[L. Coyote]

30. In the realm of Make Believe, he really was a peerless human being.

And he knew how to empty people's pockets and make them feel really good about it.

[tandot]

31. Thanks for dying?

We have one hater less on this earth.

[sheerjoy]

32. He gave his heart and soul to Christ

and laid the foundaton for great ministries.

[Arugula Latte]

37. Holy crap ...

where is your :sarcasm: tag?

[Megahurtz]

63. LOL! n/t

[Duncan Grant]

47. Oh, gag me.

He laid somethin' alright.

[Kerrytravelers]

49. Bwwwwaaaaahhhhh !!!!!!!! **snort**

:rofl:

That was funny!

[leftchick]

61. that is a joke

right?

[kwolf68]

68. Great ministries indeed

What is the definition of great? Hateful? Judgemental? Divisive? Vitriolic? Insane? Fascist?

If falwell's like really could rule this nation, we'd have our own unique version of Nuremburg right here.

[Warren DeMontague]

73. Really? Because it seems to me his agenda was pretty political.

And he laid the foundation for much of what we, today, consider the religious right.

And the religious right is DIRECTLY responsible for that disastrous idiot in the White House.

So what are the worldly "accomplishments" of Falwell and his "great ministries" that you agree with?

[timtom]

33. Oh, no!

I haven't read any replies yet, but the first 2 trumped mine which would have been....

"The best I can say is simply the truth: He's dead, Jim."

[npincus]

34. he knew how to pick a nice hooker

oh wait, confusing him with Jimmy Swaggart.

OK... I'm trying to think of a nice thing...

[SoCalDem]

35. he probably had a nioe lawn n/t

[proud patriot]

36. He inspired a great Metallica song

Leper messiah

[LTR]

64. Lyrics

Spineless from the start, sucked into the part
circus comes to town, you play the lead clown
Please, please
spreading his disease, living by his story
Knees, knees
falling to your knees, suffer for his glory
You will

Time for lust, time for lie
time to kiss your life goodbye
Send me money, send me green
Heaven you will meet
Make a contribution
and you'll get a better seat

Bow to Leper Messiah

Marvel at his tricks, need your Sunday pips
blind devotion came, rotting your brain
Chain, chain
Join the endless chain, taken by his glamour
Fame, Fame
Infection is the game, stinking drunk with power
We see

Bow to Leper Messiah

Witchery, weakening
Sees the sheeps are gathering
set the trap, hypnotize
now you follow

Lie.

[renate]

38. he was probably nice to his family

(As long as they weren't gay.)

But other than that.... :shrug:

[KG]

39. he would never wear brown shoes with a blue suit.

[Wiley50]

40. OK, I'll Try Real Hard. uuh, I'm Thinking.... Oh! Well at least He's Dead Now n/t

[HuskerDU]

41. The man liked sports.

I like sports too.

[wakemeupwhenitsover]

42. Just by being, he made us liberals look smarter, better educated,

& more compassionate.

[TankLV]

43. Let's see...

(crickets chirping)

He's gone - that's nice - very nice - in fact it's GREAT!

[Dukkha]

44. He inspired a lot of donations to GLAAD

so they should send a bouquet to whatever shallow grave they're throwing his bloated naked carcass into.

[libnnc]

45. He was a champ when it came to

conning old folks out of their life's savings.

Good with a stolen dollar, he was.

[Raine]

46. All that hot air

kept everybody warm when in his presence.

[Kerrytravelers]

50. He inspired many to take a hard look at their own personal faith... and not follow him.

[tinfoilinfor2005]

51. He did not waste food. n/t

[Rosemary2205]

58. ya beat me to it. :) nt

[porphyrian]

52. He finally shut the fuck up.

Sorry, that's the best I can muster for the asshole.

[leftofthedial]

53. the fat fuck

never shoved a live gerbil up his own ass on live TV

[Matsubara]

54. He had a decent head of hair for his age.

NT

[opihimoimoi]

55. Now there will be more available food for those in his area.....more water and air too.

[WindRavenX]

56. he;s dead?

:shrug:

[opihimoimoi]

57. Stone Cold

[leftchick]

59. he was stuffed sausage

I love sausage! :)

[Patsy Stone]

60. He contributed to the popularity of the Teletubbies. n/t

[Booster]

62. He was one of the best con artists in history.

[LTR]

65. He made the fundies look like babbling idiots

And for that, I salute him.

[Marie26]

66. Nice stuff

He usually apologized. His lawsuit actually strengthened free speech rights. He was calm & mostly polite in his TV appearances. He seems to have been a good husband & father to his family.

(There - I did it!)

[underseasurveyor]

67. MMmmm

Dear jerry falwell,
Thank you for dying, it is an overwhelming generous gesture. How nice it is that your heart has stopped beating :-)
Sincerely,
TD

PS; I know that you didn't have a heart to begin with but since this is the 'say something nice' thread I had to say it even if it wasn't true. I know that you of all people understand how that goes. Buh-Bye. :evilgrin:


How'd I do:bounce:

[Berry Cool]

69. He gave me a reason to appreciate Larry Flynt

and that wasn't easy.

[omega minimo]

70. Now he knows Truth. Our loving thoughts will sear his soul in the Hell he created for himself

:evilgrin: :loveya:

[Warren DeMontague]

71. I got another one!

As far as I know, he never threw up on the Prime Minister of Japan.

[salin]

72. He left behind some who loved him

and I can have the grace, to empathize with their pain of grief/loss as I would with anyone who has lost someone close to them.

[Warren DeMontague]

74. See? You did it!

Here's another one: As far as I know, he never ranted foul, drunken, and anti-semitic after being pulled over by Malibu Cops.

[salin]

77. Here is an iffy one... to my knowledge,

he never kicked a dog. :shrug:

I have to admit, however, that after reading the news while at work - that I went to a colleague of similar perspectives to tell her the news. I gave no sarcasm in the announcement. But I did chuckle at her response (she was on hold on the phone, and signalled a sarcastic "oh no!" So while I try to be gracious - even for jerks - I have to admit I went for a vicarious dismissive response.

[Warren DeMontague]

79. I agree. The guy's dead, I don't want to be especially mean about it. I'm somewhere in between

giving the occasion way more solemnity than the dude deserves, and marching around my neighborhood in a clown suit with a drum strapped to my belly, playing "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead" on a Kazoo.

...Somewhere in between those two extremes.

[salin]

81. I figure that at some point in the near future

I can go back to disdain per specific actions/statements he made. Yet upon the death of a person I can not jump to that place. Primarily out of respect to those left behind by the person. That grief is real and I respond to it empathetically. After time goes by - then back to laying out my opinions about the actions/statements of the person.

[Wise Child]

75. I saw a promotional video for Liberty University once,

the campus looked alright and he seemed friendly in the video. My brother considered it as a place to go, but I don't think he was seriously considering it.

[AikidoSoul]

76. He made liberals laugh and point fingers at him when he said things n/t

[slj0101]

78. He inspired a lot of cool punk rock songs in the 80's.

[WillyT]

80. He Made Me Thank God I'm An Atheist

:evilgrin:

[melody]

82. I wish he'd lived longer so Bob Wilson's ashes could get flung in his plump face

And I could have said "Gotcha!"

[Warren DeMontague]

83. Well, Bob was always someone who could appreciate the value of a clown.

I'd suspect he's enjoying giving Falwell a tour of the third bardo.

[melody]

84. I'm kinda hoping Bob appeared in front of him at the office and went "boo!"

And then enjoyed giving Falwell a tour of the third bardo. lol