The Republican Debate in a Nutshell (Hilarious!) ------>>>

[Stephanie]

From Roy Edroso at Alicu Blog.

Mods, I have permission from the author to post the whole thing.

http://alicublog.blogspot.com/

DEBATE. Round one

McCAIN: We're fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them blah blah blah. Iraqis are disappointing.

THOMPSON: I too believe Iraqis are disappointing.

ROMNEY: Iraqis should do what I say.

BROWNBACK: Iraqis and Democrats should do what I say.

GIULIANI: Democrats and Republicans should do what I say.

TANCREDO: I agree with Bush.

PAUL: I agree with Reagan.

HUNTER: The Iraqis agree with me.

HUCKABEE: Gotta get it right the first time, that's the main thing. Wo ho, wo ho, wo ho, wo ho ho ho-o-o ho.

GILMORE: America, whattaya think about Iran?

Round two

ROMNEY: I won't raise taxes.

McCAIN: Here's a joke! (laughter)

HUCKABEE: Here's a crazy idea, and a joke! (laughter)

GIULIANI: I cut taxes in New York, and they're all commie bastards.

BROWNBACK: Biofuel will defeat Hugo Chavez.

THOMPSON: I did 1,900 vetoes, and I'll cut into that useless agency, the Centers for Disease Control.

PAUL: I'll cut everything.

GILMORE: I'm a conservative. You other guys, not so much.

HUNTER: Fuck China, help American businesses, especially war profiteers.

TANCREDO: I'll cut everything too.

Round three

GILMORE: Giuliani loves abortion, Huckabee hearts taxes, Romney loves health care for God's sake.

GIULIANI: Well, at least I'm not a liberal.

McCAIN: I was in Vietnam.

HUCKABEE: I actually cut taxes. I'm doggone good and I have a moniker.

ROMNEY: I hate the state I used to be governor of.

BROWNBACK: Yay Reagan, boo Mexicans.

THOMPSON: Yay stem cells, boo destroying embryos.

GIULIANI: Abortion? Goddamn New Yorkers. What could I do?

HUCKABEE: Giuliani celebrates death, I look for lost boy scouts.

BROWNBACK: If you're raped, you should have a baby.

ROMNEY: I am recently and totally pro-life.

TANCREDO: I hate Mexicans. These guys love Mexicans.

McCAIN: Well, at least Mexicans aren't Muslims.

ROMNEY: Mexicans shouldn't get a special pathway. Or doorway. Citizenship! (applause)

McCAIN: Why's everyone looking at me? Abortion!

GIULIANI: I'm not soft. I'm hard! I'm America's Mayor! We need tamper proof IDs! And a fence!

HUNTER: I built a motherfucking fence.

PAUL: We really fucked up in Iraq. (applause)

GIULIANI: 9/11! 9/11! (cheers, gunfire)

PAUL: Fuck you.

McCAIN: I'm sorry about the Confederate flag, but not as sorry as you should be for asking me about it. (cheers, "Dixie")

HUCKABEE: That murderer? Everyone makes mistakes. If I'm elected, no one will go free.

TANCREDO: Global warming is bullshit. Ron Paul is a traitor! (cheers)

Round fucking four

McCAIN: I'm against torture. I was tortured myself. (No applause)

GIULIANI: I'm for torture. (applause) 9/11!

ROMNEY: More imprisonments without trial! Fuck habeus corpus! (applause)

THOMPSON: Colin Powell! Confused you, didn't I, bitches? Asking me about Africa! Sheeit.

BROWNBACK: Fuck the U.N.!

HUNTER: Whatever I did, I wouldn't think about it, thinking's for pussies.

McCAIN: I'm still against torture, despite your invitation to get with the program.

GILMORE: 9/11, Virginia stylee! Fuck the U.N., but with foreplay. I was a prosecutor!

HUCKABEE: Bush said "keep shopping," which was great, but let's all pretend we're making sacrifices, and voting for me would be a good first step.

PAUL: Forget taxes, let's talk torture. I mean, let's get Bin Laden. (deafening silence)

TANCREDO: Jack Bauer! (cheers)

Bullshit minority afterthought

GILMORE: I like black people.

ROMNEY: No Child Left Behind is good for black people.

I don't even know what this is supposed to be

HUNTER: Expanded trade with China may not be an unmixed blessing.

Conclusion: This country is fucked. Our only hope: THROW BATTERIES!

[Cha]

1. And I read huckabee

made a John Edwards "beauty shop" joke the other..these guys are so predictable.

What a tragic joke for the ages.

[Stephanie]

11. He did, and it brought down the house.

What an asshat.

[goclark]

14. A real asshat!

Didn't he say "Beauty" shop instead of Barber Shop?

His little joke was uncalled for and stupid.

Hope it backfires.

[Stephanie]

15. yeah, he basically said "Edwards' a GIRL" and the audience ate it up

There were few moments when the Republicans sought to turn the campaign spotlight on the Democrats, who are embarked on a drive to win back the White House after Bush's two terms.

"We've had a Congress that's spent money like John Edwards at a beauty shop," Huckabee said, mocking the Democratic presidential hopeful's penchant for $400 haircuts.

He did not mention that until January, Congress has been under the control of Republicans for a dozen years.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/05/15/debate.ap/index.html?section=cnn_latest

[MADem]

2. My goodness...that's compellingly ACCURATE!!! n.t

[Stephanie]

22. no kidding

I think it's a transcript.

[whistle]

3. So the whole debate could have been finished in 10 minutes...thanks

[Stephanie]

23. glad I could spare you the trouble of watching

unless you did watch - did you? I caught the rerun and fell asleep just as Rudy was pulling his self-righteous stunt.

[whistle]

32. Indeed, thanks for that although I did enjoy the YouTube video of Ron Paul

...lobbing his Libertarian stink bomb right into the middle of the reThuglican debate. That was sort of like a Super-bowl moment which can be replayed every time some smart ass repuke tries to defend fighting there so we don't have to fight here.

[Beaverhausen]

4. That's great! Thanks

:rofl:

[Mz Pip]

5. LOL!

Tancredo: Jack Bauer! (cheers)

Yeah this pretty much sums it up.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[liberal N proud]

6. Excellent breakdown

[Phredicles]

7. Hilarious and apt! Recommended.

Posting for ease of later re-findingness.

[Stephanie]

13. thanks!

Check his blog - he reads all the RW blogs so you don't have to.

[Ron Green]

8. This is the funniest thing I've ever read!

:rofl:

[Stephanie]

12. I know!

Too funny!

[zippy890]

9. thats great

:dem:

"McCAIN: I'm against torture. I was tortured myself. (No applause)

GIULIANI: I'm for torture. (applause) 9/11!

ROMNEY: More imprisonments without trial! Fuck habeus corpus! (applause)

THOMPSON: Colin Powell! Confused you, didn't I, bitches? Asking me about Africa! Sheeit.

BROWNBACK: Fuck the U.N.!"

:rofl:

[Beausoir]

10. Hilarious. n/t

[Stephanie]

16. McCain!

McCAIN: I'm sorry about the Confederate flag, but not as sorry as you should be for asking me about it. (cheers, "Dixie")

[yardwork]

17. ROTFL!!!!

That was fucking brilliant.

[Stephanie]

18. He IS brilliant - check his blog.

Very funny stuff there. And the comments are brilliant too - interesting crowd.

[and-justice-for-all]

38. Which one is the REAL MaCain blog??? nt

[loudestchick]

19. Some one should animate it! With Rudy wrapped in the american flag and standing on rubble.

Mc Cain wearing his old service gear and face paint. Brownback toting a cross on his back. I could go on. But I won't.

[leftofthedial]

20. this wasn't a debate

it was a parade marking the end of the rule of the old white man

[Stephanie]

21. last of the dinosaurs

maybe we can turn them into oil?

[leftofthedial]

26. speaking as an old white man

I'm not quite ready for the glue factory

[Stephanie]

27. These guys' IDEAS are old, their worldview is old.

They're stuck in another era. It has nothing to do with their age. They're CONCEPTUALLY over the hill. I'd still like to melt them down for oil, though. Can I?

[leftofthedial]

29. they are dessicated

and despicable

not much juice there I fear, but don't let me stop you. the bullshit should at least provide some heat.

[kineneb]

35. methane production

off-gassing of obsolete windbag old farts...could heat many a home...

[youthere]

24. ROFLMAO! This would make a perfect SNL skit.

[Stephanie]

25. Who needs SNL when you've got the Ten Little Republicans?

They're a laugh riot!

[uppityperson]

28. Excellent. Thank you

[Stephanie]

30. You're welcome.

I want everyone to read it. I like his writing. :hi:

[and-justice-for-all]

31. 1 word: WORTHLESS!!

Ron Paul is the only one I would sake hands with. over all they are all dominist and looking to ride in on death and unintelligent rhetoric thats only use is comic relief. rethug idiots that WILL NOT BE ELECTED IN '08!! You can see that just by looking at them,

[Stephanie]

33. You say WORTHLESS, I say PRICELESS

The more they talk the deeper they bury their own party's GRAVE. Say it again, guys! WHEN are we bombing Iran? HOW long are we staying in Iraq? HOW many of our freedoms should we give up? (that national ID card idea is brilliant, Rudy - talk about that some more!).

[and-justice-for-all]

37. Priceless indeed...

That kind of public ignorance does seem to have the same effect as a hanging.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

34. Thanks Stephanie

and accolades to Roy!

:applause: :applause:

[Stephanie]

36. Roy's awesome.

Bookmark him. :hi:

[HCE SuiGeneris]

39. Done.

:toast: :bounce:

[TankLV]

40. Boy - I need a cigarette - and I don't even smoke!

I'd tune in once and a while and couldn't believe what I was hearing - I almost expected torches and everyone running out yelling "Get them FAGS!" at the end.

It was really really scary to watch - it was like a BAD fiction novel.

I couldn't believe my ears for more than a minute or two - then I'd turn it off to FARTWELL FELLATIO on the other channels - turned to the Disney Channel and TCM.

Then I couldn't believe I remembered it that way - would tune in again - and it was WORSE than before, so I'd turn off again...

Did this a few more times - by the last time - was truly frightened - like watching the beginnings of the Nazi pary reruns...

To say I am shocked by what little I saw would be a vast understatement...

You've made my day - brought me some gallows humor to laugh at...

Why am I still not laughing?

[Stephanie]

41. Yeah. bottom line, it wasn't really funny. It was scary as hell.

Sort of like the first one: Governor, who would YOU bomb first? Mayor, HOW hard would you hit Iran?

[and-justice-for-all]

42. Speaking of McCain

Found this little tid-bit on http://www.johnmccain.com/Blog/Read.aspx?guid=4646113b-de87-4c4e-b215-0e5ecc466ace

Posted at 10:29PM on 5/14/07 by DerekJohnson
I thought Ron Paul was the only true conservative @ the South Carolina debate. I feel that his strong alliance with the constitution, opposition to limitless federal government, and opposistion to indefinate United Nations enforcing wars worldwide will cause a complete shakedown of what it means to be "a conservative". Mr. McCain, Mr. Giuliani, and Mr. Romney are all proof that there is little difference between the GOP and donkey party. Remember the 1st amendment as you delete this post. Ron Paul has my vote, he is the only conservative running for president. God bless!

I think I can disagree with the comment in bold.

[deacon]

43. They should have shown the debate in black and white

or gave it a Police Squad intro with an announcer saying 'the republican debate, in color!'

[Stephanie]

45. Good idea! They could have passed out Marlboros.

And girdles for the ladies!

[orleans]

44. paraphrasing howard dean: watching a republic debate IS torture n/t

[IronLionZion]

46. I'm probably the only one here who thinks Faux News did a good job

I liked when they asked about the GOP not having a woman, black, or hispanic running for president. The Dems have all three!

Come one people, we can beat these guys.