Leaked voice-over script reveals Deficit Commission secret plans

[MineralMan]

for seniors. Turns out that it's not catfood at all. The entire script wasn't leaked, and there are no notes for visuals, so this is probably just the script for the radio spot:


Deep, but calming Male Voice: "Eat recycled food for a happier, healthier life. Be kind and peaceful to each other. Eat recycled food. Recycled food, it's good for the environment and okay for you."

I can't reveal the source of this leaked information, I'm afraid, but you'd surely recognize the name.

[nykym]

1. Could it be

Soylent Green?

[geek tragedy]

2. More likely some moldy, gray bananas

left behind by monkeys like Alan Simpson.

[Hekate]

15. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Take that, Alan Simpson! Your sell-by date...

... has expired!

Hekate

[MineralMan]

3. Mr. Natural says, "Recycle everything!"

[Ian David]

4. From "The Yes Men."

http://www.suite101.com/content/the-yes-men-fix-problems-one-parady-at-a-time-a174112

[MineralMan]

7. Well, no...but they got it from the same source I did, I think..

I have just one word, and it isn't "plastics." Google.

[DJ13]

5. "Eat recycled food"

Oh shit.

[MineralMan]

6. See here, Bub!

[Hekate]

13. Well, I ain't eatin' that, I can tell you

No matter how organic it is.

[Radical Activist]

8. I heard a rumor about a deal being discussed by the deficit commission

that would cut military spending in half over the next 10 years in exchange for raising the social security retirement age by two years and investing some of the money in the stock market, along the lines of what Clinton proposed. Sorry I can't reveal my source, but there are a lot of articles going around with rumors from unnamed sources anyway. We'll see.

[MineralMan]

9. Yah, rumors abound. Only a true insider will have the real truth of

the matter. Or someone close to an insider. Time will tell. Time will tell.

[flamingdem]

10. Figures! At this rate I'll never get a dime of my SS

geeesh

[formercia]

11. Eat Shit and Die.

The GOP Health Plan.

[backscatter712]

12. Nah, I hear that there's this new food product coming out soon.

It's this green cookie thingie, surprisingly tasty. Lots of protein. What's it called? Soy-something or other...

I don't know if it's anything like those new telephone booth thingies on every street corner that they're encouraging seniors to visit...

[Donnachaidh]

14. Soylent Green

Wonder if the Catfood Commission has plans to set up the pleasant death rooms for seniors? I'll bet the Kock Brothers would love to run those processing factories.

[flamingdem]

16. Perhaps the seniors get extra doses in those Backscatter machines in airports..

Is there any way to know the dosage?

Backscatter? What do you think?

[backscatter712]

17. Good question...

:evilgrin: