Just received a Repug email, not a terrible one, but need help

[Curmudgeoness]

coming up with another little story to counter it. I have no creativity.

Here is what we are dealing with:

"I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.

She said she wanted to be President of the United States.

Both of her parents, liberal democrats, were standing there.

So I asked her, "If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."

Her parents beamed.

"Wow...what a worthy goal," I told her. "But you don't have to wait till you're President to do that.

You can come to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my driveway, and I'll pay you $50.

Then I'll take you to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over here and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

I said "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Her parents still aren't speaking to me."

[DavidDvorkin]

1. This is ancient

It's smug and supercilious, as right wing jokes tend to be. Why not just ignore it?

[Curmudgeoness]

5. I could ignore it, as I always do. But sometimes...

I just feel like I should have some cutesy thing to send back. I am not in the mood to ignore today.

[uncommon]

2. So, is the guy going to go out and hire a homeless guy to do his yardwork?

Sounds like a hell of a deal for all the work. Would cost a lot more to hire a landscaper.

[Curmudgeoness]

6. And that is how it always goes, isn't it? They would never

do that work for peanuts, but you are lazy if you won't do it. Gotta love the double standard.

[ThatPoetGuy]

3. A response I wrote a few years back...

The girl's parents offer the homeless man $50 to do the work, but he refuses. They offer more, but he refuses. This is because he's stupid, arrogant, and lazy.

He goes away and finds a magic crystal that lets him see into a parallel universe. In that universe, he sees himself as he'd be if he were intelligent, hard-working, and industrious. In that universe he's a lower-middle-class man. He makes all his payments on time, but he keeps getting shafted. First his savings is eradicated when Republicans scam the Savings and Loans. His mother dies of heatstroke when Republicans help Enron scam the California energy industry. Later he loses his home when Republicans scam the mortgage industry. He starts living in his car, but he can't drive it anywhere, because Republicans have helped the oil industry gouge Americans to the price of $4.50 a gallon.

He cries, to see the misfortune that the Republican party inflicts on hard-working Americans.

He turns the magic crystal to another facet, and sees into another parallel universe. In that universe, he sees himself exactly as he is: stupid, arrogant, and lazy. But in that universe, he was born to wealthy and connected parents. He's allowed into all the most elite schools in the country; his family connections protect him from war; he never actually has to do a day's work in his life. He accumulates wealth and power, despite his stupidity, arrogance, and laziness. The children of the wealthy shouldn't have to work, after all.

He smiles, to think of the good fortune that the Republican party would have showered on him if only his parents had been rich.

"Welcome to the Republican Party, Mr. Bush."

[Curmudgeoness]

4. And that's the truth. Sadly. I like it. nt

[DavidDvorkin]

7. That's great!

[EstimatedProphet]

8. Maybe because he's homeless since the Repubs made him that way.

[Ramulux]

9. Seen it a million times

Such a disgusting piece of propaganda aimed at confusing and manipulating people with no intelligence. Seriously, how could you read this and actually believe it? Its horseshit drivel, written by a teenager who just read Atlas shrugged for the first time and think they are a genius.

[Ezlivin]

10. Okay...

"I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.

She said she wanted to be President of the United States.

Both of her parents, conservative Republicans, were standing there.

So I asked her, "If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied "I'd give tax breaks to the rich."

Her parents beamed.

"Wow...what an unusual goal," I told her. "But you don't have to wait till you're President to do that.

You can go to the gated subdivision up the road and toss your allowance over the wrought iron fence."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why do the wealthy need my money?"

I said "Welcome to the Democratic Party."

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

[Curmudgeoness]

11. Thanks. This is what I am looking for. I am just tired of not

responding, because I know these people believe what they say. Just like all people on welfare are "welfare queens" driving new Cadillacs and going to the spa every day on their tax money. And all people on disability are milking the system, found a doctor who would lie for them. And that cutting taxes on the wealthy will bring a magical healthy economy. Grrrr. It is time for me to respond. And your story is great.