Christine O'Donnell wants all of you to stop jerking off right now! (Delaware Tea Party)

[WillParkinson]

Christine O'Donnell is the Tea Party candidate for the U.S. Senate in Delaware and wants all of you to stop jerking off right now.

"The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So you can't masturbate without lust," she said. "The reason that you don't tell that masturbation is the answer to AIDS and all these other problems that come with sex outside of marriage is because, again, it is not addressing the issue. You're just gonna create somebody who is, I was gonna say, toying with his sexuality. Pardon the pun."

Have we ever seen an anti-masturbation candidate before? Delaware's primary is next week and O'Donnell is essentially tied in the polls with the GOP candidate she attacks in the ad below. O'Donnell's campaign has also been spreading rumors that her opponent is "cheating on his wife with a man."

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2010/09/today-in-crazy-teabaggers.html

[Kurt_and_Hunter]

1. But you can still jerk off on your spouse, right?

I'm a little confused on the inside/outside marriage part of the analysis

[wtmusic]

3. Depends on what you're thinking about.

But good question. :rofl:

[AnArmyVeteran]

24. Will guys who have 'Wet Dreams' be arrested?

[JoePhilly]

60. So she supports THOUGHT crimes ?????

[alfredo]

25. Only if you direct prayers to Saint Onan.

[Pab Sungenis]

2. Why would anyone in Delaware be against masturbation?

There's not much else to do there on a Sunday.

[jberryhill]

15. The liquor stores are open on Sundays now... /nt

[no_hypocrisy]

4. Purest form of birth control. How can you go wrong?

[gratuitous]

5. Remember, these are the candidates who are going to whomp the Democrats come November

Oh, I shouldn't have said "come." Anyway, these are the nitwits who are supposedly going to knock off real, viable candidates in November. All the talking chucklehead say so, and we know they're never e-e-e-e-ever wrong!

[Maru Kitteh]

6. So does she think masturbation causes AIDS?

What a loon.

[HEyHEY]

7. Wow, running on an anti-ejaculate ticket

Ballsy

[LaurenG]

8. The things you learn about these people is priceless

Maybe she should just mind her own body parts and leave everyone else's alone.

[L0oniX]

9. I'm masterbating right now while looking at her picture.

:evilgrin:

[ladjf]

12. That's funny. To bad she doesn't read DU. nt

[L0oniX]

31. Well then she would know that I committed adultery with her. n/t

[lumberjack_jeff]

17. Times must be tough.

:rofl:

[AnArmyVeteran]

29. I think those are called 'tribute shots' :)

DISCLAIMER: Of course I only know this information from diligent research and not from viewing porn.

[L0oniX]

30. Oh sure. n/t

[Radical Activist]

34. This comment is obvious flamebate.

[LynneSin]

44. That's a 40-year-old Virgin you're jerking off to...

Not kidding. She preaches abstinence before marriage. Of course inquiring minds want to know about the guy that lives with her.

[L0oniX]

57. Abstinence before marriage? ooops

[ladjf]

10. The sentences enclosed by the quotes are unintelligible.

If Ms O'Donnell is being quoted accurately, she is not only dumb but illiterate as well.

[ensho]

11. oh the things Delawarians have to put up with

laugh her out of the race and send her home

[qb]

13. I'm going to protest.

I will masturbate every chance I get. Lustfully.
:evilgrin:

[LeftinOH]

14. Off-topic.. but I still don't think Jocelyn Elders should have been forced to resign. n/t

[HEyHEY]

19. I"m still pissed about Mike Keenan trading Trevor Linden, but what are ya gonna do?

[one_voice]

16. Dear God...

this woman is an embarrassment, both to Delaware and to women.

[HEyHEY]

18. BTW, how does she know I am doing it right now?

[MilesColtrane]

68. She's like the Santa Claus of Self Pleasure.

She knows when you are horny.

She knows when you're awake.

She knows when you are sporting wood, so

don't pull pud for goodness sake.

[AnArmyVeteran]

73. Back away from your keyboard! I say back away from your keyboard now!

[McCamy Taylor]

20. I am guessing there is a working class Catholic vote in Deleware....

...that traditionally votes for the Democrat.

[Rex]

21. So based on history...how long will it be before we find out she is

masturbating like a horny monkey?

[Orsino]

22. Then she might want to cool it with the hot chat.

Seriously, how am I supposed to concentrate on loving my wife with O'Donnell's lascivious talk?

[rocktivity]

23. It's MY sexuality, and I'll toy with it if I want to!

:headbang:
rocktivity

[Canuckistanian]

26. Yeah, me too. When it comes to sex, I hold my own.

:P

[AnArmyVeteran]

27. If you have lust you're supposed to pluck out your eyes! How many blind Christians have you seen?

If Christians actually followed the rules in their Bibles they would pluck out their eyes if they ever lusted for another person. So if you see a Christian who can still see they are not real Christians, or they would have empty sockets where their eyes used to be.

It's hilarious how Christians only pick out the parts of their Bibles that suit their own selfish or political interests.

[Art_from_Ark]

32. There is a reason why they're called the Old Testament

and the New Testament. The New Testament is supposed to be the foundation for the Christian religion, which overrules a lot of the draconian laws of the Old Testament. It's one of the reasons why nearly all Christian sermons I have heard stick with the New Testament. So no, Christians don't have to follow the draconian edicts of Leviticus.

[AnArmyVeteran]

37. But in a way your position proves god had nothing to do with the bible.

If god 'always was' and 'always will be', and is all knowing then why the celestial flip flop between the Old and New Testaments? It's like god changed from a vengeance-filled god to a loving god overnight. 

In the Old Testament god condoned incest, murder and a lot of other hideous acts, but then seemed to 'wake up' one day and say "hey folks I didn't mean all of that ugly, inhumane stuff I've been teaching you all that time, here's what I want you to believe now". 

While you may have only been exposed to constructive New Testament sermons I have been to many brands of churches where they spewed fire & brimstone hate attacks from the pulpit. 

A friend invited me to a Baptist church one night and the preacher kept telling everyone how worthless they were to the point I became so disgusted at the verbal assaults and abuse that I had to get up and leave. What I saw on display was pure evil and I felt sorry for all of those victims who stayed to be further abused. 

The friend I went to the Baptist church with later tried to commit suicide because every good thought she had she though was 'god', and every negative thought was from Satan. She had no self identity. Her parents were religious fanatics who taught her to always have shame and guilt, two common ways the Christian faith controls and manipulates people. My friend nearly died but after two years of hospitalization she finally was able to shake the demons of Christianity. While she was in different hospitals none of her Christian family members even visited her. When she was in local hospitals I visited her everytime she was allowed to have visitors. And when she went to the state hospital two hundred miles away I traveled to see her every weekend for a year. Not one of her family members or her church ever visited her. But according to them I'm going to hell because I don't share their mutant beliefs, but they will go to heaven just because they call themselves 'Christians'. 

It's my belief from the many experiences I've had at a lot of different brands of churches that they cause more harm overall than good. Religion is a man-made creation. If the Bible was truly inspired by or written by god why aren't there two Christians on the face of the earth who can agree on everything in it? Why are there tens of thousands of different Christian denominations? Einstein said 'simplicity is 'genius' so if that were true then the 'god' who directed the writing of the Bible must be a blooming idiot. I'm not saying that to be ugly or mean. If god is all knowing don't you think he could have written a better book, one that everyone could understand equally? 

If religion hadn't been invented man would be no less bad or good. In fact, I have seen countless examples of how religion divides people so much they kill each other in the name of 'god'. I believe the overall influence religion has had in the world has been negative. Of course some churches try to do good things for others, but humans would have done those things for others regardless of religion. In areas of the world where tribes never heard of religion they generally lived peaceful lives with each helping the other and their communities. They certainly didn't need religion to tell them to love and care for their fellow man. 

Before Christian missionaries invaded Hawaii the people there used to play together naked but the missionaries taught them shame and guilt. The Hawaiian language didn't even have a name for the word 'steal'. I wish Christians would read the part of their Bibles that says "take the plank out of your own eye before trying to take the splinter out of another's". 

I'm glad your experience has been a good one, but look at the hate generated by 'Christians' opposed to the building of the Muslim center in New York and the dozens of attacks against Muslim centers around the country.

Sorry if this came across as a rant, but I have a lot of history with Christian abuses and I've seen how Christianity has destroyed a lot of people in my life.

Have a great day...

[Enthusiast]

65. Dang! What a great post!

Excellent observations that mirror my own.

[AnArmyVeteran]

72. Thanks Enthusiast. I hope you didn't have people victimized by Christianity as much as in my life.

[Enthusiast]

76. Mostly it breaks my heart to

see otherwise good and intelligent people mislead politically like some of my relatives are. They believe in a 6,000 year old earth and other such nonsense. And of course they are strict Republicans because of the supposed 'family values'. It just makes me sad.

[trotsky]

70. LMAO

That part about plucking out your own eye IS in the New Testament. Matthew 5:29 AND 8:19.

Amazing how few Christians know their own bible.

[Radical Activist]

28. I hope she wins the primary.

I don't know about the Republican primary, but I'm confident that masturbaters make up a large majority of the voting public, even in Delaware. :freak:

[KamaAina]

33. Every sperm is sacred

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
And when a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate!

-Monty Python

[AnArmyVeteran]

47. LOFL!!! Every sperm should lead to pregnancy!

We would have more people on the planet than ants, roaches, bacteria and germs. It would be paradise according to some religions. Of course we would all have the same standard of living as a cockroach does.

[Javaman]

35. her campaign will take a nose dive when the first reporter gets the nerve to ask...

So are you or are you not against masturbation?

There is no correct answer, politically speaking, that would save her from the corner she's painted herself into.

but alas, we have very few reporters that have the guts to ask such a question.

[slampoet]

36. Teddy Roosevelt did a short newsreel against masturbation. But that was after he ran for prez.

[Codeine]

38. Right now?! Gimme a second. . . hang on. . . hang on. . .

OKAYYYYYY, I can stop now.

[0rganism]

39. Interesting. Castle had a 9-pt advantage over Coons last I saw

Can this O'Donnell wackjob do enough damage to him to tip the race our way?

[MilesColtrane]

69. You called her a whack job.

heh heh heh

I get it.

[bbdad]

40. Isn't it a sin to gossip? What hypocrisy!

[bbdad]

41. Let's make masturbation against the law. Whee!

[freebrew]

52. It IS against the law here...

in Camden County Missouri.

A judge told a collective, no, captive audience during the pretrial jury selection for a sexual predator.

I had no idea......

[Solly Mack]

42. "So you can't masturbate without lust" * the voice of experience

and obviously she isn't doing it right.

[LynneSin]

43. HEY! We want this idiot to beat Castle next weekend

Because we know she won't be able to take out Chris Coons. Although there are plenty of right-wing nutjobs in Slower Delaware, there aren't enough to overtake a democrat candidate. only reason Castle wins as a republicans is because is kinda moderate and very well loved.

[butterfly77]

45. Aren't these ...

the same people who say they don't want Government in people's lives...

[msanthrope]

74. They want government off their backs and in your bedroom. n/t

[Arkana]

46. In response to this, I spooged on a picture of Christine O'Donnell.

[AnArmyVeteran]

48. Why are so many religions against anything that feels good?

If something feels good it's considered evil to a lot of religions. Where I see pleasure, they see evil. What messed up lives they must live. The more fundamentalist a religious group is the more radical and insane they are.

One thing I have in common with them is we both are praying for the rapture. I can't wait for them to be beamed up in the rapture so we can finally have peace in the world. Whatever direction they go, I want to go in the other. Spending an eternity with the likes of Palin, Bush, Robertson, Cheney, Beck, Hannity, Limblah, etc... would be eternal hell.

[WillParkinson]

51. They're not...

They're just against it for YOU.

[AnArmyVeteran]

56. I disagree...

For years women were forced into roles where they weren't supposed to feel any sexual gratification. Some religions practice female genital mutilation believing women should not feel pleasure because of religious beliefs. In the Bible it says men should not ejaculate on the ground, meaning they shouldn't masturbate.

Religions through time have believed sexual pleasures were somehow evil. And of course, religions like Christianity even thought feeling lust was so evil that a person having those natural human feelings should 'pluck their eyes' out of their heads. If people actually adhered to the teachings in the Bible there wouldn't be very many real Christisns who had eyes to see with.

So yes, religions have always had problems with sex and equated it to something dirty, shameful or sinful. I wonder how many people have lived their lives feeling like they were worthless sinners for having natural and healthy sexual appetites. How many marriages were destroyed because Biblical beliefs prevented couples from fully expressing themselves with each other sexually?

Perhaps if religions focused on spirituality, rather than on sex organs their flocks would be happier, live more satisfying lives and couples would have better relationships.

[WillParkinson]

62. My point is...

That too many people who stand up and tell you what not to do are actually doing it themselves. Hypocrites of the highest order, they seem to think that their position somehow means they will not or should not be held to the same standards as the little people.

And I agree with most everything else you've said. :-)

[LynneSin]

75. But men shouldn't ejaculate on the ground....

they need to get a tissue and clean that mess up!!!

See the bible has some things right :D

[AnArmyVeteran]

77. :)

[spanone]

49. it's as if these clowns try to out dumbfuck each other

[HughBeaumont]

50. (me giving O'Dumbass a stunned look)

REALLY? Stop jacking it? Is that important?

I'm . . . stunned with two "n"s.

I dedicate tonight's rub to this ever-so-important issue. Maybe all of us whack-jobs will see the light someday.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[tigereye]

53. where do they find these people?

:banghead:

[johnnie]

54. Not until...

...they take it from my cold dead hands.

[RagAss]

55. Medication Time ! Christine.....its Medication Time !

[BreweryYardRat]

58. Given the Republican habit of projecting their own hang-ups and behavior onto others...

...this woman either has a freaky Popeye forearm, or is seriously into bukkake videos.

[TK421]

59. Yeah Ms.O'Donnell? try prying my cock from my cold, dead hand! ( hands )

[AnArmyVeteran]

78. Right wingers want to invade the most personal parts of peoples' lives with 'Cock Cops'!!!

[Snarkoleptic]

61. Is it OK to sit in the dark and await the invisible hand-job of the free market?

[saltpoint]

63. If nothing else, this might prompt Anita Bryant to

fly up and endorse O'Donnell.

Anita might just as well endorse her. I don't think she has that much to do anyway.

[Swede]

64. Let me think about that for a few second.......

too late.

[Dr.Phool]

66. "When they pry it from my cold, dead hands."

"Who knew what Charlie Heston was really talking about".

[SalmonChantedEvening]

67. I'd like to help you Christine, but my hands are tied. n/t

[racaulk]

71. Not. Gonna. Happen.

:P