Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 06:36 PM
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You have kids, say - didn't you always know - |
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in the pit of your stomache - that when something was wrong - you knew.
Your kid breaks his arm or something and you knew to get out of that meeting and call home??
You can feel it is wrong - some psychic sense or something.
Don't we all feel this as parents??
This is a question.
Joe
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patrice
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Thu May-17-07 06:40 PM
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uppityperson
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Thu May-17-07 06:40 PM
Response to Original message |
2. Yes, and sometimes it goes the other way also. |
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How we feel, especially strong emotions, affects our kids, even over great distances.
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 06:47 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
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That you know when sometting is wrong - you feel it inside.
SOme part of you - you know something is wrong.
Patrice - I can't call him. It is not like he is hanging out at the end of a phone or something.
That is not what I am asking - I am asking -when something goes wrong with your kid - do you sense it??
Times before - it has happened for me - did it for others?? I want to know.
Joe
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patrice
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Thu May-17-07 06:57 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
6. I've had those feelings. And they were wrong. |
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But then I'm the kind of person who starts worrying when I hear ambulance sirens somewhere in the distance.
Don't feed it Joe. Break the feedback loop somehow: exercise, go to a concert, go to a meeting and work with other people on something, go to IMAX or something like that.
You don't want to deplete your resources for IF he ever does NEED you.
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 07:03 PM
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10. Man - four times in my life I have had this feeling - |
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Just four.
When my daughter fell off that damn horse, when my oldest broke his arm playing - basketball of all thing - when my second kid shattered his hip and now - that is all.
So you can understand, I conclude parents have some unnatural connection to their kids.
I feel it now.
Something is wrong.
Joe
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Adsos Letter
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Thu May-17-07 06:59 PM
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7. I don't think there is a 100% sure-fire answer on this one but |
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I once spent long periods of time away from home due to work related stuff. I started having this sense that my eldest daughter (who I was very close to) was having some problem, and I kept telling my wife she needed to talk to her seriously, see how she was doing kind of thing. Make a long story short--turns out she was engaging in some pretty risky behavior, and my wife was avoiding dealing with it.
It ended up turning out ok in the long run; however, I had to get involved and encourage my wife to stay on top of it while I was gone.
I don't think anyone can say this about every situation, though. I don't know you, as it appears others do, and I don't want to confirm some bad intuition you are having...it is difficult to know how the mind operates in these areas.
Sorry, I realize I haven't been of much help...
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 07:13 PM
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12. God help me - I know something is wrong. |
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I have been here before. And it has nothing to do with who they are marrying.
I have never had this feeling turn out ok - ever.
SOmething bad happened to the boy - and I don't care a hoot who he marries.
Why would I care??
Joe
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JuniperLea
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Thu May-17-07 07:28 PM
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16. I hope you are wrong... |
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There's a first time for everything.
You've never had a kid in war before. You've never been faced with this kind of situation. You could conceivably be wrong this time.
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Breeze54
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Thu May-17-07 07:33 PM
Response to Reply #12 |
18. You are feeling dread. Worrying. |
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"I have never had this feeling turn out ok - ever."
I've read that you had that feeling before and he was fine.
You are worrying yourself to death and I can't say that I blame you.
It's a knawing, uneasiness. A painful churning in your stomach.
The not knowing can drive one crazy!
Bad news about things happening near where your or my son was....
.... the tears and fears and jitters and worry....
I hope this whole mess is over soon and he comes home to stay.
I hope he e-mails you or calls home, if he can, to give you some relief.
:hug: :cry:
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 07:47 PM
Response to Reply #18 |
24. He has been to mosul twice - I never had this feeling of dread. |
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But I do now.
I sure hope you re right - and I am trying to brace for the other reality.
I am going home - I will not allow for my dear wife to do this thing. I have been prepared for this most of my life.
Joe
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 07:51 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
25. And that is Sgt Troy now!! |
Breeze54
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Thu May-17-07 10:07 PM
Response to Reply #25 |
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:thumbsup: :thumbsup: Maybe that'll mean less hazardous duties for him. Could be! ;)
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Book Lover
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Thu May-17-07 06:45 PM
Response to Original message |
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For a specific example: last year my then-three-and-a-half-year-old wandered out of the school building and was found across the street. I had no idea until I was called.
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 06:53 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
5. Man. I would like nothing more than to know that feeling at the pit |
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of my stomache was some undigested thing I ate for lunch. Really.
But I know - everytime I had such feelings my kids got hurt. Every one of them.
I can't shake this -
I am not looking for more than that which is true.
WHen your kids were in trouble - did you know??
Joe
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Adsos Letter
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Thu May-17-07 07:02 PM
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9. please see my above post and, no, it is not always true that |
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I knew when something was going wrong with my kids. Sometimes; but not always. And I know that "sense" you are talking about.
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AlCzervik
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Thu May-17-07 07:01 PM
Original message |
i can always tell when my daughter is sick or growing through a growth spurt but aside from those |
valerief
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Thu May-17-07 07:01 PM
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8. Oo, magic thinking! Tres Oprah. nt |
JuniperLea
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Thu May-17-07 07:30 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
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The man's son is in Baghdad. I'd agree with you if it were any other situation...
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valerief
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Thu May-17-07 07:45 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
23. How do you know? It's not in the OP. nt |
Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 08:21 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
28. She/he is quit right - |
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He is 3/2 - two tours north and this one south.
Quite correct.
Joe
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valerief
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Fri May-18-07 10:33 AM
Response to Reply #28 |
46. Best of luck and don't let magic thinking wear you down. Have hope instead. |
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Edited on Fri May-18-07 10:35 AM by valerief
PS: I don't mean to sound trite.
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Adsos Letter
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Thu May-17-07 11:07 PM
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43. juniperx is being kind; I wouldn't even agree with you then... |
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easy to mock when you're not in their situation.
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DKRC
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Thu May-17-07 07:04 PM
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11. Yes & with friends who are "family" |
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It works both ways with us.
If you're concerned enough it'll flow the other way and maybe you'll be receiving a call to let you know everything is okay.
:thumbsup:
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dddem
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Thu May-17-07 07:13 PM
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nothing serious has ever happened to either of my kids; however, once upon a time, a long time ago, I remember a weird feeling - like a realization that came out of nowhere that made me think my Dad wasn't going to live to be an old man, and a month or so later, he died of a heart attack in his sleep at age 52. In a strange way, I was kind of glad the feeling crossed my mind, because I had time to make sure he knew how much I loved him. Now I do that with my kids every day. That's really all you can do, but I'm thinking I don't have to tell you that - I suspect your son knows just how much you love him.
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 07:18 PM
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14. I know you guys tried to do what you thought was right.. |
Arkansas Granny
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Thu May-17-07 07:19 PM
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15. No, I've never had feelings like that, but I know others who say |
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Edited on Thu May-17-07 07:21 PM by Arkansas Granny
they have. I hope this is a false alarm.
On edit:
I hope you find out one way or another soon. The unknown can be so much worse than the known.
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 07:33 PM
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19. Say he doesn't make it - |
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You are all invited to his mass. Cause probably I won't be able to say that then.
But you will. And you are.
And - probably - I am wong - isn't it?? Probably??
You guys were a vent to me - you really were. I said stuff that was so horrible - I would cut me off. You have no idea how much I didn't believe some of it - but I knew the metaphor. I knew what I wanted to say I couldn't,
Thank you guys,
Joe
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Marrah_G
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Thu May-17-07 07:43 PM
Response to Reply #19 |
21. What you are feeling is fear |
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Edited on Thu May-17-07 07:43 PM by Marrah_G
You know he is in a very bad place and you are helpless to do anything. You are stressed out (and for good reason). But remember the reality that most come home relatively okay and in one piece. You need to stay positive and try not to make yourself sick. Your boy needs you to stay strong and not fall apart. Turn off the news and don't read the war posts for a little while.
Other then that: We are all here for each other and there are plenty here to vent when you need to. Better here then have it build up.
:hugs:
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 07:55 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
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I don't prepare for the best case.
It is this math that bothers me - He had no more than a 50-50 chance of coming out of there whole.
ANd I didn't have such a feeling the first couple times - and I do now.
Joe
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Marrah_G
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Thu May-17-07 09:12 PM
Response to Reply #26 |
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I have kids and though they aren't old enough to enlist, I do have a brother over there. It's very hard to keep positive and you really have to avoid obsessing on the news. If I read or watch to much I get really upset. Just try to think positive and maybe put energy into thinking up neat packages to send him. Keep your mind on the positive as much as you can and when it gets rough, turn to someone here or offline who understands and just let the tears flow for a while.
Many hugs, you are in my thoughts.
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 09:26 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
33. It is not even logic anymore - |
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It is a feeling.
I hope your brother is ok.
Joe
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Marrah_G
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Thu May-17-07 09:40 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
36. He has to be. He has 5 kids and one on the way |
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He is better off then most though, since he is a mid-level officer. I know your feelings are scary, just don't let them over-whelm you to the point you can't breathe. Is there a ombudsman or someone like that that you can check on him with? Just to ease your mind?
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 10:04 PM
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38. He is a LOW level sgt - that is all. My kid. |
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There is no way to talk to him when there is an "anxiety attack" - or whatever.
You don't know what scary means man.
Joe
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Breeze54
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Thu May-17-07 10:11 PM
Response to Reply #38 |
40. I think she does know. |
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You should e-mail him a letter or hand write him a letter! Do it now! Send him an e-mail greetings card or pack him up a care package. Go take some pics of the area where you live and send them to him! My son loved getting pics from home. Not just of people but of nature. Do you have a digital camera? Maybe he'd enjoy some pics from home! Keep busy, turn off the TV and put on some soothing music instead. Have a cup of tea....
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Marrah_G
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Thu May-17-07 10:16 PM
Response to Reply #38 |
41. I know it's far scarier for a child to be there then a sibling |
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Edited on Thu May-17-07 10:21 PM by Marrah_G
I'm just trying to give you some ideas to try and get through. I really feel for you and your family. My brother commands a navy logistical support battalion. I know his chances are way better then the guys under him. But I also know how much he cares about every one of those men and women, so I hope he is successful in making sure they all come home. My Pms are always open :)
If your son wouldn't find packages from strangers to wierd, I''d love to put something together for him. I still have the lists of good stuff to send from when my army friends were there.
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Dervill Crow
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Thu May-17-07 07:42 PM
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20. No. I'm a terrible worry wart, and I've been wrong more than I've been right. |
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I do know that what you are describing is real, though. I hope that soon you hear from him that everything is okay.
Like another poster, I worry when I hear sirens in the distance or of an accident on the freeway where one of my family members might be. Can't even imagine the anxiety of having a child that I knew was in harm's way.
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 07:59 PM
Response to Reply #20 |
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Like I said he is a true Sgt now -
Great - he gets more guns at his funeral??
I don't know the future - I just know I don't like it.
Right??
Joe
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Dervill Crow
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Thu May-17-07 09:35 PM
Response to Reply #27 |
34. I wish I had an answer for you. |
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:hug:
This is the best I can do.
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GreenPartyVoter
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Thu May-17-07 07:44 PM
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22. No, not always. I had no idea that my kids had been home alone for |
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an hour and a half last week while I was at the doctor. Wish I had gotten a psychic memo though, to beat the bus to the house. :(
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SaveOurDemocracy
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Thu May-17-07 08:39 PM
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Hugs and positive thoughts for you and Sgt. Troy. As parents, we sometimes get caught up in our fears and worries for our children (they are always our 'children' ... even when they are Sgt's.) and will psyche ourselves out. I hope this is just one of those run away emotional moments.
Keep us posted ... and vent as needed. :hug:
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Joe for Clark
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Thu May-17-07 08:42 PM
Response to Reply #29 |
30. I surely hope you are right. |
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And I fear something else.
Thank you,
Joe
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Matsubara
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Thu May-17-07 09:24 PM
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32. I have kids, and I sure as hell worry... |
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But I don't have a psychic sense. Wish I did.
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rucky
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Thu May-17-07 09:37 PM
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35. I know when she's gotten into the candy drawer. n/t |
Blue Diadem
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Thu May-17-07 09:44 PM
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37. Hang in there Joe, that feeling isn't always right. |
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I've had plenty of those feelings with my 3 kids. Many were right, but there were times and still are times when those feelings are just my fears.
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TexasLady
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Thu May-17-07 10:30 PM
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42. I respect your feelings I really do |
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My grandmother said she had them for her son when he was in the Navy in WWII. She bolted up out of a deep sleep, having dreamt of just awful things that had happened to his ship. She always knew her dreams were her internal warning system.
Grandma told us that back then it took a while to hear news or get letters, etc.., and she went plumb crazy for a time. When she finally did get news, she found out that the ship had been bombed.BUT. That my uncle has survived, but most did not. He's alive to this day.
Soo, yes we respected her dreams, or 'feelings' as she learned to do as well. But, in her case her son was in an awful situation, and came out unscathed.
I'd consider this as a distinct possibility. That he may have had a close call, but that indeed he could be very alive and well.
Im being as honest as I can, and as hopeful as I can be too. Intuition is very powerful, but my biggest hope for you is to know, and soon. Not knowing is the worst!!!
Hugs!!
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Adsos Letter
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Thu May-17-07 11:27 PM
Response to Reply #42 |
45. I can't add much to what everyone else has said, Joe |
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except to assure you that these sensations can definitely be wrong. I don't know you except through our brief "conversation" but I will certainly be thinking positive thoughts for you and your son. I hope you realize, following our PM, that you are welcome to contact me at any time, just to vent, whatever.
I think this is a fear all parents can relate to in one way or another.
About Sgt. Troy: You said he was 3/2; is that 3/2 Marines, or 3/2 ACR? Both are OUTSTANDING units, highly competent, well, well, trained, and they definitely take care of their own. I can only speak for the Marines because both my uncle and my best friend were in that unit, and spoke exceptionally highly of it.
I was in 3/2 ACR, and I know of their abilities, training level and competence (exceptionally high) and loyalty to each other.
Get some exercise, remember to eat healthy (even if you don't feel like it) don't wall yourself off from your friends and those who care about you. Drink lots of water. Try to do something you normally take pleasure in.
No, none of these will erase the fear, but they will allow your mind/body to better deal with the stress you are feeling.
Wish there was something else I could do. :thumbsup: :hug:
adso's letter
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Bucky
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Thu May-17-07 11:12 PM
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44. I always have this lurking, gut sense that something terrible is happening to my kid. |
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So far, I've been wrong every time. But I've only been a parent for 17 years, so what do I know?
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