It isn't about civility. It's about priorities.

[frustrated_lefty]

I posted once the night of Falwell's death and, despite my best intentions, I'm posting once more.

I don't defend the man. Period.

Do you make your life better by wasting time fuming, raging, hating a dead person? If you have kids, what do you expect them to learn from that? He's dead. Do you want to kill him again? Or, maybe, move on to making your life a better place?

There comes a time to let some antipathy, even hatred, go. Just let it go and try to make the world a little better based on what you have learned. When you cling so tightly to the memories of the dead, you forget what it means to live.

-fl

[Les Ismore]

1. I agree

I know Falwell was an anti-semetic bigot, but we do nothing but give the regressives fodder to talk about us. It is embarrassing to have those kinds of comments thrown in our collective faces. That is not the face of the Democratic party.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

2. ABSOLUTELY And WELCOME TO DU!

:toast:

[Atman]

18. How did such a cool screen name go unused for so long?

Welcome, Les! :rofl:

.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

3. You Are Correct, Of Course.

I just hope those that have trouble comprehending this simple concept go easy on ya. :)

[porphyrian]

4. The time to let go is relative to the individual, and no one but the individual...

...and possibly a medical professional or two should be telling them when that time is.

That said, I acknowledge that you have every right to express your opinion here, in any way you see fit. I hope that's clear.

[Rosemary2205]

5. I don't agree that venting is a waste of time.

Falwell helped create a very abusive environment socially wise for so many in this country.

My father was abusive, in ways too horrid to post on a website. When he died I cussed, I screamed, I broke things, I cried, I went to his grave and spit on it - literally. I want to tell you, it's not a waste of time. It can be very healthy. In my case it most certainly was.

IMHO it's good people who have been in pain for a long time because of the environment Falwell helped create can come to a place like this and get it out of their system instead of holding it in and hurting someone when the anger over being abused gets all twisted up inside.

[frustrated_lefty]

12. A bit of clarification, first, please:

I did not and would not say that venting is a waste of time.

I do not know what your father did, but I bet you were justified in every way to spit on his rotting bones, and I don't fault you for that.

Your last words hit on where I am perceiving things right now: when the anger over being abused gets all twisted up inside. Maybe I am wrong here, but I promise I am not criticizing anyone for their response to this event. I do think, quite sincerely, there comes a point to just let go of all of that negative shit that's built up over years. That's not to be kind or benevolent, it's just self-preservation.

[Rosemary2205]

16. This part of your OP is what I was referring to.

"Do you make your life better by wasting time fuming, raging, hating a dead person"

It isn't a waste of time - and getting it out can take a whole lot longer than 2 or 3 days most of the time -- is all I was sayin'.

Peace :)

[Obamarama]

6. Well, my priority is to dance on the grave of Jerry Falwell right now.

Sorry that bothers you, but try coming of age as a gay teenager at the height of his Moral Majority years and tell me you wouldn't do the same.

You may think I lack civility, but I say walk a mile in my shoes. I am not some uncouth, unfeeling cretin. This man harmed my psyche and my spirit through his words and actions, and irreperably damaged the souls of countless others, and you want me to be CIVIL at the news the man is dead? Like hell.

So go on...continue doing your best Mother Theresa or Dali Lama impressions, but don't you dare suggest I'm less than human for relishing the fact that the world is devoid of one less black shadow on humanity.

[frustrated_lefty]

13. Correction.

I did not say you were uncivil.
I did not say you were some uncouth, unfeeling cretin.
I did not suggest you were less than human, and I most certainly did not claim any spiritual enlightenment.
I did not even ask you to be civil.

I did not have a positive thing to say about Falwell before you were a toddler. Am I saying "stop being so mean to that foolish man?" Most emphatically, NO!

I am saying that the hatred the man espoused throughout his life is not worth an inkling of your time or thought. By taking the time to revel in his death, you grant the man's beliefs more traction than they deserve. Let his remains face their own fate, don't lend them substantiation by giving them serious thought.

[RaleighNCDUer]

7. If it was just him, I'd say fine.

But that anti-christ has millions of disciples out there ready to take up the banner. The war is not over.

So I say fuck him and fuck anyone who has a kind word to say about him. I will not sit by and watch him be deified as were Nixon and Rayguns.

[frustrated_lefty]

14. Good point.

But, dancing on his grave just makes him a martyr, no? What better symbol for a "war?"

[Webster Green]

8. It doesn't take that long to write a post swiping at that piece o' shit..

It won't really change my priorities.

The dude was an asshole and he was famous. Not too shocking that he would get trashed on message boards when he kicks it.

We all die. What's the big deal?

[mitchtv]

9. Don't mistake Hate

For pure Joy
I felt no hate, au contraire, it was a great day and a wish came true

[nam78_two]

10. Yes it is a matter of priorities and that cuts both ways

I don't personally care two straws about people dancing on that guy's grave-I don't do it personally but then I have a fairly low boiling point and rarely need to vent my frustrations verbally. I also understand that not everyone's personality has to be a clone of mine. Also, I am also not gay and have not been specifically a target of his hate speech. I fully understand and sympathize with the GLBT community's reaction to this man's demise.

But more to the point, if say I had any reaction to this -as a "manners" issue or as illiberal etc. (which as I said I don't), it would still be REALLY low on my list of priorities. We have had 6 years of this ghastly administration choking climate change science, starting a vile war, ignoring hurricane victims, destroying environmental protections. Honestly, people venting on a liberal message board would be the last thing I would be concerned about.

Like you said priorities-"manners", "form" and "decorum" are REALLY low on my list of things that scare me/upset me right now. All the effort spent in scolding people for some healthy venting could be used by people on the "politeness" side of the argument a lot better-given how objective they claim to be?

[frustrated_lefty]

15. Hmmm.

Well, I happen to be one of those hurricane victims you refer to, I lost every physical possession I owned, my wife and I--like the majority of Katrina families--have divorced, my dog is dead and I am 60 grand in debt. It's been a not-fun process, but I try REALLY hard to keep my eye focused on what matters.

Personally, I find people running around and cheering about how the evil witch is dead to be petty, trivial and self-defeating. But, I try to recognize the basis for those feelings. People do feel that way. All I'm saying is, let it go.

I did NOT use the words "manners," "form," "decorum," or "politeness." Look back at the original post. And, I am not scolding anyone. Do what the hell you want. Holding hate that close to you, especially about a dead man, just strikes me as a waste of time.

[treestar]

11. His death simply puts him at the headlines of the news

We'd be dancing if he were indicted, too. We wouldn't be bothering with him while he's not in the news.

It's really rather simple.

[Beelzebud]

17. For the most part, the grave dancing occured the day he died.

Why then, do we have like 20 threads a day like this one?

I posted, with glee, that this POS died, and then left it alone. I haven't even talked about Falwell to anyone since the day he died.

How many days will we have threads like this telling us all how awful we are? For the most part, people like me moved on. I think it's about time you all did too.