Desperate brides of the apocalypse, By Mark Morford

[madokie]

Way over here on the distant end of the human continuum, where the devil and the apocalypse copulate in a bed of blood, pathos and perky TV ratings, where everyone needs a hug and a shot of whisky to numb the savage karmic pain of merely being alive, we have a new reality show called, apparently, "Bridalplasty."

Can you guess? It's where brides-to-be compete in "wedding-themed" challenges, and the winner gets -- you guessed it -- extensive plastic surgery to, presumably, make her look tolerable on her Very Special Day™ and less like a walking slab of abject sadness willing to humiliate herself, her family and her fiancé on national television at the expense of her lost and bewildered soul. Coming soon to E! And no, I am not making this up.

I rarely turn on my TV anymore, and when I do I'm always equally stunned and impressed by the new and flagrantly repellant slew of reality shows on the air. They seem to emerge like bipolar trolls, like bewildered phantasms, little whack-a-mole cancers that pop up only to be beaten down again by their own insidious self-flagellating idiocy. Delightful!

But if there's one overarching theme, one denominator common to all shows across the slushpile of televised reality, from "Real Housewives" to "Jersey Shore," "Hell's Kitchen" to, uh, "Teen Mom," it's this: Extremism rules. The further out an idea goes, the weirder and more disturbing, death-defying, humiliating, repulsive, angry, trashy, loud, confrontational, shameful, shrill or depressing, the better the odds you'll see a show about it. "Bridalplasty" is par for a very, very bizarre cultural course that started somewhere back on MTV's first drunken "Real World" and will end somewhere humid and pustulous, where no light escapes. ...

(Full URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2010/09/22/notes092210.DTL&nl=fix)

[Blue_Tires]

1. Morford is on point as usual

excellent piece

[lapislzi]

2. Is it any wonder...

that our kids are cutting themselves, branding themselves, drilling their body parts at an alarming rate in an effort just to FEEL SOMETHING? At least this is what I'm told by my self-confessed cutting teenage daughter and her therapist. To feel pain is at least to acknowledge that you are alive. It is to cut through the stultifying numbness of the world.

No, I am in no way advocating cutting, branding, or even extreme piercings (what you do when you're over 18 is your business, however). It's dysfunctional behavior. But it is an understandable reaction to a dysfunctional universe.

When your options are pain and nothing, would you choose pain?

[seabeyond]

3. +1. your post makes me sad. but also, i say yea.... someone recognizes the bad in the

dysfunctional world we create for our children. i read too many posters on du, that shrug their shoulders at all this, gives a thumbs up and says nifty and it does not effect our kids. we adults are doing this to them. yet we deny we are.

[lapislzi]

5. Thank you, seabeyond...

My daughter is one of the fortunate ones. She's getting the help she needs. For every one of her, there are a thousand children whose parents cannot afford therapy, or do not recognize the need when it's under their noses. Those are the ones who walk into their child's room to find him hanging from a beam.

[a la izquierda]

8. I'm dysfunctional for being pierced and tattooed?

I don't understand what your post means.
"No, I am in no way advocating cutting, branding, or even extreme piercings (what you do when you're over 18 is your business, however). It's dysfunctional behavior."
So, I'm not dysfunctional because I waited until I was 18? Or I am dysfunctional anyway?

Please advise (sorry for my intensely sardonic attitude, but as an historian of indigenous peoples, many of whom pierced/tattooed/branded themselves, I find your post sort of funny. Not the cutting part, of course. But the equation of cutting to an ancient tradition).

[lapislzi]

9. Cool your jets, izzy.

Although I choose not to decorate/adorn my body with piercings or tattoos, I respect the rights of adults to do that. It's your choice, and, as you point out, is often a facet of a cultural continuum. I get that. I'm sorry if I was not clear when I was referring to the fact that troubled teens are acting out a completely different impulse: to cause themselves pain in order to simply feel something. There's no ancient tradition among my people of piercing and tattooing. My daughter cuts, brands, and pierces out of a desire to replace numbness with pain. I call that dysfunctional.

You want to decorate your body because it's part of your tradition? I call that normal. Again, apologies for any confusion.

[a la izquierda]

10. You weren't clear...

but your explanation now is. I'm sorry your daughter feels she needs to do this as an outlet. She will regret it when she's 30 and has a bunch of crappy tattoos/brands. Piercings come out (though my mom freaked out about that more than the ink).

Thanks for the explanation. A few months back someone on DU (can't remember who, but they're probably on ignore now) basically suggested that people who pierce and tattooed themselves were fucked in the head. She didn't say it in such harsh language, but instead danced around the issue, all the while attempting to make me feel like shit for looking the way I do. I pretty well told her to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. I don't tiptoe around with the language, as you can probably tell.

[lapislzi]

12. I would hope

That since I've been around this board for 10 years, I have something of a reputation for being polite. If I am at times insensitive, I work to correct that. Part of being here is the learning experience, and, in truth, I hadn't considered the cultural aspect of body adornment when I made my post. I'm glad you brought that to my attention. When it's not cultural expression, however, I wonder how much "extreme" body adornment is attention-seeking behavior? Just throwing that out there. I know it's off topic...you just got me thinking. And thinking's always a good thing. Peace.

[a la izquierda]

19. Some adornment surely is attention-seeking.

I don't know why a white guy from suburbia would tattoo his face, but it happens. I can't speak to other people's choices but I hide my tattoos most of the time, and my piercings are mostly for my, ahem, personal enjoyment.

And, sorry to be such a nut. I'm applying for jobs and finishing my dissertation. Oh, and not sleeping at all. Between that and the political races in Oklahoma, I'm fit to be tied most of the time.
Cheers.

[myrna minx]

16. .

:hug: for you and your daughter.

[sarge43]

4. Mother of God on a rocket sled

Ask me again why we cancelled cable.

[Gaedel]

6. The problem is......

Actors and actresses on TV shows expect to be compensated like corporate CEOs if their sitcom gets off the bottom layer of the Nielson ratings. Reality shows don't have such demands and thus can make more money to support the CEO's bonus.

[saltpoint]

7. When Morford sits down to write a column, he by god

writes a damned good one.

Good morning, madokie. Thanks for putting this up for us.

:hi:

[marmar]

11. Mark Morford has become one of my favorite columnists.

nt

[ensho]

13. Mark just has to face up to the fact that many americans are just like

what's seen on reality shows.

[L0oniX]

14. It's all Jerry Springer's fault.

[myrna minx]

17. I think Richard Bey deserves some credit too.

That show was unbelievable. :wow:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Bey

[GeorgeGist]

15. Freak Show

[SoCalDem]

18. Reality TV is just a modern version of Queen for a Day.

"Groveling For Goodies"