Every time I hear a priveleged person whining about his/her life...

[lapislzi]

I become more of a socialist. The nasty, intolerant kind that executed the rich during the Russian revolution.

It's SO HARD to decide between the BMW and the Lexus SUVs...and now she has to call the exterminator because she saw a spider on the kitchen floor and the BABY PLAYS THERE! (The latest laments of my spoiled, narcissistic co-worker) And...CAN YOU BELIEVE the snack at day care yesterday was goldfish crackers! That's not nutritious! She's going to resign her job, she decides. She needs to be at home with her son. And so forth. I listen politely and make sympathetic noises. All the while thinking about whether my old clunker will make it through the winter, or whether I can put the tank of oil I'm going to need on my credit card...and thinking not-so-charitable thoughts. I do not have, nor have I ever had, the luxury of not needing to work.

My co-worker's concerns are very real. They are her entire world, and she has lived her entire life in a bubble of privilege. I literally cannot imagine what it must be like NOT to lurch from bill to bill, or to float through life with more disposable income than can be spent in one lifetime (family money dontchaknow)

OK. /off rant. I figured my fellow DUers would understand.

[dkf]

1. Maybe that is what the average Afghani, Iraqi, Palestinian, Rwandan thinks of you.

[lapislzi]

4. Quite likely, and they'd be right.

I have a pretty nice life, comparatively speaking. On the other hand, I rarely whine about it. I know how fortunate I am.

[lumberjack_jeff]

9. Perhaps. But the flip side is that the subject of the op empathizes with her normal co-workers...

... about as much as we empathize with Rwandans.

Americans lives are very insulated, especially so for those who can afford all that insulation.

Narcissists suck.

[stray cat]

2. Haitians are likely to feel the same way about DUers

[stray cat]

3. Relative to many in the world we are the privileged whiners

[Hello_Kitty]

11. I knew someone was going to go there.

Yes, we should all be living in hovels eating bugs. :eyes:

[anarch]

17. yes, absolutely: we must all lower our expectations

Lost your job, kicked out of your house, and have to dig through the dumpster for food? Well buck up, American...in some countries they don't even have dumpsters! You're living like a king.

[HughBeaumont]

28. + 1. Equivocation - Dumb when conservatives do it, aggravating when "Democrats" do it.

Squalor is squalor is squalor. Poverty isn't a dick-swinging contest. We're all in the same damned sinking ship, our enemies are the ones who perpetrate wealth inequality and "perspective" ninnies need to get that through their thick skulls.

[phatkatt]

5. I had a friend go on and on about her yard man.

Apparently, he planted the wrong color mums. Oh, the humanity!

[lightningandsnow]

6. I know what you're trying to say, but....

I had people whip out the same things against me when I was severely depressed and struggling with bipolar disorder.

I was a privileged white girl from a fairly well-off family, and therefore should have just pulled myself up by my bootstraps. According to people with the same attitude, I had no right to be depressed.

Also, to echo what other people have said, I'm sure people in developing countries, or who are homeless in North America think the same thing about us.

[ejpoeta]

10. i've had that happen where i had friends who seemed to have it all

and they ended up having to sell their house and are living in a trailer. it made me realize that even when people seem to have it made, they don't necessarily. i think of that when i find myself feeling jealous that others seem to have a lot. and some put on a brave face because who wants people to think you don't have everything under control. sometimes i wish i had things i don't have and then i realize how lucky i am. we may not have fancy things, but our house is paid off. i am lucky to be able to be home with the kids. my daughter can learn to play an instrument.... we are pretty fortunate.

[pipi_k]

16. But see, they were/are wrong to do that

As a long-time sufferer of depression myself, I know that depression can be deadly. It very often has nothing whatsoever to do with a person's circumstances, whether or not someone else thinks we have a "right" to be depressed.


People who say to you that you should just "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" would be just as stupid saying that same thing to someone with diabetes or schizophrenia or multiple sclerosis.

[femrap]

7. I was just

ranting about the same thing! Sometimes I just want to put my fingers in my ears and yell, 'LALALALALALALAL.'

I am in awe of you not saying anything to her...especially about the cars.

It's too bad she reproduced.

[bluestateguy]

8. Plenty of people could say that about limousine liberals too

And I'm sure DU has at least a few limousine or Lexus (upper middle class) liberals.

In fact, it is entirely possible that your co-worker (or others like her) fit into these categories.

[lapislzi]

19. She's apolitical, a little conservative

Her lifestyle simply eats up all of her time.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm well off. But: I don't whine about my bills. I pay them. I worry about money a little because everything's going up except my salary, and I'm a single parent. I have no safety net. But I get on with it, because I must.

I also have no objection to paying higher taxes. I would LOVE to pay more in taxes if it would mean that we could all do a little better.

[devilgrrl]

25. Funny. I don't hear limousine liberals whining about having to pay more taxes.

eom

[pipi_k]

12. Yep...fully understood, and on the other side of it...

even though I don't live in a big, new, beautiful home, the home I do have would probably be considered a palace by about 3/4 of the world's population.


OK, and while we're on the subject of whining...my own personal most-nauseating whinefests...

Anything by the Bride-fucking-zillas

Ten, fifteen, twenty thousand dollars or more for a party that lasts one day, and a marriage that just MIGHT make it to five years if they're lucky.

Starving kids all over the world. People being tortured and blown up. Living in filth and misery.


But "OH MY GOD!!! The bridesmaids' shoes are one shade different from the fucking flowers!!!!!! My entire wedding is RUINED!!! My LIFE is RUINED!!!! Oh my God, I just can't TAKE this!!!"

I seriously want to slap them.

[Missy Vixen]

15. Weddings now are a competition

It's not a celebration of love and family. It's all about whose was better, who had the most people there, what they had for dinner, bla bla bla.

The women featured on these shows think that the "perfect wedding" will compensate for a variety of other issues, one of which is the fact the relationship isn't that great in the first place. After all, if the guy in question will marry a woman who's shown the entire country via television she's batshit crazy, he's not all there, either.

Most of the insanity is driven by the wedding industry and by those who ratchet it up in the name of "entertainment". Having said this, though, I love David Tutera's show. He chooses brides who maybe haven't had it so easy in life, and I'm happy to see their beautiful party and how grateful they are for his help and expertise.

[pipi_k]

18. One of the hardest things is keeping one's mouth shut...

when one sees one's kid(s) about to make some stupid mistake, like when one of my stepdaughters decided she wanted this big ass fancy wedding last year. She and her fiance' had just bought a new home the year before and were not rolling in the money.

So many more useful things those thousands of dollars could have done, like upgrades to their home to increase its value, or maybe keep it in savings "just in case".

Nope.

So, by all accounts from stepdaughter, even though they both have pretty good jobs (and she gets all kinds of overtime as a nurse), they never have any extra money.

Oh well...you live and learn :shrug:


PS...I've never seen that show, but it sounds like something that would probably make me a little weepy, seeing young women who never had much in life getting something they truly appreciate. :)

[bluestateguy]

22. As a college student I attended an expensive wedding of a high school friend

On the other side of the country. The travel expenses cost me a fortune, as a college student with no real steady income; and of course the wedding gift.

The couple divorced 9 months later. I was tempted to ask their families for a refund of all my expenses, though I chose not to, even though I fantasized about it.

[Missy Vixen]

13. Money doesn't make anyone's life perfect

While we all wish for untold riches, those who have lots of money aren't immune from the heartache anyone else faces in life. Ultimately, it's all just things. Those who have more than we do (and have most of the same problems,) have been known to use things to comfort themselves.

She's your co-worker. Obviously, none of us knows everything about people we work with. Maybe her family is non-supportive. Maybe her husband is cheating. Maybe her life isn't all what she would like, so she compensates with things, and worrying about stuff that ultimately doesn't matter.

I know a woman who appears to have everything. Devoted husband, beautiful family, great job. She lost her son a few years ago. I think she would give her soul to have one more day with him, and I didn't find out about her loss until we'd known each other for almost a year.

It isn't always what it seems. I hope your co-worker finds something that makes her happy.

[Al Claybon]

26. We all DO NOT "wish for untold riches" - at least, those of us with a conscience. THAT is the

difference between caring people and greedy assholes, between (some) Democrats and all repukes, between human beings and conservatives.

We just want to survive and have everyone else survive as well.

If we have enough for our needs, we are willing to share with those who do not. Even if we do not have all that we need, we still want to share.

[Missy Vixen]

39. I apologize for my inartful wording

Will you apologize for your assumptions about me?

[mainer]

30. That is a compassionate voice you have there.

There are happy poor people and unhappy rich people. The trappings are only window dressing.

[IMATB]

37. No, money does not

make everyone happy.

My neighbor lives the good life. She irritated me for months with her bragging and showing off. Then something happened. I noticed for the first time, she had no friends. No one came over to see her house she so loved to talk about, no one in the neighborhood went out of their way to be friendly to her. She's a lonely young girl with all kinds of nice things yet she's miserable. Sitting there everyday, alone.

When she finally grows up, she'll see that those trappings mean nothing. Let's hope she outgrows the uppity attitude too.

No, I am not jealous. She's a child. I feel sorry for her.

[Name removed]

14. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Dappleganger]

20. My 18 yr. old daughter says we should go Sweeney Todd on the rich...

she's a bit macabre. :evilgrin:

[Buns_of_Fire]

27. Ummmmm... Mrs. Lovett's Meat Pies...

With a side of fava beans. And a nice chianti, of course.

[proteus_lives]

44. Remind her of the French Revolution.

The first ones to pull the guillotine cord are usually the next ones on the dock.

[leftstreet]

24. Oui n/t

[Curmudgeoness]

21. Good rant, and hope it helped. You have every right to be pissed.

I think it is the insensitivity of some people that makes us so angry more than that we don't have what they have. When they cry-baby to someone who is less fortunate, you have to wonder what they are thinking. I may have had to speak up to let them know that I was not the right person for them to whine to since I would never be as "lucky" as they were.

[Pithlet]

29. Totally agree.

I'm always surprised at the amount of people on DU who miss the point with posts like this. It isn't that they're better off. It's that they're complaining about it within earshot of those less fortunate. If someone happens to hear someone better off complaining about superfluous things that affect that income bracket, it's a perfectly natural feeling to think "Gee, I'd like to have your problems for awhile" Why this gets turned into "Don't hate the rich! They have problems too" or "At least you don't live in insert-3rd-world-country-here" on DU of all places makes no sense to me.

[Sheepshank]

23. And these very people are the ones to whine about poor people and their entitlements n/t

[mainer]

31. Does she know that you're struggling?

If she does, then she's an insensitive jerk.

If she doesn't, then she's just clueless.

[Johonny]

32. Frankly the everyday life of people is full of mundane stuff that sounds very unimportant to you.

I'm not sure it makes them living in a bubble of privilege. I think that's just normal everyday casual life and conversation. Or to put it another way such mundane conversation from pay check to pay check people I know doesn't really rise above this kind of stuff either. I think it's just life your experiencing, if it bothers you? It's probably a you problem. It's also probably a mistake to assume people that appear to have a lot of wealth aren't actually buried in debt too. Many "wealthy" people are actually wealthy only in how much credit people are willing to extend them because in reality they are much more in debt than you can ever dream to be.

[cemaphonic]

34. I was thinking this too.

Publicizing the oh-so-agonizing choice between a Lexus and BMW is pretty tacky for sure. But all the other stuff in the OP was overprotective-parent-freaking-out stuff, that, while annoying, is hardly confined to the affluent.

[guitar man]

33. I know a few wealthy people

Some of them very wealthy. Sometimes they have a hard time understanding where I'm coming from and I have a hard time understanding them. But ever so often I'll stumble upon a teachable moment with one of them. This past weekend I found such a moment.

My friend Tom has a boatload of money, took over a company that his father and grandfather built. He's admitted to me on more than one occasion how fortunate he's been to be born into the family he was born into. Anyway, Tom has a really nice 1964 Chevy pickup, custom street rod that he said "he built". I have a rusty old 1965 Chevy pickup that I'm building into a street rod and he stopped by to look at it. the conversation went something like this: (paraphrased)

Tom: "wow, that's in a lot worse shape than mine when I bought it, who is going to do your bodywork?"

Me: "I am"

Tom: "Are you going to use a crate motor or have one custom built?"

Me: "Thats the 283 that came in it on the stand, I'm going to build it myself"

Tom: "what about the power steering and disc brake conversion?"

Me: "Yep, gonna do that myself too, I'm going to lower it myself and I might even slip in an independent rear suspension if I can find one in a junkyard that's not too expensive"

Tom:"Damn, you can do all that yourself....is there anything you're not going to do?"

Me " The upholstery, I really suck at that, I'm going to get Kevin to do it. Now let me ask you this, don't you ever feel bad about telling everybody you built your truck?"

He turned a little red and hung his head for a minute, but we went on to have a good long conversation about the perceptions of the haves vs the have-nots. To his way of thinking, since he had unbolted the major components of is truck, sent them out and had all the work done that he had no idea how to do and then bolted it all back together (with a lot of help from his uncle and some help from me too)and dropped in a crate engine that he had "built" his own street rod. Then when he came face to face with how I was having to build mine out of a rusty old truck that last ran well over 10 years ago he got a look at how we live that he could relate to.

We both have a passion for old iron, we like the same trucks, we just have to take very different paths to get to the same place. Where he can pick up the phone or jump online and order up a $5-10k crate motor to drop in, I have to pull mine down and build it up a piece at a time, often with recycled salvage yard parts that take time consuming reconditioning. And so on and so forth. My hat is off to him for not just going to an exclusive auction and dropping $30k on an already built truck, which he certainly could have done.

But it was a good conversation, I explained to him how I always wince a little when I hear rich folks talk about how they "built their house". You didn't build that house, you told somebody what you wanted custom built and dropped by ever so often to see how it was going and give direction. We went on for quite a while and I think we really gained some good insight into what each other is all about.

And I'm going to try to teach him to weld...this should be fun :eyes:

[KittyWampus]

35. Question- you "literally cannot imagine what it must be like NOT to lurch from bill to bill"???

You literally cannot imagine what it's like?

Suggestion- spend some time imagining what it would be like and investigate different ways to get there.

As someone who spent years living hand to mouth, one thing that helps is first of all imagining things CAN BE DIFFERENT.

[Freddie Stubbs]

36. Apperently not that privledged, or she would not have to be working

[Kingofalldems]

38. That would be the republican argument

Like the so-called Small Business tax cuts. Thanks for the reminder of how repubs think!

[Freddie Stubbs]

40. Would you care to expalin exactly how that is 'republican argument?'

:shrug:

[Kingofalldems]

42. That anyone who works is not privileged or 'that privileged' e.g. Trump

Back to this eh? :shrug:

[Freddie Stubbs]

47. Trump owns his businesses, he doesn't work for others, like the OP's coworker

[Selatius]

41. I tend to favor socialism, but that's because I think the current way is unsustainable.

Eventually, we're going to exhaust our resources and face a population collapse of massive proportions if things aren't done to reign in the kind of growth that depletes everything else, especially the idea of growth for growth's sake.

Aside from that, I hear what you're saying, but you shouldn't let anger at other people dictate what your principles are.

[proteus_lives]

43. This sounds more about your co-worker then the wealthy.

[blueamy66]

45. I'm with ya.

If I have to hear the Pres of my company whine one more time about ANYTHING, I may explode.

[apocalypsehow]

46. Most "privilege" is earned, not given. To the extent I have "privilege," it's something I've earned.

And I'm damn proud of it.

"The nasty, intolerant kind that executed"

And you support capital punishment for ideological opponents. Some "progressive" we've got here! And you post on a liberal website with a straight face. I don't buy it.

[mdmc]

48. ..