Truly the best consumer product rip off I've ever seen

[DainBramaged]

The Bug Banisher




In many ways, the intersection of entomology and marketing is the ultimate expression of “build a better mousebug trap.” Exhibit A: The Bug Banisher.
The Bug Banisher is absolute genius–if you want to rip people off using quantum new-agey BS. For only the low price of $59.95, you get:


“Chemical Free!” (except for the plastic chemicals it’s manufactured from, of course.)

“Requires no electrical outlet!” Because…it’s a lump of plastic. Well, to be specific, 4 little plastic lumps. With purple aluminum triangles glued on.

“Ants, cockroaches, mosquitoes, and flys find the barrier of Natural Energy intolerable.”
I love that Natural Energy is in Capitals.
I guess my problem is that I’ve been surrounded by UN-natural energy. That may explain a lot about me, actually.

How does it work?

From the product literature: “it produces a negative ion effect that sends insects packing…”

You see? Genius. Not “it produces negative ions”, which, of course, would be testable. And also would be completely impossible without any means of power supply. (Unless, of course, it was ionizing radiation. You can get ion release without a power source via radioactive decay. Which would make this a MUCH more exciting insect repellent!)

No, these little boxes produce an “ion effect.” From “Natural Energy.” None of which can be measured with conventional scientific instruments, of course. And the boxes have to be carefully aligned at proper 90 degree angles. Failure to exactly align the boxes will result in the ion effect not….um, effecting, and thus poor insect control.

http://membracid.wordpress.com/

[Richardo]

1. "Flys"

That's all I needed to see :eyes:

[dixiegrrrrl]

4. Actually,and accidently, "flys" is an accurate description of the picture.

Now, if they had only showed "jumps" and "bites"......

[Ian David]

2. Well, at least it's safe.

:sarcasm:

[NightWatcher]

3. I had to buy four of these before I got one that worked

:hide:

[Tace]

5. Bug Banisher is the only year-round, indoor-outdoor solution

Bug Banisher is the only year-round, indoor-outdoor solution to annoying ants, mosquitoes, roaches, ants, fleas, silverfish, and other insects. It produces a negative ion effect that sends insects packing for up to two years in a 1600 square-foot area-indoors or out! Create your own barrier by placing the four salt-shaker-sized units two feet up from the floor or the ground - on stakes or on walls or furniture. There are no sounds, odors, emissions or toxins. It's so safe its been tested in childcare centers, and so powerful it works through walls and doors!

Here's proof from actual users!

"Thank you for installing Bug Banisher in our child care center we have not seen any activity in the bugs that are usually present here." -Lynn Dunkle Brookhaven Infant and Toddler Center, Nashville, TN

"Since having the Bug Banisher installed, I have seen no evidence of roaches, ants, crickets or grasshoppers." -Kurt A. Schuber, President of the S.P. Foods, Cooper City, FL

"We have not had to chemically treat that building since, and it remains roach free." -Tom Decker, Director, California Housing Association

Buy at least two sets - one for indoors and one for outdoors. Bug Banisher works best on square-shaped areas, so rectangular areas may require two sets. Purchase a set for each floor of your home. comes with instructional video and double-stick tape for wall mounting.

http://www.smartcart.com/demo/cgi/display.cgi?item_num=ibb852
---
Hey, you know what would REALLY sell? Bed Bug Banisher!

[DainBramaged]

8. S.P. Foods, Cooper City, FL (liar)

No such bidness in Cooper City.

[gratuitous]

16. I bought three of them

And I haven't seen a tsetse fly in, oh, forever!

[madokie]

6. At least the 'ionizers' you see being sold have a cord you have to plug in

and little fans in them. Most test on them show a negative effect on the health of the people who use them contrary to what the adds say.

[DainBramaged]

10. I love your 'personal transportation device'!!!!!!!

:hi:

[madokie]

14. Thanks

It sure is handy around the place here, saves me a lot of walking that I really can't do anymore anyway. I'm fixing to make another one but this time I'm going to put the casters in front and I'm going to stand between the rear wheels and drive it from a standing position with a butt seat I can lean back against like some of the bass fishermen have on their bass boats. I'm thinking it will be handier having the dump bed in front where I can see where its going all the time. this one here with the casters on the rear sometimes I bump into things when I turn because I forget its back there.

Just bought a lathe/mill from one of our friends whose late husband bought it new about 10 years ago, he was vice president of HEM Saw and only used it for a couple years before he died of a heart attack. I just built the stand/table for it yesterday. never used a mill or a lathe before but hey never too old to learn is my motto. I'm hoping to sell a few of these carts as soon as I come up with a design that I really like and think others may want and there is a few things I need a lathe for in making them. :hi:

[DainBramaged]

15. Always easy for us gearheads to spot well-made stuff!

B-)

[Kurt_and_Hunter]

7. I istall one every October and it works great for 6 months!

[thelordofhell]

9. Build a better snake oil

And chumps will flock to your door.

[bergie321]

11. You use it

To smash the bugs. Duh...

[zipplewrath]

12. As old as the hills

Back in the early 1900's there were several infestations of insects on agriculture. More than one con artist created products guaranteed to get rid of them. One of the more memorable was someone selling a "guaranteed kill" with the "bug killer machine". What you got was 2 blocks of wood with the instruction to put the bug between the two blocks and smash them together.

[Curmudgeoness]

13. Well, it does have a "money-back $guarantee$".

But I suppose that is only good for defects. Not that you are too stupid to properly align it.

[Erose999]

17. Boehner and the rest of the GOOP produce negative ions too and the flies are always circling them.

I'm waiting for him to lash out his frog tongue and catch one. You can tell he wants to.

Here's my favorite:

http://www.artisanalpencilsharpening.com/

Thinking of offering this service to my coworkers. They might like the idea of "old world craftsmanship".

[DainBramaged]

19. $15 each? I've got some sticks glued together, what's my bid...

[Stevenmarc]

18. Well if you pick it up then slam it down on the bug it should work

[Libertyfirst]

21. nope, its a suicide ladder. They climb to the top and jump off

[eridani]

20. I used to hear that stroking cats' fur generated heathy negative ions

Which has to be bullshit, because how can a negative ion be a cat ion? :evilgrin:

[marmar]

22. Is this a Tom DeLay product?

nt

[depakid]

23. "...never give a sucker an even break, or smarten up a chump"