Wolfowitz cleared in shock finding

[dave_p]

Claims that deposed World Bank president Paul Wolfowitz had a girlfriend were based on “faulty intelligence”, international inspectors have found.

It had been alleged that Wolfowitz was involved in a relationship with former Bank communications officer Shaha Riza, for whom he arranged a $61,000 pay raise following his appointment.

But new photographic evidence indicates that claims were “sexed up” by members of the anti-Wolfowitz coalition, which included most of the Bank’s staff and member countries.

"Pre-resignation intelligence suggested that there was some kind of liaison going on," a member of the inspection team said, "But photographs of Mr Wolfowitz now convince us that he has never had sex."

Analysts are now asking why Mr Wolfowitz failed to demonstrate that he had no sex life before the coalition operation. “It looks like he wanted people to believe he had a girlfriend so he wouldn’t seem such a total jerk”, said one.

Mr Wolfowitz refused to comment beyond saying that his job at the Bank prevented him from speaking about Iraq.

[KharmaTrain]

1. He's Gone...That's All That Counts

A perfect example of "Don't Go Away Mad, Just Go Away".

After this month long kabuki theater at the World Bank, the last thing Wolfie will be doing is walking away with his "reputation intact". The dude's a worldwide laughing stock now and it couldn't have happened to a better asshat.

Bill Mahrer had a great line last night..."how incompetent can this guy be...I mean a Jewish banker who screws that up?" I'm Jewish and laughed my ass off.

Wolfie's headed back to the safety of the American Enterprise Institute where he can once again plan of world domination.

[SpiralHawk]

2. "Oh Volfie, sex up my evidence, you comb-licking beast you." - Sha-haaa

"You and your republicon cronies are, like, a totally hot and heinous pack of ravenous 'SPECIAL' cases.

"No one in history has ever done sanctimony as shamelessly as you 'buttoned-down' republicons, while at the same time indulging so gluttonishly in lies, corruption, sexual deviancy, war profiteering, and disloyalty to the great ideals and laws of the United States of America.

"Tell me, Volfie, dahlink, vy do you republicons HATE America?"

- Sha-haaaa

[dipsydoodle]

3. Well composed

:rofl:

[Ian David]

4. He planned to purchase a girlfriend from Africa. n/t