(crosspost/poverty) So, i missed my WTW requirement

[FirstLight]

(32 hours a week jobsearch...if they closed at 5 and i got there at 5:01 i only got one hour for the day counted...)

me & 3 kids = $780 tanf
one turned 18 last month, now = $660

and since the computer says i am below the 32 hours a week activity =$530
my rent=$250 (hud housing, thank god)

until december, that income won't change...I have to prove i can sustain a 32 hour a week jobsearch
Been hard core looking for months, not a bite, nothing...i am so jaded i am beginning to think the first interview i get i will blow because i am so pissed at the whole thing... have been 'unemployed' for 3 years in January...at first my freelancing was keeping us afloat, then it wasn't.... then tanf told me it was not viable and i had to do *their* idea of something productive. sign into the jobone every morning, and out every afternoon, attend classes on how to dress, interview, etc, ...

and the tears and fear and panic of "how are we going to *DO* this" is palpable right now...can't stop weeping for the whole feeling of desperation. my kids are worried we are going to run out of food, thank goodness we still get foodstamps...this sucks i hate being poor!
:cry:

[SammyWinstonJack]

1. ...

:hug:

[FirstLight]

2. what is worse is that I didn't grow up like this

my dad worked hard for the phone co, built our house himself, and pinched pennies...and they could still afford little things, but mostly saved...and they are still okay, i guess.
i was a middle class girl, and now i have been a single mom and living on the edge for most of my adult life, if not ALL of my adult life.

My folks are still thinking i need to 'buck up' and they do try to help with stuff. honestly, my kids would not have shoes if it wasn;t for my mom.

but i even went back to school last year and completed a program...and there's *still* no better jobs...
I know we aren't the only ones in this fucked up boat, but it just needed to vent and try to feel less like a failure...

[Cal Carpenter]

3. You are not the only ones

and you are not a failure.

This is a systemic problem...

My best to you.

[Toucano]

4. You're in Lake Tahoe?

Maybe the coming season will bring something good.

Don't despair - try not to lose hope.

[FirstLight]

9. thanks...

ya, storefronts are closing left & right, and the seasonal gigs are mostly for the young skiiers. lol

I have had folks ask me why don;t i leave if it is so bad up here economically, but my kids are established in schools, and even if i *did* have the money to move - it would be counterproductive when i have lived here 18 years and am supposed to have 'connections' and a support system of mommies etc...

[Cleita]

5. I hope things turn around for you FL.

My prayers are with you. :hug:

[Starry Messenger]

6. ((hugs)) FirstLight

It is sickening that all those hours are required for the money. You aren't a failure, this is a cruel country. <3

[eridani]

7. You'd think that the idjits would try to help you expand the freelancing

Although, given the contempt for people that the whole system is built on, it isn't a huge surprise that that never occurred to anybody.

[FirstLight]

8. ya, i had a year of that

with no follow ups or assistance(no classes or business plans) until they decided it wasn't good enough. now my stupid ego is all fucked up too!

I know, it is all about the hate, it seems. that's part of the burden i think too.,..to know you are looked upon with nothing but disdain and thought to be a slacker no matter what is part of the problem, for sure.

[MorningGlow]

11. Freelance writing?! That ain't a REAL job!

(Guess what I do for a living. ;) ) Seriously, they'd wet themselves if a dozen people on unemployment could find jobs digging ditches, but gods forbid anyone actually do something, you know, intellectual and creative. :eyes:

[MorningGlow]

10. Oh honey

:hug:

Chin up. If you need anything, give me a shout, you hear?

[Panaconda]

12. Sorry to hear

Damn.

Hope something comes your way.

[BlueCheese]

13. I wish there was something helpful I could say...

All I can think of is good luck. Tough times can happen to anyone--being in a bad spot right now doesn't mean anything about you personally or your worthiness in any sense.

By the way (anyone can answer), what are the kinds of things that would be most useful for folks going through these situations?

[BlueCheese]

14. Self-delete.

Duplicate. Sorry.

[demmiblue]

15. FirstLight...

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I wish I could help, but I am not able to at this point in time.

I hope you find some sort of solace in the fact that there are people out there/here that read your words and give you a mental hug.

:hug:

[Liberal_in_LA]

16. kick

[Matariki]

17. How in the world does a person do 32 hours of 'jobsearch' a week?

First, I'm so sorry you are going through those difficulties. That is so stressful.

But seriously, so much of looking for a job is simply waiting to hear back from people. What are you supposed to do for 32 hours? What kind of position are you looking for?

[FirstLight]

18. that's part of the futility issue, for sure...

And when the jobsearch yeilds NO calls or replies, it gets to the point where you have saturated the market.

I can do reception, admin work...it's like breathing. Been working front office in all sorts of situations from desiners to contractors to medical/dental since i was 17.

My 'career' is more focused in journalism and PR. I have also learned a little webdesign(though i don't do code!eeek no way!) powerpoint, training and workshop development, etc... and i recently added a certificate in HR mgmt to my bag, through CSU. however, i still don't have a BA and that means all my 'experience' is not good enough to get me to the next level of management or responsibility...I am, and have always been someone elses assistant. Never gotten to really be my own project manager, etc...except for my freelance stuff. Which i thought looked pretty impressive on my resume, but I still got *crickets*
the market sucks, that all... and i am stuck competing with people with BA's who will work for $10 an hour, because that's. all. there. IS.