John Aravosis on being gay in America, 2010, youth suicides & politicians telling us not to whine.

[Bluebear]

...This is what it means to be gay in America in 2010. I think a lot of people who aren't gay, and even many who are, like to think that we're all rich and live in big welcoming cities where being gay is about as big a handicap as being left-handed. We say we want our civil rights, but I think a lot of people think we've got things pretty good, and behind closed doors, they probably call us whiners too.

And I'm sure our lives are pretty good, and just as good as straight people's, except for the part about not being able to get married, have children in many states, keep a job - oh yeah, and that nagging desire to kill ourselves because so many of us grew up thinking we were horrible people who would never be loved, or find love.

I think it's this kind of attitude that leads people to lecture us about "keeping the long view in mind" with regards to getting our civil rights.

I wrote in response, "to paraphrase Keynes, in the long view we're all dead."

Gay civil rights isn't a "social issue." It's our lives. A lot of us, myself included, grew up thinking we'd never see the age of 30 because we'd have to kill ourselves once people found out we were gay. A lot of people have no idea how hard it is to grow up being gay. To grow up thinking God made you wrong. Thinking you will never find love. Thinking your own family and friends will disown you once they know who you really are. And hearing the President of the United States - one of the "good" guys - say that you don't deserve the right to marry the person you love.

And when politicians make promises to us, break promises to us, then lecture us to "stop whining" because the other guy would hurt us even worse, it really hits a raw nerve. It suggests that they don't think our struggle is a struggle. They don't think it's as important as the "important" issues the country faces. It tells us that they think we're just another special interest, no different than the corporate lobbyist trying to get another tax break.

Until kids like Tyler Clementi stop killing themselves, we will continue to whine. We'll whine about bad politicians who try to pass legislation hurting us, and "good" politicians who say the right thing, but can't seem to find the time to fit our civil rights into their busy schedules.

We can't wait any longer. And we won't.

http://www.americablog.com/2010/09/rutgers-freshman-kills-self-after.html

[bullwinkle428]

1. K&R.

[VMI Dem]

2. I'd like to see some surveys performed before I make a call on this one.

[bobbolink]

3. And poor people won't wait any longer, either.

Now, if we were to come together on this, we would be a lot stronger.

[Lyric]

5. Some of us are poor *and* gay.

There are days when I don't even know how I'm going to get through to the next morning. I feel like I'm juggling 10,000 balls, and the moment that one drops, everything is going to fall apart.

:(

[bobbolink]

7. Then we need to work together, don't we?

[JackBeck]

11. Sure, but you've gone out of your way to create a divide between both communities here on DU.

Not that it matters, though, since real change happens with activism outside of this online community, but your work here in DU has been tireless in dividing the communities that may have a common interest, rather than building bridges to bring both of them together.

[bobbolink]

19. When you are able to leave the delusion behind, then we can talk.

Your PROJECTION is a case study.

[nashville_brook]

4. huge k and r -- two years, and they didn't 'find the time.' that's sad. but not as sad as the

real impact their inaction is having on people's lives.

civil rights are not ponies.

[Bluebear]

8. 2 years of a big fat nothing.

:(

[Fearless]

14. +1

[leftstreet]

6. K&R

[lonestarnot]

9. K & R!

[donheld]

10. Politicians who tell us to "Make them do it" shouldn't WHINE

when we try to make them do it.

[DearAbby]

12. K&R

[Fearless]

13. "Gay civil rights isn't a 'social issue.' It's our lives."

Couldn't say it better myself.

:kick:

[Bluebear]

15. yes INDEED

[BillStein]

18. It's not a lifestyle

it's my life

[TexasObserver]

16. recommend

[Bluebear]

17. .