Four US teens bullied for being gay commit suicide in a month. This shit must stop.

[pgodbold]

At least four incidents of young men killing themselves after being bullied over their sexual orientation have been reported in the US in the last month.

PinkNews:
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2010/10/01/four-us-teens-bullied-for-being-gay-commit-suicide-in-a-month/

[LonePirate]

1. When you have one powerful political party and millions of religious bigots promoting hate ...

It's pretty tough to change the culture to prevent these horrible tragedies.

[stray cat]

4. No one is making people bully others. there is no proof that I know of the bullies watch FOX

[mkultra]

6. Lol. Right. Because we know that Tea Baggers arent anti-gay or anything

[Dreamer Tatum]

36. So hate crimes against gays started with the Tea Party? Right. nt

[mkultra]

40. i would say it started with people like tea baggers

and the right continues to attract those very people.

[Dreamer Tatum]

45. Oh fucking please.

Hate crimes are as old as mankind is. If you think people used to hold hands and sing together until Republicans showed up, you should go learn some history.

[mkultra]

46. conservatives dipshit

they have always been around and have always been the bigots. Read a book for god sake.

[Chulanowa]

21. It's a bigger picture

Of course no one is making anyone bully others. However, thanks to the efforts of the GOP and their mouthpeices - and make no fucking mistake, it IS a conscious effort on their part - targeting certain groups for abuse is now seen as acceptable, moral, and even patriotic.

Goering didn't make anyone do anything, either. He and his associates just created a fertile environment for others to indulge in abusing the targeted and isolated classes.

[muffin1]

41. It would be nice

to get more help from that other political party.

[stray cat]

2. So how is it stopped before the fact? People after the fact can face persecution already

[11 Bravo]

34. I hope you meant "prosecution".

[TexasObserver]

3. recommend

[Sweet Charming Dem]

5. Make it five

http://www.pamshouseblend.com/diary/17504/gay-rhode-island-student-raymond-chase-hangs-himself-in-dorm-room

[pgodbold]

11. The thread you posted from Pam's House Blend is fascinating. A must read. TY

[mkultra]

7. frankly i think killing yourself is pretty stupid in itself

But i agree that it needs to stop. Honestly, they should go to jail. i know growing up in my neighborhood was pretty dangerous. Killing yourself never was an option though.

[prolesunited]

24. You should research this topic and develop a better understanding

of suicide before you try to comment on it. It has little to do with fear and more with destroying a person's soul and putting them in a place they feel they have no value and no hope.

[Leftist Agitator]

42. +1

[mkultra]

44. well, i certainly wouldnt want to make any grand pronouncments

but i can guarantee you that where im from, hope and value are none existent but suicide was never an option. Look, i don't want to vilify this kid as he was an innocent. And i don't want to detract from how serious a crime these assholes committed. I'm just saying that suicide is never the answer to any problem.

[AtomicKitten]

8. Something is seriously wrong when death is the preferable choice. nt

[apocalypsehow]

9. Kick, Rec. n/t.

[dsc]

10. Everytime I read these I think of myself when I was their ages

and how many times I thought about and even made plans to end it all. I am so glad I didn't but so sad they did.

[bighart]

12. I am growing weary of all the finger pointing going on this.

I have a son that was bullied relentlessly when he was in school over weight issues. He was smart and courageous enough to come to us and talk about what was going on before it got to the point that he felt he had no options. We went through all kinds of crap to get it stopped, eventually had to get an attorney involved who contacted the school and the parents of the offending kids. All of the it's the right wings fault, it's fox news fault, it's societies fault really miss the point. The fault lies squarely on backs and shoulders of the perpetrators and THEIR PARENTS. Our experience taught me that without the support of the parents whose children are causing the problem the school can't do much to offer a "permanent" solution. Parents need to parent their children and not just be their friends. The media, society, religion, a political party, none of these are to "blame" for the bullying that goes on, the kids that do it and their parents are the ones responsible.

[LonePirate]

13. Where do you think these kids and parents "learn" that bullying is acceptable?

Sure, the kids and their parents are to blame; but they commit these acts because they are bombarded with hatred from people in power such as the clergy and politicians. If so many powerful people are promoting hate, these people probably think they are not doing anything wrong.

You can fault the perpetrators. I place the primary blame on the people who teach and tell them that their hate is acceptable. The perpetrators are merely following orders.

[bighart]

16. Sorry, but I disagree based on my experience.

It has more to do with not having appropriate limits set and enforced on behavior than it does with "hate". Those who are bullied are different and those who don't fit the norm are easy targets. From junior high on fitting in is what it is all about. Some of the kids that bullied my son were his friends just a year or two before, and some of them are his friends now. They never "hated" him they just saw doing what they did as a way to fit in with a group and not feel stigmatized themselves. I have talked to some of these now young adults about this. Parental involvement teaching them that it is ok to be outside the norm would go along way to curbing this. Disciple at home for acts like this at school would also be a big help. Problem is both of those things take time, effort and concern that too many parents are not willing to invest.

[stevenleser]

30. Parents are ultimately responsible. But the social/political/media climate play a part

Parents need to spend time parenting their kids, as you said and also teaching that different is OK.

[bighart]

47. So what is the cause of bullying for things like buck teeth, red hair,

too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, wrong brand of shoes, good grades, bad grades, musical ability, lack of athletic prowess etc.

[Chulanowa]

25. Yes, the fault lies with their parents; the other groups are clearly enablers, however.

I grew up surrounded by a bunch of some of the deepest racists you can imagine. None of them ever, to my recollection, ever used the N-word publicly, though. Not because they felt it was "wrong" but because they knew doing so would cost their reputation and public image. They were still absolute hateful fuckfaces, but they had the sense of decorum and self-preservation to keep it to themselves.

But what if we had lived twenty, thirty years earlier, when shouting such terms and openly speaking of hating blacks, and jews, and asians was completely acceptable? These people would not have been any more racist; They simply would have been more open, more willing to target and act on their hate.

[readmoreoften]

38. Someone with a weight problem can go to their parents for help

to be "courageous". LGBT teens often have to be courageous all by themselves, usually with their own parents being a big part of the problem.

These bad parents and nasty kids are getting their ideas from somewhere. Fundamentalist religious institutions, politicians, et. al. are a big source of information for hundreds of millions of people. Hence, LGBT immiseration...

[treestar]

14. People kill themselves because of depression

Which can strike straights, too. These individuals suffered from Depression, as do many others. They need help for that, not focus on what others have done (though if criminal, what the others did should be punished).

[Chulanowa]

28. So treat the symptom and don't adress the cause? n/t

[treestar]

31. That's putting it harshly. The depressed person needs treatment for

depression, first. We can handle all kinds of things if we aren't depressed.

[Chulanowa]

32. Except the depression has a cause, in this case

That cause is abuse. And yes, that's exactly what "bullying" is, is plain and simple abuse. Calling it "bullying" makes it sound childish and harmless, which it very clearly is not.

[treestar]

33. Depression's causes are very complex

Anti-depressant medication is based on chemical reactions in the brain. People don't get depressed just because bad things happen to them, or avoid it because they have a good life. This person needed to have depression addressed first, gay or straight, that's the case.

We can still condemn the bullying and abuse, but people endure that without killing themselves, or kill themselves without anything seemingly bad having happened to them, because they suffer from depression.

[ScreamingMeemie]

43. Not always true treestar, not always true.

My husband did not kill himself because of Depression. Sometimes it's a moment in time.

[Jamastiene]

15. K&R

I'm sure someone will drop by soon and tell you everything else in the entire world is more important than your single issue.

So, I'm recommending your OP to try to counteract the ones who will gang up and crap all over the thread.

I agree with your OP.
This shit must stop.

K&R.

[Mnemosyne]

17. Bullies raised by bullies, what a sick country. KnR n/t

[DevonRex]

18. K&R. They were so very, very young. It breaks my heart. nt

[MuseRider]

19. I hope after these last few weeks

and all these reports there is not a single person who has the nerve to come on to this thread and tell you all once again that asking for your civil rights is like asking for a pony and not nearly as important as all the other weighty issues. With equality will come respect. Unfortunately in this country it might take a while and will never be universal but respect will follow.

[Initech]

20. As someone who was bullied, I have zero sympathy for them.

[prolesunited]

22. Zero sympathy for people so destroyed

they decided to kill themselves? Seriously?

[Initech]

23. No, I meant zero sympathy for the bullies.

Sorry forgot to clarify that.

[prolesunited]

27. That sounds better

It really was unclear.

[Initech]

29. It's Friday. I had a long and frustrating week. It happens.

[Spyderama]

26. Two Recommended Reads

I wrote a book back in 2002 that covered the root causes of bullying in a detailed, psychosocial manner. All parents of kids who are being bullied should read it. The book is not intended to be read by children younger than high school age due to its mature sexual content, although the subject matter covered begins when a child enters the first grade.

http://www.amazon.com/Last-Horizon-Feminine-Sexuality-System/dp/0595244726/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285967499&sr=1-2

I have read all the books by a favorite author of mine named Jacqueline S. Homan. Although not her most professionally edited and produced book, her Eyes of a Monster is a riveting read. It is the story of the first gay hate crime trial in America, as told by someone who was closely involved with the story.

http://www.amazon.com/Eyes-Monster-Jacqueline-S-Homan/dp/0981567924/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285968422&sr=1-3

[Zhade]

35. kick

kick

[TK421]

37. Nothings gonna happen...if kids who aren't gay are bullied daily ( and they are ) then

it stands to reason most people won't even bother intervening if the bullying is centered on a kids sexual orientation, I mean, some people even see this shit as being normal.

I was bullied from grade school through high school, and I wasn't gay but just someone who didn't like other kids ( I was a bit of a loner ). I think that may have made me a target, but the grade school bullying stopped when I took Tae Kwon Do. If you're the parent of a bullied kid, this might be a good solution, because other peoples little fucking animals quit fucking with me once I retaliated.

Sad that you even have to resort to this kind of fucking bullshit just so you can get an education...KEEP A FUCKING LEASH ON YOUR LITTLE BASTARD ANIMALS, YOU FUCKERS!! That might be part of the solution right there

[Donald Ian Rankin]

39. Is that an unusually high rate?

3 x 10^8 Americans
3 x 10^7 gay Americans
5 x 10^6 gay American teens

4 suicides in a month = 50 suicides a year = 1 in 10^5 gay American teens killing themselves every year. And I would guess that the vast majority of gay teens in the US experience at least homophobic bullying.

So actually, I think this isn't "4 gay American teens kill themselves in one year, marking a spike in suicide rates", it's "Media reports gay teen committing suicide, and then follows up with other gay teen suicide headlines because now they've become a theme and hence newsworthy".