Have you used the "F" word in front of your kids?

[trumad]

I have ---and I got to say that the regret of me using it in front of them lingers with me for sometime after. It usually happens when I'm pushed to a point where my mouth overtakes my common sense. It's rare--- but I'm noticing the older they get the less rare it becomes. My kids are 13--12---10.

I know it's just a word---but damn I feel guilty when I use it in front of them. I know---I know--- the easy answer is QUIT DOING IT!

But here's the thing--- I love that word and with my adult buddies I use it quite often. I think it's one of the greatest words ever because it can be used in so many ways---good, bad, etc.

So--- that's why I think it carries over (accidentally) when I get heated with my kids.

[rucky]

1. I have a habit of cursing when I drive.

my 2 year old's picked up on "holy shit". Of course, I made the mistake of laughing when she repeated it.

We cursed in my home growing up (never in anger at each other, though), and quickly picked up on the fact that it's something you don't do in public.

[etherealtruth]

15. Ooooh that has been my problem ...

... at least your baby only picked up "holy shit" ... Mine are 25, 13 and 11 and I am too ashamed to admit what they had picked up when very young (90% of the time from car excursions) ... and in answer to the OP, yes I have said the "F" word in front of my kids (I am certainly not proud of it) ... and yes, it was while driving:(

[acmavm]

2. Want a big surprise? I have a 14-year old. Quite a while back I was in

the position of overhearing him and some of his friends talking and they didn't know I could. (Dummies shouldn't hold conversations right outside the windows by which I am sitting.)

They used words that I have never used in my life. And I'm not sure if they used some of them right, or I just don't know what they mean, or they've changed the meaning (sort of like they say 'sick' to mean cool (what an old fogey I am).

Anyway, it is not good to swear around kids, but I have done it. But so help me, these kids nowadays can outswear me in a heartbeat.

[KharmaTrain]

3. Depends On How The "F" Bomb Is Dropped

Two forms...one dropped by accident or in free-flowing conversation and the other form directed at someone in an "untoward" manner.

My kids are over 18 now and the "f" word is bantered around, but never in a pejorative fashion...and I think that's because we never, ever would swear or verbally attack our children with language. Call it perspective, but it's not the words that are the problem, it's the way they're used.

Personally, I'm always very careful in the language I use around children...the old radio "censor" button goes on...damns become darns and shits become sheeshs.

[Cooley Hurd]

4. Trumad, see if you can find the documentary "Fuck." It's hysterical!

It roughly covers the history of the word, interspersed with interviews with people like Billy Connolly and Bill Maher.:rofl:

As far as using it with the kids, at least they know you're really pissed when you use it, so it kinda serves a purpose as a non-corporal parenting device.:shrug:

[gollygee]

5. I hurt my toe this morning and accidentally said it

I don't think my daughter heard me!

I try to avoid it but sometimes it slips out. I'm worse with "damnit!" and "jesus christ!"

I'm afraid she'll say something like that in an inappropriate place and I'll be desperately embarrassed because everyone will know it came from me, so I try really hard not to.

She is 5.

[lonestarnot]

6. Ever driven a wagon full of teenage boys anywhere?

[jwirr]

7. I have and I hear my grandchildren using it - both girls and boys.

I have come to realize that they are often using it to express the great frustration and anger they have for the way things in this world are going. In my opinion it is better than some of the other more violent and self destructive ways that they could be using. I would prefer that we all find more positive actions to address world problems but that is a big issue.

[Hamlette]

8. I do all the time and tell him not to do it

I feel worse about saying it to a woman I work with. I have to "get along" with her and don't think I ever said the "f" word in front of her until one day she said she didn't watch the Sopranos because of the "f" word. She said she's not a prude blah blah but they used the world all the time. And she's not really a prude. Anyway, now it seems I can't help myself. About every 3rd or 4th time I talk to her it slips out and I feel awful about it.

My kid is 24 now and I try not to but like you, sometimes f*** just happens. I'm very quick to tell him he shouldn't swear whenever he does.

[rasputin1952]

9. Yep, but it is in the context used that matters...I find it difficult

to watch bush and not have numerouos expletives pour out of my mouth...:)

[seabeyond]

10. yes i have and do. no i dont feel guilty. we deal with it

look at it from an odd kinda perspective. i am so tough on all of us from a different angle. love, kindness, compassion, honesty, morality, responsibility. the cussing is a little non perfection of who i am. a lesson for the boys that though the demands are high, perfection isnt going to happen. a desensitation. an ironic twist of who i am in all my goodness. yada yada yada.

boys and i have talked about this often.

i have one son that is so opposeed to cussing and hitting middle school judges kids by the cussing, so with my cussing and discussion of it we have stepped out of the box

i have another son younger that loves the idea of cussing. he isnt a rule follower like i am not. he likes to shock, like i do.

neither are allowed and neither cuss. we have delved into that issue too

we use the issue of cussing for a handful of beyond lessons. i am particular in the words that i use. offended by some and chose not to use those. my mother was a cusser. i dont use the words she does and she would be totally bothered cause my favorite is fuck...

[msongs]

11. you can put out a rap music cd now and be one of the crowd nt

[berni_mccoy]

12. I was on the phone with a conservative friend of mine and my kids overheard me

I said, "Oh, YOU ARE SUCH A FREEPER!"

I'll have to watch my language next time I'm on the phone with my kids around.

[stellanoir]

13. Similarly to what Cooley Hurd said in post #4

There is also a hysteric animation I had seen, but I just went looking for a link as I had lost the specific link in a computer crash last year.

All I found was this. . .

http://fun.drno.de/flash/Proper_Use_Of_English.swf (I couldn't load this but perhaps it's just not Mac friendly)

http://grin.hu/funtxt/fido/en/fuck.html (this is sort of similar info)

Basically the animation was set to strains of Vivalidi and had a British man declaring "F*ck, the most versatile word in the English language. I can be used as a noun, a verb, a tranisitive verb. . .(etc.)"

Then it spoke of the myriad of different emotions that word can convey and showed stick figures in various positions doing various things to each other.

So I played it for my kid and his buddie when they were probably about 10 years old and for a while instead of cursing each other out they woulld say "Oh the most versatile word in the English Language YOU !!!" LOL They couldn't get detention for saying that in school.

Prior to seeing that funny animation I just told my kid and all his buddies that using that word in a negative connotation could possibly have a negative influence on their future sex lives just by less than virtue of its negative association.

To think kids haven't heard that word spoken by someone by ages 6-8 (if not before) in this culture is beyond naive.

I think it's a parent's responsibility to be straight with their kids from the get go.

I did curse my kid out with that word one time when he was about 4. I was all dressed up for work and ran down to my garden to pick a bouquet and he grabbed the garden hose and completely drenched me. I felt so badly and apologized profusely to him and expained how I felt about it and stayed home from work to compensate for my HUGE faux pas. OMG did I feel horribly about having done that.

[Benhurst]

14. No, Freeper is such an ugly, hateful word, I wouldn't use it in front of anyone.

[Cerridwen]

16. You might give yourself a break about it.

First, I'll note I don't have children. Secondly, I'll note that I "helped raise" my sister who's 14 years younger than I. Thirdly, I'll note that my dad used the word "fuck" about every other word; along with dozens of other words which are racist and bigoted and ugly. By the time I was 8 or so, I had a large vocabulary of ethnic and racial epithets that would have made a linguist proud...or shudder. Neither my sister nor I, nor even our brother seems to have been permanently traumatized by it. My mom was embarrassed, we kids were fine.

I grew up thinking swear/curse words were just another form of adjective or exclamation and I learned to avoid their use in "polite society." I also learned that words have power; otherwise, why avoid the use of certain words in "polite society". I learned that by not using "those" words on a frequent basis, when I did chose to let one loose, the impact is astounding. They can be extremely effective rhetorical tools.

And finally, when you said "that's why I think it carries over (accidentally) when I get heated with my kids." I was reminded of something I was once told; if you want to know a person's native tongue, listen to what language they swear in after they've hit their thumb with a hammer. :D

[tularetom]

17. You mean today? No, but it's still early

actually my kids are in their 40's and I never used it in front of them when they were growing up. But you should hear how easily it rolls off their tongues now. And you wouldn't believe what comes out of the ladylike mouths of my two lovely granddaughters.

[Warren Stupidity]

18. It is just a word.

And it is commonplace. And your 10 year old has heard it elsewhere at least 1,000 times. When people get up on their high and mighty hobby horse regarding one of my favorite words, I just tell them to "fuck off" with that nonsense.

[leftofthedial]

19. way too fucking many times

sometimes I just can't fucking help it

I mean, I'll see fucking king george or motherfucking unka dick or some other fucking repuke on the fucking TV and I'll just get so fucking mad I can't fucking stand it.

That's usually when the fucking "F" word slips out despite my best fucking efforts.

My daughters are 13 and 19 and have never fucking heard the fucking "F" word anywhere else.

I'm such a fucking bad father.

[Thirtieschild]

20. Never used it. My generation generally didn't.

One of DH's favorite words, but not in front of our children. Or me. However, our daughter vividly remembers hearing the voice of Santa Claus floating up the stairs as he put toys together: "Jesus H. Christ", "Goddamn it", "@#$%^" etc.

[madokie]

21. Yes I have, but you can bet your sweet bippy I won't in front of my grandkids though

theres something to be said about getting older and wiser, one is a given the other is an effort :-)

[Nikia]

22. If you don't want to do it

You either have to to eliminate it from your vocabulary or consider your adult buddy language as a separate language than your family language. Do you say it at work or do you work in an environment where that is acceptable?
As for me personally, with my job and where I live, I am better off speaking professionally full time, although sometimes I tend to talk the way other people, who I am around, talk.

[LibDemAlways]

23. Hardly ever.....However, my daughter (14)

attends the occasional rock concert, so she's no stranger to the word. Rock stars have a very limited between-songs vocabulary.

[davsand]

24. I had to explain what it means, THEN we talked about using the word.

I'm sure I may have used it somewhere some time in front of her. I am, however, not inclined to use it in front of kids as a conscious decision.

A funny story about a kid picking up swear words comes from when my daughter was just very young. We were in the car on the way to Grandma's house and Material Girl was sitting in her car seat just chattering away--almost a little chant. I had to do a double take because WHAT she was saying over and over again was "God Dammit. God Dammit. God Dammit." in that little tiny toddler voice...

Needless to say Grandma and Grandpa were not amused.


Laura

[stevedeshazer]

25. I don't see what the big fuckin' deal is

Both my kids (they're grown now) can cuss up a storm, and I let them, even when they were small.

They know when and when not to.

Cuss words are just words.

[SmokingJacket]

26. My kids yell at me when I say "crap."

I say all sorts of things in front of them, but for some reason, they don't swear at all. (I have great kids... one's reading over my shoulder. ;) )

[Rosemary2205]

27. I said "fuck you" to a superior court judge.

My husband and I were both disabled by a drunk driver. At the guy's sentencing 2.5 years after the fact my husband and I were given an opportunity to have a say before the sentence was handed down. My husband was having a lot of difficulty talking but he had something he really needed to say. The judge got impatient and had something snotty to say to my husband and I went off with something close to - "if you can't delay a lunch break for 5 stinkin' minutes to give a disabled man a chance to say his peace then fuck you".

I'm still shocked I didn't wind up in the slammer myself.