I Want to be a Stepford Wife

[proud2BlibKansan]

I think I understand why people become republicans. It’s easier to not care, not cry, not be angry. It’s easier to be blind to the injustices in this country, or to pretend you don’t see them. It makes you feel good to think you have worked hard and have a good life and a family you are proud of, a family you created from all that hard work. A family whose values you can feel responsible for, and that’s an accomplishment you can be proud of.

It’s easier not to think about OTHER PEOPLE. Other people who are different from you and your family. Why go to all the trouble to understand those people who are different? You are too busy working hard and building that life and that family you are so proud of.

Who has the time to waste a beautiful mind thinking about unpleasant things? There are just too many of those unpleasant things in this country; no way can any one person wrap their mind around all of them or even part of them. Because if you find yourself caring about just one of those homeless people, just one of those displaced refugees, then what will keep you from caring about another one and then just a few more? Before you know it, you will actually be giving them money or spending some of your precious free time (when you aren’t working hard) doing something to help someone, and after all, your family needs you there to help them adopt those values you plan on being proud of.

I came to this revelation while watching the most wonderful independent film. If you really are a republican, you don’t want to ever watch Independent Lens on PBS. It is a weekly series of documentaries, usually about people who are different, people you don’t want to waste your beautiful mind worrying about.

This film was called Sentenced Home. It was about three young men from Seattle, WA. Actually they were from Cambodia. When they were kids, their families escaped the Khmer Rouge and Pol Pot in Cambodia. The oldest of these three young men was eight when he came to the United States. Now that they are young adults, they are being deported back to Cambodia. Because they, like many teenagers living in urban high crime areas, committed crimes as teenagers, they now have to leave the US. One of them had one incident as a 16 year old, never got into trouble again and when his wife talked him into applying for citizenship over 10 years later, he was detained and deported.

As I watched this film, I cried. I couldn’t understand why the American dream is available to my two kids, who are about the same age as these three men in the film, yet denied to people who have sure had a harder life than my kids have. One of my kids also had problems as a teenager and he was allowed to start over and no one is making him leave the US.

I actually had to turn off this show and calm myself down. The scene that got me was when one of these men met up with a teacher he had when he first came to America. The teacher was showing him class pictures and I remembered that I too had taught many kids who had immigrated from southeast Asia in the 1980s. I too have class pictures just like that teacher had. And I started wondering about the kids I taught 20 years ago, whose parents came here from Cambodia and Vietnam and Laos. Were any of them facing deportation now?

That’s when I realized that if I was a republican, I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t be crying and worrying about young people I taught 20 years ago. I wouldn’t be angry at an unfair criminal justice system. And the idea of just not caring actually appeals to me.

Think of all the time I would have if I didn’t care. I could take up all kinds of hobbies. If I didn’t care about the environment, I could spend my weekends riding 4 wheelers in the country. I could join a book club and meet with other people who also don’t care and we could discuss trashy romance novels. I could finally learn to play Bunko, that game the republican women in my community play.

If I didn’t care about world peace, I could convince my two strapping young sons to join the military and go over and fight those insurgents in Iraq. And then I wouldn’t have to worry about paying their college tuition!

I could join a church and condemn others who don’t bother to show up on Sunday morning. I could tithe and write one check a month to my church instead of the many I write now to so many different left wing charitable causes.

I could be proud to be an American once again. Since I really do miss that pride, this really appeals to me. I like the idea of United We Stand. I miss being proud and not fearing my government.

I am tired of worrying my little head about such complicated issues as the war in Iraq. My kids are not in the military, why should I worry about other people’s kids who are?

I am tired of worrying my little head about 43 million Americans without health care. I have health care. Oh but I just remembered that my two kids are two of those 43 million. So I guess I should worry about that.

I don’t want to worry about hungry people anymore. It is wearing me out. What can I do to solve that problem? If I become a republican, I can just deny hunger in America.

So I really do understand why people, especially my generation, become republicans. It is easier to be a sheep. Stepford wives only worry about what time he wants dinner. And that is so appealing!

Now where did I leave those tranquilizers?

[maddezmom]

1. great rant

:thumbsup: I especially like the part about Bunko....what the hell is that anyway?

[proud2BlibKansan]

2. I don't know - some dumb dice game

I used to work part time in a Hallmark store and all the republican women who shopped there played Bunko every Wed night. They worked really hard at getting me to come join them. But the idea of having to talk to them when I wasn't working was just too much. I was paid to be polite to them. On my own time, I just didn't have it in me.

Thanks for the compliment.

[TahitiNut]

3. Just remember ...

... "Father Knows Best."




:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[proud2BlibKansan]

4. Oh I loved that show!

One more reason - I could be just like Margaret! (wasn't that Jane Wyman's character?)

[TahitiNut]

8. Yep. Margaret Anderson. As an adolescent with divorced parents, that show was escapism for me.

Like many TV shows (e.g. Ozzie & Harriet), it twisted my perception of the 'real world' in ways that took years to correct. I actually thought there were real people who lived that way. While I watched that video Valium, I was swallowing heavy dosages of immorality and sexism - but the sugar make the poison go down easily. There's absolutely no question in my mind that huge numbers of fly-over right-wingers actually regard that show as a portrayal of "how things used to be" ... even people not alive then.

One of the better (imho) perspectives was voiced by Billy Gray ("Bud") ...

"I wish there was some way I could tell kids not to believe it - the dialogue, the situations, the characters - they were all totally false. The show did everybody a disservice. The girls were always trained to use their feminine wiles, to pretend to be helpless to attract men. The show contributed to a lot of the problems between men and women that we see today. ... I think we were all well motivated, but what we did was run a hoax. 'Father Knows Best' purported to be a reasonable facsimile of life. And the bad thing is that the model is so deceitful. It usually revolved around not wanting to tell the truth, either out of embarassment, or not wanting to hurt someone....If I could say anything to make up for all the years I lent myself to that kind of bullshit, it would be: *You* know best."

[rucky]

5. I live in Stepford.

Trust me, it doesn't take much for that facade to become completely unhinged. They may be hiding it from us, but not from themselves.

[proud2BlibKansan]

6. You are ruining my dream

:cry:

[I Have A Dream]

7. So very true! K&R> n/t

[live love laugh]

9. I watched the reality show Real Housewives from Orange County and

at the end they had a show where they were all interviewed and all were Republican save one young woman who didn't care about politics at all. I was disgusted that I had ever watched them at all. One, who was the strongest Repug, talked about how she read every newspaper everyday and considered herself informed. :eyes:

All were millionaires by marriage or were dating them. They loved money (the true Republican God). Basically they bought stuff, and didn't want their kids dating certain kinds of people and they did not just care about money, they botoxed themselves silly and had implants galore. Very shallow.

[proud2BlibKansan]

13. I am thinking it is easier to be shallow

:shrug:

[Cerridwen]

10. I tried it once - I tried to unlearn what I knew, to stop knowing

what I'd learned. It very literally made me sick. Denial is an unhealthy condition which manifests in some ugly ways. *sigh* But, I sure understand what you're saying.

[Cabcere]

11. I know where you're coming from.

I, too, often wish I could just shut off my compassion and human emotions and not care, not feel anything. Since my friend's death in Iraq in February, I've felt pain I didn't know was possible. I've experienced depths of despair to which I did not know I could sink...and at times like that, I would have given almost anything to be able to just not give a damn. It hurts so much to think about my friend and the thousands of others like him who will never live to see their 20th birthdays, or those who he joined the service to try to save - husbands, wives, parents and other children who are now dead because of this insane war. Add onto that the knowledge that there are millions of people dying horrible deaths every day from totally preventable causes like malaria or contaminated drinking water or malnutrition/starvation, and the knowledge that we are destroying our environment at an alarming rate, and that even in the United States people are still abused, stripped of their humanity, and even murdered for being "different" - it's almost too much to deal with, sometimes. There are times I wish I could just not care...but then I realize that caring is what makes us human. To become callous and immune to the pain of others for the sole purpose of living a blissfully ignorant existence is to give up our humanity, and I feel that that is what many of those "Stepford wife" types have done. The only thing they embrace is greed...we must hold on to our humanity and compassion, no matter how painful it is, because only by recognizing the extent of the problem can we do something to solve it. :hug:

OK, rant over.

[proud2BlibKansan]

14. I am sorry to hear about your friend

:cry:

[Cabcere]

15. Thanks.

I keep thinking I'll be okay and just be able to keep his memory and move on, but today there was an article in the paper about him - they interviewed his mother, and I just about lost it. :cry: I hate this war.

[Bluerthanblue]

12. I'm glad

you aren't a stepford wife-

Because you wouldn't share your heart with us, and encourage us to look at life with eyes wide open.

:hug:



blu

[StarryNite]

30. She wouldn't even have a heart

if she were a rethuglican.

[cascadiance]

16. They learn from the top!...

[proud2BlibKansan]

18. Oh wow I'll bet her pretty little head

is very troubled.

[pacalo]

17. I'm so impressed. You're dead on about their attitude!

[proud2BlibKansan]

19. I live in red state hell

So I live and breathe with them.

[shimmergal]

20. Good essay, and I know you have to

use colorful illustrations to reinforce your point. But I do want to quibble about a couple of them.

First, the "read trashy romance novels." Well, I WRITE what some might consider trashy romance novels (actually nearer "trashy fantasy/romance crossover novels"). And I'vejust been nominated to be president of my local RWA chapter. Almost all our members are, or have been, women of accomplishment in various fields: education, law, aviation, commercial art, book trade; there's even a woman who is an ex-intelligence operative. We don't talk politics, but from subtle asides I'm guessing there are a lot more anti-Bush people than mindless Repugs. All sorts of women read romance novels; most of its sub-genres have come a long way from the days of the heroine looking for a man to give purpose to her life. I really doubt the genre would have so wide a readership if the readers' values clashed so much with those of us who write them.

And lots of us go to church (at least occasionally) because it refreshes our spirit _and_ our church is one of the biggest participants in community social service projects. Some churches "walk the walk" rather than just talking about godliness etc. But others can make this case better than me.

On Bunco, though, I only ran into it at a Newcomers' Club I belonged to for a while. Never played, and some of the club members were OK, but then there was the rich Repub woman who bragged that not only had she never held a job in her life, she hadn't read a book since college (she was in her mid-60s). Too many members were like that, so the other posters may well be right about Bunco. I've left that group'cause it didn't have enough there worth staying for.

[proud2BlibKansan]

21. Well here in my community, those things are true

But I understand what you are saying. I also used to read romance novels but then bush got elected and I got worried. Now I spend my free time trying to save my country.

[saracat]

26. shimmergal I agree with most of your response.There is another DUer who writes romance as well.

And she was active in RWA as well. I only read it! I will add this about Bunco.I belinged, under pressure to several Bunco groups but many of us were Dems and only played as an excuse to drink and party as the game is mindless! So it isn't only GOP women who play Bunco. I just don't have time for it anymore and we get together and 'party" other ways now!

[Mabus]

22. Very powerful

Thank you for both the essay and for being you, the way you are now. If you even try to become a Stepford Wife I will personally shoot you. Although, if truth be known, I might have to stand in line behind several other of my fellow pacifists before I got my Cheney*. That's right, if you go Stepford Wife on me, I'll suppress my pacifist leanings and put you out of (y)our misery.

*Mabus' definition of "Cheney"
Pronunciation: 'chE-nE, commonly 'chA-nE
Function: noun
Etymology: from Richard Bruce Cheney, 1941- American politician; selected vice president of the United States (2001- )
Synonyms: SNAFU (situation normal all fucked up (fouled up)) and "going postal"
: a situation marked by errors or confusion
: MUDDLE; also : an error causing such a situation (a Cheney bird hunt)
: insanely or murderously violent -- ("It wasn't pretty. There wasn't much left to identify. He went Cheny on him")
SEE ALSO: Yosemite Sam

[Madspirit]

23. K&R...Great!...n/t

[leftchick]

24. it ain't just republicans

there are PLENTY of so-called democrats that fit into the stepford niche. Plenty.

[Fleshdancer]

25. I go through phases like that too

There are times when my bleeding heart can't take it anymore and I actually take a week or two and turn off the tv and do nothing but read novels in my spare time. My house tends to be much cleaner during those times as well and I do go into a weird Stepford wife mode (thankfully it's temporary because it freaks my husband out and makes him uncomfortable).

Take the day off mentally and emotionally. Do something mindless or selfish and just know that this feeling will pass. :hug:

[treestar]

27. I have had the very cynical thought that

this culture is heaven for the shallow and the stupid. In fact, if you want to be happy, just be one of those giggling, laughing, healthy, good looking young girls without a brain in their heads. Think of it, everything caters to them. The shallower you are, the better your chance of happiness. Just buy stuff and get all excited about stupid shit.

And be very popular with everyone else. That's a given as long as you smile, never complain, and never notice anything wrong.

[upi402]

28. The Cambodian men should be allowed to stay, apply for waiver

The US Customs and Immigration is now under Homeland Security. So it may need to be put on medication.

[w4rma]

29. Nice. You get it. You understand them. Now you know the mindset of people we're up against.

And from this knowledge, along with knowledge about the power brokers and what affect they are willing to have on a vote and polls and previous election results, you can determine what sort of campaign needs to be run to get enough of the folks, with that mindset, to vote the way that you want them to vote.

[mntleo2]

31. I wish I Was A Stepford Wife Too Proud2BLib

...I just ran into a childhood friend and we both grew up liberal way up in the Cascade mountains of Washington State. Our dads were proud union men, and liberals who came out of WOBBLY families. I was so glad to see him and reconnect with him as it had been over 35 years.

That is I was glad until he told me he was going to one of those mega wingnut churches. I awoke this morning struggling with it all because now I am not sure I want to reconnect or not. I love his mother, adored his dad and loved his brothers as a child (we were babies together and neighbors until the age of 15). While my mom and dad regularly went to church, his family weren't even church attendees, so I know it took a lot for him to decide to go. And I dearly loved him growing up as well. he looked so good, and I could see church life and a good healthy family life has done well for him (both his parents and my father were alcoholics and I believe his father died of it). I would have to credit his faith for how well he looked because both of us grew up in loving but still quite dysfunctional homes.

When I proudly mentioned my church, which was nearby his church, and how we had all marched for peace and worked against the war, he looked troubled and said he supported the troops. I began to realize perhaps I should be cautious about pursuing re-connecting. Yet I awoke thinking of his family and him this morning, haunted by that choice because I miss them all and love them all. I just wished I did not care so much about the hunger and homelessness, the war and all the inequality I suspect he is ignoring (he spoke with regret and distance about his younger brother, a marine and the only son of his 3 male siblings, to enlist in the service, who is now living in a tent and homeless). But I know his church and there Jeeeeeeezus will take care of it all so we good christians should not worry about such things.

AARRGGHH!

Cat In Seattle

[proud2BlibKansan]

32. I know just how you feel

In this political climate, it is scary when you run into old friends and realize they are right wingers. :scared:

[nam78_two]

33. K&R

One of the best pieces I have ever read on DU :patriot:.

Thank you for this and all your efforts.

[proud2BlibKansan]

34. Thank you so much!

:)

[Jeanette in FL]

35. Oh Proud, I wish I would have seen this when I could have recommend

What an awesome rant.

Yes, how easy it would be for all of us to be republicans. Not a care in the world. We could join the country clubs and have our martini's, after all it is not our kids or grandkids that will have to fight our rich man's wars.

We have ours, fuck the rest of you's. How easy that must be.

I wish I would have seen this last night when I could have recommended, but I can still send it back to the top.