'Sexted' Photo leads to Bullying and Suicide of girl age 13

[cbdo2007]

How a cell phone picture led to girl's suicide

(CNN) -- At age 13, Hope Witsell struggled in middle school. Not because her class work at Shields Middle School in Ruskin, Florida, was challenging, but because Hope was being bullied.

Her friend, Kyla Stich, told CNN that fellow students would "walk up to her and call her 'slut,' 'whore,' and they would sometimes, they would call her 'skank' and just be really cruel to her."

Another friend, Lexi Leber, said, "We had to make like a wall, we had people surrounding her, and she had to be in the middle because people would come by and try to hit her and push her into a locker or something.

"She was afraid to walk alone, she was afraid someone would do something to her, like verbally attack her, so she would always have someone with her," Leber added.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/10/07/hope.witsells.story/index.html?hpt=C2
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm shocked this isn't get as much attention here as other bullying cases the past few weeks. This is horrible.

[one_voice]

1. Another heartbreaking story....

this has got to stop. Where are the parents of the kids doing the bullying? What about teachers and school officials? I imagine to some degree their hands are tied. The parents go in and bully school administrators and their kids go around school and torture students. A vicious cycle.

Kids have got to be taught that bullying is not acceptable, under any circumstances.

[FiveGoodMen]

4. Every time someone tries to stop bullying, some xtain group opposes them.

Know your enemies.

[cbdo2007]

6. I've never heard of this.

When have christian groups been in favor of bullying?

[lolly]

8. They claim anti-bullying = pro-gay

Yes, various "Pro-Family" organizations have opposed anti-bullying movements and laws claiming that such laws condone homosexuality.

[seabeyond]

11. what? did you hear that from one extremist group? and that is all christian. geeezuz. nt

[ClassWarrior]

51. The poster said "some xtain group." How does that become "all christian?" (sic)

:shrug:

Ironic that this is a bullying thread.

NGU.

[seabeyond]

53. it goes along with the EVERYTIME.... nt

[ClassWarrior]

55. You know, there is a difference between "group" and "time," right?

NGU.

[seabeyond]

56. it is an absurd statement. simple. make what you want of it. nt

[ClassWarrior]

57. I agree that the "every time" part is absurd, unless the poster meant...

..."lately, every time," in which case s/he is just taking a verbal shortcut. We all do it.

But you weren't arguing the "every time" part. You were trying to accuse the poster of indicting every Christian person when s/he actually said "some xtian group." And that's also an absurd statement.

:shrug:

NGU.

[FiveGoodMen]

9. I haven't kept a list of articles over the years, but I've read dozens of pieces

on church groups opposed to anti-bullying laws because they want to keep ragging on gay kids.

As just one immediate example:

http://minnesotaindependent.com/72038/minnesota-family-council-talks-bullying-on-anderson-cooper-360

"Tom Prichard, president of the Minnesota Family Council, appeared on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360 Tuesday evening to defend his remarks criticizing efforts to create a less hostile climate for LGBT students in the Anoka-Hennepin School District. The district has seen seven suicides so far this year, three of which anti-bullying advocates say involved LGBT students."

[femrap]

62. And I'm sure they like

ragging on 'whores' as well. Pretty soon, they'll bring back burning them at the stakes.

[MadMaddie]

45. The state of WA is an example

A couple of yeas a go we had a anti-bullying bill that was on it's way to being passed and the Christian groups here got their panties in a twist over it. Their claim was that if the bill was passed it would prevent them (the Christians)from expressing their freedom of speech. I am not making this up.

Extreme zeolots don't want their right to bully and intimidate those that are different interfered with.

[seabeyond]

7. wtf? christians encourage bullying? nt

[Hydra]

20. What, you're surprised?

"Turn the other cheek" and ""And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites" are SO last Millennium. Besides, the Old Testament is so much more fun! They can claim God's will when they want to be themselves(in all their twisted glory), AND claim Jesus' eternal(and perpetual) forgiveness when it come to their own shortcomings.

[seabeyond]

22. 17% makes ALL of christians? this is the openmindedness that you are assuming

you have over the christian in your snarky self righteousness.

[Hydra]

28. I'm a Christian myself

And my family behaves no better. They somehow think Jesus was a Republican and hated people with non-missionary position sex tastes. They aren't even fundies.

Your automatic defense of bad behavior is, however, interesting. What's your stake in making Christians as a group look pure, when they obviously aren't? Most of the people going to church with me have no idea what the book waiting for them in the pews means, let alone taking it with them when they leave.

Do enlighten me as to how our cross wearing brethren are making the world a better place by promoting ignorance and intolerance at every turn, as they have throughout the centuries. I am most curious to know.

[seabeyond]

31. defense? ridiculous statements that christians are pro bully are as close minded

as the very people they are attacking. pure hypocrisy.

i dont have a toe in this battle of defending christianity. it is the ridiculous blind attack on christianity at every turn on du, that is beyond absurd in their hypocrisy.

i am from calif. never met a fundie in my life until i moved to panhandle of texas. i have my own cross to burn when it comes to the fundie. i am all for discussion of fundie belief. but i am clever enough to understand the fundie is not ALL christians, and i can keep a balanced and reasonable perspective on christianity or any religion or the non religious

hate is hate. doesnt matter how it is wrapped up

[Hydra]

35. Right...

It's not a blind attack, though, when they are indeed part of the problem. They are spearheading the initiatives to create a social atmosphere where behavior that they believe is "sinful" is therefore punishable by law or by the people themselves(ie: bullying, lynch mobs and bombings). Gays, boob revealing girls, artists, doctors and scientists all seem to fall under that category for some reason.

Are you a Christian? Do you go to church and see what I see every day in a fairly mainstream and tame congregation?

If you don't have a dog in the fight, then why the blind defense? Or should I just shut up and allow you and them to decide how things should be?

[seabeyond]

36. what a bunch of hyperbole

nto to mention ignoring most of what i am say....

waste of time

same old same old crap.

[Hydra]

46. Sure, and since you haven't given me a solid point

Except further down where you state that you've never had a problem of this type. Good for you! I hope it continues to be so.

On my side, relatives have been "taken out of the will" for the crime of being unmarried for a length of time, and therefore are being "promiscuous" and otherwise evil. We won't even get into the issue of LBGTs or actual sex outside of marriage.

The people in my church mourn openly that they don't have the political power to openly write the laws. Thank God they can't so far, but I suppose it's only a matter of time...after all, we are a "Christian Nation" built on "God's Laws."

Whether you want to hear it or not, you need to know all of the people you are providing cover for. People like me are not offended when the Pope and others of the congregation are being called out for their mistakes, and we are quite capable of carrying the real torch of the church as it always was meant to be carried- SILENTLY.

[seabeyond]

47. you make an absurding ridiculous statement and want it defended.

what is there to discuss?

[nyc 4 Biden]

54. Wow theres a lot of resentment and hatred in that post.

The other poster was trying to make "Christians as a group look pure," as you put it. You have a talent with the broad brush.

[Hydra]

58. Not hatred, disgust

Made all the sharper in the last week:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=221x166284

And all that can be said by some is: "Don't blame the institution that's helping make it possible! After all, it's not all of them!"

I'm not expecting my call for Christians to actually be Christians to do much, but I find it interesting that there is actual pushback to the idea.

Imagine how different things would be if "Love thy neighbor" and tending to the sick and poor were the message, instead of hate the odd one or birth control is evil or excessive wealth is a sign of moral character.

I could ignore all of this, of course. "If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention"

[Name removed]

30. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Name removed]

32. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[AlabamaLibrul]

33. From what I've seen, and pertaining to stories that pick up national traction, yes.

You're getting a bit fervent in your defense of people such as "Focus on the Family" who are indeed pro-bully.

[seabeyond]

34. living in fuckin fundie town. kids in school for years. NOT ONCE have i seen a single... NOT one

christian advocate bullying. never. ever. have i run into a christian, when bullying is discussed, .... never heard a christian say

let bullying commence.

our schools address bullying regularly. you would think if every single time bully happens i would hear a christian speak... and get their wings.

if it happens every single time.... wouldnt the odds be, i would hear a christian say it?

[AlabamaLibrul]

37. Thanks for changing your title from "get the jock strap out of your mouth" which could be construed

as....

Well, you know.

[seabeyond]

38. wink. nt

[Zax2me]

25. EVERY time?

Good grief, man.

The only related examples (here,locally) I can recall, last five years or so, was once when a coalition (Catholics, Muslims...) started an anti-bullying campaign, and a Christian group began a bully awareness program. The coalition actually may have been part of a larger program, not just locally, can't recall for sure.

Point is, you have to be careful when pointing to any group (religious or otherwise) as always this or that by using the extreme example.
That's how we get to "All Muslims are terrorists".
You don't sound much different.
And I'm sure you don't mean to be, but my first reaction when reading your response was of someone complaining about ALL Muslims.

[Name removed]

29. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[slackmaster]

60. Nobody ever stopped me from stopping bullies from bullying

:nuke:

[Xenotime]

2. So sad.

"Mrs. Witsell says she had warned her daughter about the dark side of technology" What else could they do?

[crim son]

3. I hope they did more than just warn her about the dangers of technology.

I hope they sat down with her and discussed her situation. I hope they contacted the school and demanded something be done about the bullying. I hope they told her that she was the most important thing in the world to them and that they would get through this.

Hope springs eternal.

[customerserviceguy]

18. Other parents will be able to use this story

as a way to tell their children about why you shouldn't send others photos of parts that you don't normally expose in public.

[femrap]

63. Don't parents monitor their

kid's FB, etc?? The school should have called the parents immediately if the social worker thought the daughter was considering suicide.

[political_Dem]

5. I just read about this in the news. :(

Poor young lady. With the rash of suicides going on, this one should have as much attention as the others due to the aspect of bullying. This is truly an epidemic in more ways than one. It's horrible to hear that young kids are seeing no other way except to take their own lives. Something has to be done right away. Why aren't the counseling services in school acting on this?

[NC_Nurse]

10. If my daughter made this mistake, I would pull her out of school. Period.

My daughter had a friend that made a similar mistake in the first year of high school. There wasn't the "sexting" thing back then, but she definitely got caught in a compromising situation. When the bullying wouldn't stop, her parents pulled her out of school and a started homeschooling. She finished high school through an Internet school. She made it through and is now a charming and successful 25 year old. I'm so glad they decided to do what they did. It may have saved her life!

[seabeyond]

12. +1. i think

reading this, seems extreme to a point parent would have to see.

not blaming parent, but wondering.

all kinds of options.

[NC_Nurse]

21. Sounds like they didn't know, at least not all of it. Such a sad situation.

[seabeyond]

23. so bad, so bad. was talking to youngest today how happy i am with decision no face book

my space or texting cell phones. it has allowed them to do without and see repercussions and learn lessons. when/if they do miss with this stuff they will be mature enough and much wiser in their use.

[flvegan]

13. Another horrible story.

Such a shame.

[sfwriter]

14. They had a "dress like a nerd" day at my daughter's school...

...in celebration of the high school football team.

She is in FIRST GRADE. I had to explain what a nerd was when she came home talking about how much she hated them and how stupid they were. She didn't even know what a nerd was, just that the school celebrated mocking them. I explained it.

"But dad, I'M A NERD. YOU ARE A NERD."

Damn skippy kid, and proud of it.

I called the school and was told it was all in fun, after all, "Everyone likes to make fun of nerds."

I countered that in a week that four kids committed suicide over bullying, I found that attitude irresponsible. I asked if there was any other group that it would be OK to mock. Dress like a Jew day anyone?

"Just how many negative stereotypes can you reinforce in one day?" I asked.

Since it was made clear to me that I was the only parent to complain AND overreacting, I kept her home.

This is a public school where they made her write "god" over and over when they found out we were secular. So I don't know about xtians specifically supporting bullies, but in this case, they definitely don't seem to give a damn.

[Art_from_Ark]

24. First grade? Wow.

Every day at my elementary school was "dress like a student" day. And I wasn't even aware the high school had a football team until I was in about 4th grade

[tblue37]

40. And you didn't all the ACLU and threaten to sue them? I sure would have.

When my son was punished in fifth grade for "taking the Lord's name in vain" by saying "Oh, my God" when he saw someone take a nasty fall on the playground, I went toe-to-toe with the teacher who punished him and told her that if she ever tried to impose her religious beliefs on one of my kids again I would sue her and the school.

If someone had tried to make my kid write "God" over and over again to try to indoctrinate him into religion, I would have sued imemdiately, without giving a warning first!

I am not naturally litigious. I didn't sue when a mom and pop hardware store did something stupid that caused me to be hurt rather badly, because I didn't want to put them out of business. I could have set myself up for life if I had sued, but I didn't. However, I would have sued in an instant if someone had tried to force religion on one of my kids in the public school.

[Jamastiene]

42. Sounds like the ACLU needs to step in at that school...

ASAP

[ThomCat]

44. A PUBLIC school made your daughter do that?

:wtf:

That is a school that needs a lawsuit! :grr:

No public school should be harassing students because they aren't religious. Ever!

I am so very sorry that your daughter has to put up with that kind of harassment at school. The religious shit, and the "nerd"-bashing. :( :hug:

[uncommon]

49. That is awful.

I'm sorry the school didn't care about your valid concerns.

I would be calling the ACLU personally about the "god" thing as that is just out of control.

[Dappleganger]

52. Good for you!

[K8-EEE]

59. WHAT???? Made her write "god" over and over?

OK THAT IS OUTRAGEOUS

[ZombieHorde]

15. I wonder if the girl who distributed the photo will be charged with distributing child pornography.

[ManiacJoe]

27. Some DAs have gone that far.

[gratuitous]

16. Maybe it's time to expand school curricula

I'm all for reading, writing and arithmetic (Do they even teach reading and writing anymore? I'm very old), but apparently there are holes in the pedagogic universe that need to be plugged before more of our kids get killed or kill themselves. One subject that definitely needs to be covered is the role of the internet, because our lives, and especially our young people's lives, are public in so many ways they never were before. Imagine your worst or most embarrassing or most private moments laid bare for your worst enemy to see, and how your enemy could use it to rally others to pick on you. I'd have a hard time with that and I'm a grown man; a 13-year-old, it's not surprising, would kill herself.

[Odin2005]

17. UGH!

:(

[renate]

19. one reason it didn't get as much attention is that it happened a year ago

On the other hand, this kind of thing must be a million more common than the video streaming that led to Tyler Clementi's suicide. When the daughter of a friend of mine broke up with her turdy boyfriend, he sent nude pictures that she'd sent him to his friends and they went all over the school. And considering that just about every high school romance ends in a breakup, it's amazing that half the texts that kids receive aren't third- or fourth-hand sexts.

[SoCalDem]

48. I must be a fuddy-duddy.. I do NOT get this whole "nude picture" thing

and I also don't "get" the whole 13 yr old-with-a-boyfriend thing either, or that fact that so many kids are "on their phones" 24-7..

The accelerated growing up process is so sad.

[Love Bug]

61. I don't get the nude picture thing, either, but we live in a hyper-sexualized society

where girls as young as 13 are expected to be sexy for the boys. And if anyone doesn't believe me, cruise the teen and women's costume aisle of one of those Halloween stores that crop up this time every year. I dare you to find one costume that isn't designed to enhance their sex appeal. After all, women apparently exist only to arouse men, even at Halloween.

:sarcasm:

[femrap]

64. Thank you!

For the past 5 years, all the costumes are sexee! Just give the kid a sheet and tear out a place for the eyes and mouth....voila, a ghost.

In my day Halloween was all about getting candy....who cared about the costume?

Go walk the aisles of Walmart's little girls clothing section....all sexed up. All the department stores have bras for little girls. SHIT!

TPTB want women back in the kitchen or on the street in stilettos, makeup and showing tons of skin. And don't get me started on that TV show, 'How I Met Your Mother.' :puke: :puke: :puke:

[Zax2me]

26. Just - Sad

These stories are the saddest thing. This girl was so young, and I think that is the part that hits me the hardest.
That and how devastated her parents must be. Can't imagine they can ever fully recover from this horror.

[the redcoat]

39. No Harm contract???

Is there even a point to school counselors if this is the bullshit they're going to try to pull?

How could anyone trained in dealing with the young teenage mind think a 13 year old would take an empty "contract" like that seriously? "Sign this paper" is not even close to being the correct way to approach a suicidal person. If anything, it's worse, it makes them feel untrusted and above all, unimportant. They don't deserve individual attention or effort, they just deserve 2 minutes to sign a piece of paper and then they're on their way. It is an insult.
Bureaucracy at its absolute worst.

[femrap]

65. +1000 nt

[Dark]

41. Sexting, and other forms digital sexual behaviors, need to be a part of sex ed.

Anyone who's been a teenager can tell you, those hormones make you do strange, stupid things. They don't realize the permanence and ubiquity of digital technology. If you put a photo out there, it can remain forever, and be shared with ANYONE.

It's important not just for tragic cases such as this, but also trying to get a job/into a good school later on in their life.

[Number23]

43. Dammit!!

"A spokesperson for the school says the social worker was concerned Hope might have been trying to hurt herself, so she had Hope sign what's called a "no harm" contract in which Hope agreed to talk to an adult if she wanted to harm herself."

Why the HELL didn't they talk to this girls' parents?? If the fear was great enough that the counselor asked her to sign a contract, why in God's name wouldn't they let her parents know??

[ck4829]

50. Very sad.