Insane shit you have to believe to be a Conservative Republican.

[arbusto_baboso]

I'm starting a list of some of the stupid crap one has to believe in order to be a Conservative Republican (or a Blue Dog Dem, for that matter). Please feel free to add more items you can think of:

- You must believe that "throwing money at a problem" never solves it. Unless the problem is national "defense", or the "persecution" of ultra-wealthy people and/or corporations. Then throwing money at it (government money) is the ONLY solution.

- You must believe that mankind is inherently evil rather than good. Therefore, a voluntary association of humans in the form of government is a bad thing. But somehow the association of those same humans with evil tendencies in corporations is a GOOD thing.

- You must believe that corporations can set policies in America's interests, even though recent crises in the auto, banking, and housing industries have shown that corporations are too damned stupid and greedy to do what is in THEIR OWN long-term best interests.

- You must believe that our current, very moderate President is a "socialist", even though many of his views are to the right of Dwight Eisenhower (check out the Republican Party campaign platforms from the 1950s to see what I mean).

- You must believe that privatizing everything in this country is not only best from the point of view of "freedom", but that it would also do the greatest good for the greatest number, even though recent stock market volatility would've wiped out the retirement monies of many Americans had their Social Security been privatized.

[Deep13]

1. Poor people deserve to be poor because they are hoarding all the money. nt

[arbusto_baboso]

4. And therefore, of course, rich people not only deserve to be rich...

but are in fact morally superior to poor people.

And I've actually heard some rethugs state things in these exact terms. Gawd I hate the Gospel of Prosperity.

[HappyMe]

9. Poor people deserve to be poor

because it's their own damn fault. The don't deserve health care & they all abuse the system.

[arbusto_baboso]

2. Another...

- You must believe that cutting taxes for the wealthiest American individuals and corporations "creates jobs", even though the track record of the past 30 years clearly demonstrates otherwise. Unless, of course, you are referring to creating jobs in India and China.

[arbusto_baboso]

3. Yet another....

- You must believe that it is "unpatriotic" to criticize the President in time of war. Unless the Prez happens to be a Democrat.

- You must be "pro life" in the case of abortion, and pro-death penalty and anti sex education for young people. And you must constantly glorify war and say you 'support the troops", even though you won't lift a finger to help them once they return from the wars.

[msanthrope]

5. Apparently, you have to believe that a cosmic Jewish Zombie

who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree... (stolen from Digg)

or some variation thereof.

[arbusto_baboso]

6. There are many right here on DU who believe that.

I'm not one of them, but we might want to dial-down that rhetoric a bit.

You're not wrong, but still...

[pgodbold]

10. Apparently bitten by an Easter egg at an early age.

[Deep13]

7. Sickness is a judgment from God.

Suffering without treatment or losing your house is part of that judgment.

[Deep13]

8. Corporations are pure and innocent beings...

...who exhale a fresh, pine scent and shit streams of daffodils while blessing all they touch with warmth and delight.

[DainBramaged]

11. Liberals are baddddddddd

got to get it in fast....

[HughBeaumont]

12. Government ANYTHING will result in high-cost, no freedom and no choice.

It's a far, FAR better idea to have a corporation inflict all of these things on me instead. In fact, let's privatize Washington while we're at it. I think the U.S. would kick some ASS if we were run like a corporation. :sarcasm: :eyes: :sarcasm: :eyes: :sarcasm: :eyes: :sarcasm: :eyes: :sarcasm: :eyes: :sarcasm: :eyes: :sarcasm: :eyes: :sarcasm: :eyes: :sarcasm: :eyes: :sarcasm: :eyes: