Pot Smoking Radicals Are Using the Internet to Turn America Into a Socialist Sex Utopia

[alfredo]

http://christwire.org/2010/10/pot-smoking-radicals-are-using-the-internet-to-turn-america-into-a-socialist-sex-utopia/


One of the most disturbing aspects of Barack Obama’s ascension to the Oval Office is that this nation is now formally turning a blind eye to marijuana abuse among our young people. Legalization is no longer a philosophical question. It’s happening in our very communities. Unscrupulous doctors are even prescribing the street drug as some sort of “miracle cure.” They bastardize health studies and local legislative mandates to sell the deadly weed and no police force is stopping them.

Yet marijuana still remains a controlled substance that violates federal narcotics laws. It is a well-known component in violent crime, the mafia, street gangs, murder, foreign socialist governments and the skyrocketing number of illegal aliens entering this country. On the home front, it quite simply destroys lives. As “pot” travels from inner city ghettos to quiet American communities, it finances the worst sorts of criminal hedonists who prey on children. Once in a young person’s hands, the drug wrecks hopes and dreams. It crushes one’s mental development and makes a person incapable of hard work. Our youth addicts lack the ability to face complex problems and lose all interest in physical exercise. It is a gateway to a life deferred, desperate and alone.

-snip-

Yet young people will do anything for this grungy skanky weed. They will lie and cheat. They will steal car stereos or trade their delicate, yearning bodies to bearded ex-cons. They will flirt with biker gangs or cruise skid row. And once they grab hold of a bag of this deadly drug, they become paranoid and greedy, often turning to violence to knock off their fellow addicts so they will have more for themselves. To do their smoking, teens and 20-somethings seek out the very places that a serial killer would likely prowl– empty parking lots and abandoned buildings. Just imagine your kids falling asleep, knocked out on drugs, as unknown pedophiles watch from nearby bushes… Or else they lock themselves behind dead bolts in rundown railroad flats, heavy blankets covering the windows and the phone permanently off the hook to avoid calls from Mom.

[H2O Man]

1. Then there is

still hope for this country!

[MattBaggins]

2. Excellent news

[Scuba]

95. Where do I sign up?

[left coaster]

3. I wish! :) nt

[leeroysphitz]

4. It's about time. n/t

[Roon]

21. Awww, i remember the ghost from mario

it was cute how he would cover his eyes when you turned and looked at him.

[Fumesucker]

5. A perfect example of Poe's law..

"Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

I honestly can't tell if this is parody or not..

[pscot]

32. The first part reads like DEA bilerplate

Then the weirdness bubbles over.

[mrs_p]

55. me neither

it just seems like "grungy skanky weed" would only be used by a true connoisseur.

[NobleCynic]

72. Yeah, I want to call parody on this one too... n/t

[Name removed]

6. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[alfredo]

53. I don't mind people being opposed to anything, but please

tell the truth. The anti pot crowd has lied so much they have no credibility.

[petronius]

7. "...or trade their delicate, yearning bodies to bearded ex-cons."

Sounds like whoever wrote this got their 'fantasy' folder mixed up with their 'righteous screed' folder. I hate it when that happens... :rofl:

Unless, of course, the whole article is a prank? It sure reads like satire, but it's so hard to be sure...

[WestSeattle2]

82. LOL - thanks for the chuckle

[alfredo]

93. "...or trade their delicate, yearning bodies to bearded ex-cons." The

writer is just jealous.

[stuntcat]

8. if only!

.

[Ilsa]

9. Pot smokers boosting stuff?

That is soooo funny!

[Dennis Donovan]

11. Maybe boosting Ho-Ho's?

;-)

[Cleita]

10. Yeah, disgusting, isn't it?

:sarcasm:

[Old and In the Way]

12. He must have been exhausted from all that strawman construction.

Either the person is playing an elaborate satirical prank with this post....or he/she is sadly delusional.

[MilesColtrane]

13. "They will... trade their delicate, yearning bodies to bearded ex-cons."

*roffle*

[B Calm]

14. Socialist Sex Utopia. . . Hell Yes!!!!!!

[Liberal Veteran]

18. And pot!

Just in case you get bored with all the utopian sex.

[B Calm]

23. Sounds cool to me. Hope they give us old farts free Viagra!

[alfredo]

75. And free ice tea at Applebee's.

[ThomThom]

91. you will need the free ice tea to stay awake waiting for service

at Applebee's

[alfredo]

92. I gauge service by how many times I have to run to the men's

room before my food arrives. That tea goes right through me.

[Hatchling]

26. About time!

I've been waiting for a Pot Smoking Socialist Sex Utopia since the sixties!

(and of course doing my own "grassroots" activities to bring this about. :) )

[TexasObserver]

15. If only!!

God loves you and he wants you to burn in hell.

Sex is disgusting and you should save it for someone you love.



I can't remember who said that, or I'd give credit.

[DisgustipatedinCA]

27. Butch Hancock, of The Flatlanders

One of my favorite quotes.

http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/life_in_lubbock_texas_taught_me_two_things_butch_hancock/

[TexasObserver]

35. Thank you!

I probably could have found it, but I wasn't in the mood to go looking and assumed someone here would know!

[ocd liberal]

16. Yahoo! n/t

[Liberal Veteran]

17. Well, shit, count me in.

Sounds like heaven on earth.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

19. Again! ??

B-)

[BeyondGeography]

20. God Bless America

Land that I love.

[Maine-ah]

22. oh so lmao at the moment.

[Radical Activist]

24. Yes!

Count me in!

[Voice for Peace]

25. grungy skanky weed

:rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl:

[slay]

28. How cool would that be?

Wow just a tiny bit of over-reaction from "christwire" me thinks. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

don't know bout yall, but i've never traded my "delicate, yearning body to a bearded ex-con". bwhhahahaha!

do they seriously expect this kind of bullshit propaganda to work? :rofl:

here's a real christ-like message for them ->>

[Fuzz]

29. "As “pot” travels from inner city ghettos to quiet American communities" LMFAO

Fucking idiots.

[tridim]

38. Yea, that made me LOL too. Humans have been using Cannabis for thousands of years.

It is used all over the world by people of all colors.

Why? Because it works.

[Avalux]

30. Deadly drug?

If I didn't know the origin, I'd think this article was satire. Hilarious.

[PeaceNikki]

39. It *IS* satire.

[dimbear]

67. There has to be an interesting backstory behind this chap.

Spinning up that big a gag website takes many hours. Must have some issues with religion.

Some of the writing reminds me of the National Lampoon.

Did you get down to his links, which he calls the Axis of Evil? Good choices.............

[PeaceNikki]

70. Yes, he prides himself on being satire and not parody.

And often criticizes Landover for outing itself so blatantly.

[old mark]

31. Coming soon to a town near you....?....nt

[Bennyboy]

33. Where do I sign up?

I been puffing the ganj for about fifty years and I have yet to get anywhere near a sex utopia. The questions is do I smoke more?

[Generic Other]

34. What is Christwire smoking?

If you check out the website, it is clear they puffed those huge joints they pictured, then addressed the kind of thorny theological question only a stoned fundie could come up with: Do Gay Pets Go to Heaven?


:rofl:

[WorseBeforeBetter]

36. "Delicate, yearning bodies"... I think I'm gonna hurl.

If only I had some weed to combat the nausea!

[Liberal Veteran]

46. The nausea is just a symptom of your delicate yearning.

[tridim]

37. That's the America they want to "take back".

The America that constantly lies about reality (for profit) and gets away with it every time.

In my experience nobody lies more than "Christians".

[PeaceNikki]

40. pssst.... it's satire

Many here don't seem to get that. As was said above... Poe's Law and all, but this site is satire.

[MineralMan]

94. Oh, hush! It's more fun if you don't tell.

For pete's sake. Enjoy the euphoria of Poe's law. :evilgrin:

[sabrina 1]

41. I love this from the comment section:

american youth says:
October 8, 2010 at 2:14 pm

I have never touched maurijuana or any other illegal substance in the entire length of my very short life (20-ish). I am totally clean, I never even drink nor smoke. I will say this about your article with an entirely clear, sober, and logical mind; “your article made me wanna get high!” And “now I think maurijuana is cool and I have been totally missing out on several great parties!” Seriously though, I really need to get laid and if I hafta take a few drags on a funny smelling joint, then I’ll do it. Oh and by the way, thanks for the great tip!

Rotfl! That is the funniest article I have read for a long time. I'd love to see what Jon Stewart would do with it.

[creeksneakers2]

42. "sex naturally ensues"

"Paganistic, hedonistic orgies of lust perversion where no hole is left unviolated...Penetrating each other for days, slobbering like wolves gorging on a carcass, the stain of their fluids on every wall will grow tacky before the hippie party ends. They will return to this again and again until they no longer know what sex is, what decency is, what America is...stripping down to their dirty jockstraps and unclasping corpulent bras so they can grope each other in stoned fantasy lands of “free love” fetish play where every finger finds a hole, every mouth finds a nipple. God forbid our enemies invade, they would discover our hearty children fornicating in every corner of this country, drugged out of their minds, bare behinds in the wind… And knowing the lusty and immoral cravings of those swarthy barbarians, they would most likely jump right in and ride our young heathens off into the sunset of America’s greatness, slapping and howling to Allah all the way."

[Name removed]

43. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[EFerrari]

44. Promises, promises.

lol

[Better Believe It]

45. Where is this socialist sex utopia located? I and my spouse might want to move there!

[Odin2005]

47. The 60s called, thery want their Bircher hysteria back!

[Mnpaul]

48. They are suffering from reefer madness

[struggle4progress]

49. Let's go smoke mary jane in an internet chat room and then start a virtual orgy in the corner!

[Turbineguy]

50. Reefer Madness!

Let there be great wailing and gnashing of teeth!

[felix_numinous]

51. As opposed to a Fascist Sexless Dystopia?

What kind of country do they want to take back--because it ain't us.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

52. K&R just for the lovely headline. nt

:rofl:

[spanone]

54. gawd, i hope so

[blondeatlast]

56. You just have to see the pictures at the link. Trust me. nt

[blondeatlast]

57. I don't use pot, but otherwise, count me in! nt

[Arctic Dave]

58. OMG! This is absolutely hilarious! Bravo! Bravo!

I doth my hat and give a deep bow to the master who wrote this.

[Blue_In_AK]

59. Well, of course.

That's exactly what I've been doing for the past 43 years. I never thought they'd catch on to my plot. Damn.

[annabanana]

60. Reefer Madness 3.0 . . . . . n/t

[Matariki]

61. Heroes!

yay! for the Socialist Sex Utopia!!!

[GoneOffShore]

62. Look at his Facebook page for some genuine yucks and ickyness -

Stephenson Billings

And on the right hand side there is this:

Special Leader of Christian Camping Trips for Hearty Teens! Inquire Within!

[shanti]

88. oh gag me!

did you check out his music faves? prussian blue. just another racist teabagger!

[GoneOffShore]

100. Figured out it's a Poe.

Total satire which just goes to prove that a satire of fundamentalist whack jobbery is indistinguishable from ACTUAL fundamentalist whack jobbery.

[cleanhippie]

63. Typical ignorant rant.

Not impressed.

[LWolf]

64. It's about time the country headed down a better path. nt

[Ghost in the Machine]

65. Mmmm.. delicate, yearning bodies!!

[nosmokes]

66. Cool! What's the address for this America?

I wanna go there.

[Warren DeMontague]

68. Christwire is giving the Onion a run for its money.

Funny stuff.

[Warren DeMontague]

69. You know how you know christwire is satire?

Anyone actually that stupid wouldn't have a site that well designed.

[PeaceNikki]

74. Article here

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/04/us/04beliefs.html?ref=religion_and_belief

[Fly by night]

71. No fair!! It's not just "young people (who) will do anything for this grungy skanky weed."

Don't forget us seniors, you young whipper-snappers.

We'll work for skanky weed too.

[felix_numinous]

73. Clicking on the link

there's actually an article titled: Do gay pets go to heaven? :crazy:

[Rhiannon12866]

76. What?!

That really is insane... :crazy:

[alfredo]

77. Well, God® made everything, so he made gay pets.

So why wouldn't he or she want them there.

[GoneOffShore]

78. Should have known it was a Poe.

Funny though.

[asdjrocky]

79. I did not get my invitation to the Sex Utopia.

I'm sure it was simply lost in the mail so I'll just show up for the Sex Utopia, when I show them how medicated I am, I'm sure they'll let me in.

Edited to add-
What if God smoked cannabis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O21St4SMs68

[TK421]

80. Took them long enough!

[DirkGently]

81. We can only hope.

[frogmarch]

83. "Paganistic, hedonistic orgies of lust perversion

where no hole is left unviolated."

:rofl:

[alfredo]

84. Sounds like a good time to me.

[kenny blankenship]

85. If only it were so simple!

[REP]

86. Christwire is satire ... not always easy to tell

[shanti]

87. "the deadly weed"

it's reefer madness again! :crazy:

[Zax2me]

89. Good news! n/a

[krabigirl]

90. i didn't realize that this was satire..very funny

[felix_numinous]

96. I didn't know it was satire either!

Really good satire does look like truth---truthiness.

[whathehell]

97. Oh hell..Internet or not, if it didn't work in the Sixties, it won't work now...

The "revolution" OR the B.S. about pot addiction.

"..will do anything ..Steal cars or 'trade their delicate, yearning bodies to beaded ex-cons'"...OMG. :rofl:

[TrogL]

98. Projecting much?

Whoever wrote this is really gettin' into it.

[undeterred]

99. Sounds utopian...

:hippie: :party: :smoke:

[Uncle Joe]

101. Yay!! If Jesus were here, I believe he would start making a lot of wine to celebrate.

:bounce: :toast: :party: :hippie:

Thanks for the thread, alfredo.

[alfredo]

102. Some fish and loaves would make good munchies.