How Do You React When You Hear an Ethnic Slur?

[jumptheshadow]

I always speak out except when it's somebody dangerous-looking on the subway who I think can harm me. Then I put on my headphones and try to put some distance between us.

Ethnic slurs always offend me.

I just wanted to compare the results of this poll to the other one.

[VMI Dem]

1. I predict much different results.

[racaulk]

3. Yep, this should be interesting...and very telling.

:hi:

[w8liftinglady]

2. My children know beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I absolutely will not allow them,and have shown them how these terms have been used in the past.As you all know,I also live where a large KKK group exists.nonetheless,I have taught my kids(who are big,strong men now) to not bow to racial epithets-it is a sign of ignorence and evil.
I have no problem correcting my co-workers,either.

[valerief]

4. I'm sick and tired of the Class Slurs.

"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps."
"Personal responsibility"
"Welfare queens"
"Government is the problem."
"Taxed enough already."

Code words that only benefit the wealthy.

[w8liftinglady]

5. That offends me as well.

[Deep13]

7. +1

[w0nderer]

13. +1

it's only class war when we fight back
before then it's class genocide

classocide?

If i remember right H Ford had this idea of making sure his employees could afford to buy the product
...whatta concept! :-))

[Quantess]

6. Clarifying your question would be helpful.

Do you mean, in a conversation or discussion that I am personally involved in? Or, does this include conversations overheard, out in public? I typically don't butt into strangers' conversations.

[jumptheshadow]

12. What about personal discussions?

Or discussions with friends, colleagues or neighbors?

Or if you saw something on Facebook?

If you saw somebody you considered vulnerable being verbally attacked in public, what would you do about it if you believe you could intervene without danger?

[Quantess]

14. Well, that's exactly my point.

Your question is really open ended and vague. But that's perfectly fine for a discussion. It just makes a poll more tricky, that's all.

I would most likely say or do something in all of those situations, depending on the exact circumstances.

[lpbk2713]

8. I think of how ignorant the speaker must be.

If I have children with me I let them know that is not an acceptable way to express oneself.

[Lucy Goosey]

9. I once left on a guy in the middle of a dinner date...

...because he used an anti-semitic slur, and didn't even understand why how I could possibly be upset, given that I'm not Jewish. Then, he attempted justify the slur, by essentially saying it's not a slur to imply that Jewish people are cheap/misers/tightwads, because it's true - had seen statistical proof. :eyes: I made it clear to him that I was leaving because I don't date bigots.

It was my first and final date with this charming creature, even though he kept calling me for weeks and twice showed up at my work. He was acting like he was being gracious by forgiving me for getting "hysterical" at dinner - and yes "hysterical" was his word. As I said, charming.

[Behind the Aegis]

21. Mazel Tov!

May you find that perfect someone who will appreciate you!

[northoftheborder]

10. My reaction depends upon the situation, the place, and the person.

If it is someone in my family, I definitely would speak out. If an acquaintance, depends upon how well I know that person. I might say something, if not I would cross off that person as a friend, and avoid him or her. If a stranger, I would ignore, out of safety of my person. Maybe that is cowardly, but I'm honest about how or what influence I could possibly have.

[NutmegYankee]

11. It depends on the ethnicity and the intent.

Racism is always unacceptable, but the Italians and Irish routinely mock each other "tongue in cheek" here in New England. It is culturally accepted, and it isn't seen as bigotry. It's often friends mocking each other as such. I grew up down south so it was weird at first but now I've gotten used to hearing it.

I think at one time it was a prejudice, but now those underlying issues are gone and it's just part of the culture. The south is white or black. Here it's Italian, English, Irish, Polish, Portuguese, German, etc.

[HuckleB]

38. Indeed.

I have friends who began calling me Kraut back in high school, and it took some getting used to, because I knew they weren't coming after me. They were guys I loved, and still do. Some of the same guys took others calling them Wop in stride. I never felt comfortable going there, but I understood that it meant nothing. In truth, it was one of the many goofy things we did that brought us together. Still, there is a difference. No one would have thought to use a derogatory term toward friends of Hispanic heritage. Italians and Germans are old immigrants, and no one is playing any racist cards against them now. However, the same cannot be said for our friends of Hispanic heritage, thus such a slur would not be considered as a bonding piece among a crowd of friends of varied heritage. Maybe it does happen in some circles, but not in the ones I've been in...

[MineralMan]

15. I voted the same way in this poll as I did in the other one.

I object and speak out.

[blondeatlast]

16. +1. It's what civilized people do. nt

[ThomasQED]

17. Other: I alert and let the moderators take care of it.

Only half joking.

[independent_voter]

18. does anyone really hear them any more?

i never do

the social consequences are very severe, almost draconian

yet, slurs like 'geek' and 'nerd' are used on people in my occupation (tech) all the time, no matter what your personal style is. i once called out a very left leaning friend on it when she used it, and she explained that 'i should not be offended'. Aoparently only she knows what is offensive or not. What do i know, I;m just a moderate and lack her enlightnment

i guess i did not have her permission

[WorseBeforeBetter]

25. That's quite a story. (n/t)

[CBR]

26. My husband and I were at Popeye's chicken a few years ago when

a young man started calling my husband a n***** and me a n***** lover. Yes, it happens. Luckily, a nice older couple in another booth invited us to sit with them. Their reaction warmed my heart.

[pitohui]

44. from very old people you do sometimes

a few days ago i met a horrid old lady from florida who had no topic of conversation other than how much she hated blacks and puerto ricans

she was around 80 and obv. losing her marbles...hate is aging and unattractive, that's for sure...

and yet i've met other old folks, here in the south, and not just in new orleans, but in mississippi as well, in their 70s and 80s, who voted for obama

they might be the same age as that lady but somehow they seemed a lot more "with it"

[independent_voter]

19. some left leaning people are ok with occupational slurs like 'geek' 'nerd' etc. Best Buy even has

'Geek Squad', and no one says a word

[JI7]

24. that's because it's actually a positive

[independent_voter]

27. oh really

since when do we tell people how they should take things, when the word has very negative orgins?

geek noun \ˈgēk\
Definition of GEEK
1: a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake
2: a person often of an intellectual bent who is disliked
3: an enthusiast or expert especially in a technological field or activity <computer geek>
— geek·dom\ˈgēk-dəm\ noun
— geek·i·ness noun
— geeky\ˈgē-kē\ adjective

my father also studied hard in school, and for that he was called 'Doctor'

I dont even ask to be called 'Mister', calling me by my first name is fine

All I ask, is to not be called by a slur

[JI7]

29. it's not a slur as the others are, i consider myself a political geek

[independent_voter]

31. so i guess i have no say in tthis

or what i'm called

and a lot of people in my field noticed that the 'geek' and 'nerd' stuff started as our livelhoods were being packed up and shipped to india

social marginalization often preceeds political marginalization

[CBR]

28. I am getting my PhD -- I call myself a nerd all of the time. nt

[independent_voter]

30. many african americans call each other a certain word

does that revoke everyone elses right to take offense? at being called it

[CBR]

32. I was just stating my preference as you stated your's. Plus I do not

think the two words compare on any level. Not at all.

[independent_voter]

33. they're both slurs

unless you think i have no say in what i consider a slur

adn it absolutely promotes a stereotype that many people dont like

(when I started, the image was the grey or blue suited IBM guy with starched white shirt)

geek noun \ˈgēk\
Definition of GEEK
1: a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake
2: a person often of an intellectual bent who is disliked
3: an enthusiast or expert especially in a technological field or activity <computer geek>
— geek·dom\ˈgēk-dəm\ noun
— geek·i·ness noun
— geeky\ˈgē-kē\ adjective

nerd noun \ˈnərd\
Definition of NERD
: an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; especially : one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits <computer nerds>
— nerd·i·ness\ˈnər-dē-nəs\ noun
— nerd·ish\ˈnər-dish\ adjective

[CBR]

34. You can define a slur as you please and I can say I think it is

stupid as hell to equate N***** to Geek. It is stupid as hell.

I do not think I could spend my time worrying about being called a nerd. Is it that troublesome?

[independent_voter]

35. I didnt compare one word to another, i said they're both slurs, and it's true

are you the only one allowed to express an opinion on this?

[CBR]

36. I am pretty sure that we are both expressing our opinions or

did you overlook your myriad of posts in this thread? That is called expressing your opinion -- you seem to be annoyed that I have a differing one so you are projecting your dislike of me expressing my opinion by claiming that I am shutting out your expression. It is a neat trick employed often on DU.

[independent_voter]

37. you're saying it's horrible to offend you, but ok to offend me nt

[CBR]

39. No, my opinion is that the n word is way worse than geek.

You have a different opinion. I am offended by one and not the other. You have a different opinion. My opinion is not limiting you from expressing yours because it disagrees with yours. If I were not allowed to disagree with your opinion, then you would be suppressing mine.

[independent_voter]

40. But I'm not using it the n word

nor is anyone i know, or even know of

i'm just asking a little return consideration

they used to call it 'etiquette'

[CBR]

41. WTF? You might have trouble interpreting posts. They used to call that

reading comprehension.

Regarding the N word, please see my post above where I report a personal, recent incident I encountered. This happens more than people want to admit.

[independent_voter]

42. so just because you went into a popeyes and got called that, we;re all guilty?

years ago, i went into a mcdonalds

some people in the parking lot, yelled at me and spit on my car - no provokation from me at all

any less offensive?

who did they represent, besides themselves that i might hold responsible?

do YOU feel responsible?

sometimes you run into jerk losers at a fast food place

[InvisibleTouch]

45. "Geek" is a positive term these days!

It means a smart person who knows their way around computers and can fix the disasters that the rest of us create. :) Thus the Geek Squad. In a world dependent upon technology, geekdom is cool. English is a living language, and words do change their meanings and connotations over time.

Now if *you* personally don't take it as a compliment, it's totally within your rights to tell others you don't like to be called that. But that doesn't change the fact that it's almost universally meant in a positive way these days.

[-..__...]

20. Other.

I'm not offended at all.

Hell... depending on the situation, I might even find it amusing.

[Odin2005]

22. I chew the fucker out.

[spanone]

23. i'm always stunned by the sheer ignorance

[pitohui]

43. it offends me but i learn nothing from "speaking out"

i voted "i say nothing" because it's the closest thing to what i usually do -- we will never understand what drives these people if we are incapable of listening

most of the people who are so uninhibited that they come right out with ethnic or racist sluts, just look at them a minute, listen to them, really look and listen

what are they? almost always they are older people (no longer in control of their judgment) or they are stupid people (never were in control of their judgement)

i can't change an aging brain nor can i change a brain that was born a bit below par and then received a below par or even a hate-mongering education from their "church"

so...to "speak out" is just blowing hot air around to impress myself w. how superior i am

instead i prefer to recognize that there are some battles not worth the fighting

as the saying goes...you can't teach a pig to whistle, it just pisses off the pig

let a pig be a pig and let everyone see the pig for what he is...and don't give the pig the drama award of attention that she's seeking...that to me is almost always the best thing to do

now all bets are off if this person is trying to verbally abuse/bully someone or otherwise harm someone right in front of me, then i do speak up...but if the person is just blowing smoke and no one is around to be harmed by the smoke blowing...don't even give 'em the satisfaction of letting em know you think they're a fuckwit

[guitar man]

46. Other

I usually sigh and/ or roll my eyes, shake my head in disgust and then turn a nd walk away from the offensive idiot. I think it gets the point across nicely. Sometimes what remains unsaid is more powerful than anything we might say.

[jumptheshadow]

47. Kick to show the difference between this poll and the gay one (nt)